“Whoa, someone’s been watching Star Trek,” Conor blurted out.
Dec shrugged. “Shay loves it. Cameron does too.”
I smirked. “And you don’t?”
His nose crinkled at the bridge. “I’d prefer an art documentary, but it keeps my kids happy. What the hell else am I supposed to do?”
Brennan shook his head. “You definitely don’t take after the school of Da.”
Dec stiffened and shot me a wary look—each of them did that whenever they mentioned their parents. Not Conor, though. Naturally.
“No, I fucking don’t,” Declan mumbled. “You think I’d treat my sons like he treated me?”
“Theoretically, and statistically, you should. Systemic abuse does that to a person,” Conor pointed out.
“Yeah, well, I’m breaking the mold. And Aela would chop me up and store me in the freezer if I ever made my kids feel like they were pieces of shit.”
For a second, the guys just looked at each other.
I knew what they were thinking—Lena hadn’t done dick to stop Senior from making them feel like they were pieces of shit.
“You seen Ma recently?” Conor rasped.
A part of me tensed up, but they were my brothers and she was their mother. I’d absented myself from their lives, they hadn’t, and I didn’t expect them to. Aoife didn’t either.
Both of us were just grateful we got to have our cake and eat it too.
Saturday night was ours. Sunday dinner was theirs.
I handled Senior on business, saw Lena every second Wednesday when she came into the city to visit with Jake, and other than that, I honored my wife’s request that I keep them out of our lives.
I knew the brothers shot me looks, their shoulders stiff with tension, but I murmured, “I saw her on Wednesday. She’s lost weight.”
Kid started picking off the label on his beer. “A lot of it. Think she’s off her meds again. Seen the state of her throat? She’s back to scratching.”
“I know she is,” Brennan muttered. “Da’s not much better.”
Aidan drank some of his whiskey. “I’m not sure if we’ll have much longer with them.”
Brennan blinked. “Well, that’s fucking depressing.”
“Is it? They’re both sick, Bren. Mentally and physically.” He adjusted his seated position and grimaced, pain flicking over his features. “Maybe sending them to Florida would help.”
Declan hooted. “Florida? Yeah, I can totally see them living it up in Boca Raton.”
“Maybe they’ve got that seasonal depression shit.” Aidan’s tone was musing.
“Who does?” Eoghan demanded as he strolled into the living room.
“Your folks,” I replied.
“Summer only just ended,” Eoghan said, clearly confused by our conversation as he slumped on the sofa.
“Maybe they need more vitamin D,” Junior retorted doggedly.
“They need their family around them,” Brennan intoned, then he raised his hands. “I’m not saying they should get that, not saying they’ve earned the right, but that’s their problem.
“Ma’s met Cameron once. Aela’s barely visiting and neither’s Shay. Aoife, Jake, and Finn’s places are dusty. The table’s always half empty now.
“It’s sad really. Of all the shit they did…” He shook his head. “Actually, it makes sense.”
“What does?” Kid questioned.
“He raised us to adore our women, didn’t he?” Brennan pointed out, earning nods from us all. “We would never cut ties for ourselves. That’s not how shit works. But for them?” He laughed. “Funny how he reared us to be that way and that’ll be his Kryptonite.”
“You have a point,” I mused softly, and like his words delivered them, we heard the soft laughter of our women.
Aoife’s chuckle and Aela’s bawdy snicker. Savannah’s husky laugh, Inessa’s soft giggle, and Camille’s snort of amusement.
As they wandered into the room, they brought joy with them. Love. A levity that we’d all been lacking our whole lives.
They were our light at the end of a tunnel none of us had realized we were stuck in.
As Aoife settled beside me, perching her ass on the armrest of my armchair, a glass of wine in her hand, she shot me a smile that lit me up from the inside out.
Some might say that marriage had softened me.
But what ‘they’ didn’t realize was… it had taken her love, our marriage, to make me stand up to the biggest, meanest motherfucker in the city.
Christ, on the East Coast.
Who was the pussy now?
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Conor: Do you think I should?
Finn: Give me a clue. Should what?
Conor: Should visit Star.
Finn: Maybe preface messages with the entire question, Conor. We can save time that way.
Conor: Finn! I’m having a meltdown here.
Finn: Why?
Conor: She isn’t talking to me.
Finn: Women do that. What did you do to piss her off?
Conor: Nothing.
Finn: It’s never nothing. Did you forget her birthday?
Conor: No.
Finn: An anniversary?
Conor: Look, Star isn’t a normal woman, Finn. Things like that don’t make her mad.
Finn: Hahaha, excuse me while I die over here. ALL women are like that. I don’t give a fuck what they say; they care about that shit. Put reminders on, set alarms, just never forget birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.
Conor: You think I don’t have a million reminders set for the family’s birthdays? I know how to set a reminder, Finn.
Finn: So why didn’t you do that this time?
Conor: Because I didn’t forget anything! I gave her a damn gift recently. Anyway, she wouldn’t stop talking to me over that. I even let her win our last game of Call of Duty.
Finn: How benevolent of you.
Conor: Shut up. Tell me what to do.
Finn: I don’t see that there’s any harm in visiting her.
Conor: What if I shouldn’t?
Finn: What?
Conor: What if it’s better if we never meet?
Finn: Conor, why would that be the best thing to happen? What’s going on with you?
Conor: I’m fucked up, Finn.
Finn: No more than any of us. We all found someone, didn’t we?
Conor: I’m worse than you.
Finn: Than Aidan? I doubt it. Do you skin people as well as electrocute them?
Conor: No.
Finn: Well, then.
Conor: I’m wrong.
Conor: Something’s not right in my head.
Finn: Okay, let’s have some real talk here, Kid.
Finn: You are one of the best men I know.
Finn: You deserve love.
Finn: You deserve a future.
Finn: You are more than the sum of your past.
Finn: There is nothing wrong with you. Do you understand me?
**Ten minutes later**
Finn: Kid, don’t go quiet on me now.
Conor: What if I don’t deserve any of that?
Finn: You do.
Conor: What if you don’t know the real me?
Finn: I know the real you, Conor. I know that behind all the BS, you’ve got a heart of gold. It might be tarnished, but that’s life.