“Alan,” Finn said, and I shot him a smile.
“Finn,” my father rumbled.
“Go ahead,” I directed, seeing that there was some kind of silent pissing match going on even though there were several hundred miles separating the pair of them.
“The threat has been handled.”
Relief hit me. “That’s great news.”
“I wanted to let you know… I have to go. Stay safe.”
He cut the call, and Finn murmured, “I don’t like that man.”
“You voted for him.”
“So did you. I don’t have to like him to know he was the best of two evils. Fucking democracy,” he grumbled. “What kind of election is it when you’ve got a corrupt piece of shit on one end and a corrupt piece of shit on the other?”
“You’re talking to the wrong person. You know Jen’s the one who digs all the conspiracy shit.”
“This isn’t a conspiracy!” was Finn’s snippy retort. “That’s what makes it worse. What kind of world is this little man going to grow up in, huh?” He sighed and reached over to run his hand over Jake’s head before he pressed his other to my belly. “Sometimes, I despair for this fucking planet.”
His somber tone filled me with concern. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
He shot me a weary smile. “I’m better knowing you’re safe.”
“You’ve been down—”
“I just need a break. The holidays weren’t exactly that.”
“Do you want to stay a couple days in Boston? Maybe get some downtime?”
He’d mentioned the cruise, and now I realized it was as much for me to relax as it was for him. Yet the prospect of being on a ship right now didn’t fill me with glee.
“I can’t. The Hanover takeover just triggered an explosion of work. I’m taking more time off than I can afford tomorrow for the ceremony.”
“What are you working for, Finn?” I asked, tipping my head to the side. “We have all this.” I looked around the room, the massive room, just one of a dozen in the penthouse. “What more do we possibly need?”
“I’m not trying to get richer,” he denied.
“Then what, love?” I questioned, pressing my hand above his on my belly and bridging my fingers with his.
“I’m buying respectability.”
His words had me looking at Jake. “For him?”
“For him. Senior will expect him to join the ranks. I don’t know—if I don’t provide another path, then…” He paused a second. “They’re all I had when I was growing up. You and Jake and this little one are my family; you’re what matters the most, but I—”
“You need them too. I get it, sweetheart. You don’t have to justify—”
“If you knew what I did for them, what I’ve done…” He released a shaky breath. “It keeps me awake at night, Aoife.”
“Then I need to get better at helping you sleep.”
“No, this isn’t on you.” He stared at Jake who’d grown bored with the hedgehog and was cackling as he slammed it against the comforter. “I have to provide another path just in case Aidan’s figured out how to stay alive forever.”
“Aidan Jr. wouldn’t force the issue? Isn’t that his job? He’ll want to continue the line, won’t he?”
“He’ll have no choice,” Finn confirmed.
“Unless there’s another way.”
Finn nodded.
“And that’s why you barely rest and why you’re always working?”
“Yes. So that Jake can be free of the Points. So that Shay can be, so that the kid in Aela’s belly will be, and that this one won’t be tangled up in this shit world.” His mouth twisted. “I was a kid when I went to Aidan, Junior at my side. We were both cocky pieces of shit when we told him we were ready to enlist.” He scoffed. “Enlist. Like it’s something to be proud of. Like it’s the military.”
“You were raised believing it was something to be proud of.” Curious, because we didn’t often talk about stuff like this, I studied him.
Life got in the way.
He talked about business deals and directors who had pissed him off. I spoke about the bakery and Jake and Jen and just, well, life stuff.
“I was.” Bitterly, he derided himself, “Proud. Can you imagine?”
“It was different when you were a kid, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” he agreed. “The Five Points exploded in the late eighties when Aidan started Acuig.
“Suddenly, he had legitimate means of laundering his dirty money. It’s taken nearly thirty years to get to this point, but when I moved in with them, they were rich but not like this. Not like today.”
“That’s a big change in a generation.”
“It is. I’d like to think Conor and I were pivotal to that. Aidan started Acuig, and he had some direction, but his mind isn’t business-oriented. Well, not regular business, at any rate.
“We steered things down this road, and maybe, just maybe, we can make it so that—”
I squeezed his hand. “So that, what, baby?”
“I don’t know.” He closed his eyes, and suddenly, his fatigue leached into his expression, revealing a bone deep weariness that I knew no amount of sleep would ever ease.
“You do,” I chided.
He released a soft breath. “The Five Points aren’t going anywhere. It’s not going to happen. Wishing otherwise is a pipe dream. But it doesn’t have to work how it does now.”
“Not if Junior’s in charge. I can’t see him letting his son pick up a gun at fourteen—”
“It isn’t the gun that’s the problem. I want Jake to be able to shoot, to defend himself. It’s what he does with it that’s the issue. Hanging around street corners like a gangbanger…” Finn sighed. “I don’t want that for my boy.”
“Me either.” My fingers found his wedding ring, and I rubbed it. “You’ve got time, baby.”
“Not enough of it. Twelve years? Is that enough to change things?”
“Think about twelve years ago,” I suggested. “iPods were a massive deal, TikTok didn’t exist, and eBay was hot shit.”
“True.” He grinned, and for some reason, that seemed to cheer him up. “Do you want something to eat?”
“Is that instead of talking about this? Because we can talk some more—”
He shook his head. “I’d prefer to eat with my family. What will be will be, but I’ll bust my ass to make sure Jake has options.”
I was choked up as I rasped, “And I love you for that.”
“Sweetheart,” he breathed. “You should hate me for—”
“I could never hate you. Ever,” I insisted. “Get that out of your head.”
His lips curved, but there was a sadness to that smile that hurt my heart.
Despite having a great evening with Lena, and the following day, celebrating Declan and Aela’s nuptials in the private room in the museum with a Vermeer watching over the ceremony, that sadness remained in Finn’s eyes.