“You are my business, Aoife,” I rumbled huskily, staring down into those eyes that used to look at me like I set the stars in the fucking night sky and now looked at me as if I were a stranger. “That you could put yourself at risk when Jake and I can’t function without you—”
“I did what I thought was right.”
And that was what terrified me.
How could she think that path was the right one?
Mouth tight, I informed her, “I’m getting a vasectomy this week.”
Her eyes flared wide. “You wouldn’t do that. Jake’s not supposed to be an only child!”
“No, baby, this proves that he is. I’m not putting you through this again. Even if the pregnancy was viable, I’m not watching you suffer for nine more goddamn months.
“Watching you sitting with your back on the floor and your legs against the wall to keep our kid inside you… I won’t let you go through that again. Jake is our blessing. We need to accept that and move on.”
“If you have a vasectomy, Finn, I will file for a divorce.”
I’d set the gauntlet down.
She’d just picked it back up and she’d slapped me in the fucking face with it.
For a second, her words throbbed throughout the room, and as I stared down at her, seeing the tears in her eyes, but the otherwise frigid expression on her face, the gaunt cheeks, the shadows beneath her lashes, how her lips were colorless, how her shirt hung loose on her, I took note of it all and I weighed my words.
I would never let her divorce me.
Ever.
I’d get it tied up in court so fucking fast she’d be stuck with my married name until Jake was eighteen, and by then, I’d have wormed myself into her good graces once again.
There was no way that this was the end of our journey.
There was no way that this was where we threw in the towel.
That didn’t make it any easier to say, “To protect you, there’s nothing I won’t do, Aoife. You want a divorce so badly, then I’ll get you a good attorney.
“Instead of threatening me with something neither of us want, maybe you should realize what you’re asking for—”
Before I could finish, her hand snapped out, and with the stark white fading beneath the bright spots of cherry on her cheeks, I knew she’d been about to slap me.
Not allowing her to let her outrage wither away at her control, I caught her wrist.
“I took that from you before, Aoife. I deserved it. I do not deserve it now. You will not lay another hand on me in anger, just as I would never dream of treating you in that way.”
She dragged her hand out of mine and held it to her chest as if it were red hot.
Guilt flickered in her eyes, and she whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“You did mean to,” I said coldly, watching the heat of her shame burn color into her cheeks. “And you know why? Because giving up on us is enough to make you violent. Just like it is with me. You think I’m not furious that you’d threaten me with a divorce? You’d be wrong.
“You do not get to give up on us,” I bit off, “and you do not get to use our family planning as an excuse to break us apart when having another child could kill you.”
Hope stirred in my chest when she didn’t interrupt me.
Praying that she realized I was right, I made to continue, but I heard the buzz from the elevator, and it stopped me in my tracks.
It was too early for Paddy, and the doorman had a list of faces who were permitted to enter.
Still, concerned, I backed away from her, watching her nurse her hand like it was a foreign entity, before I turned toward the door then strode down the hall.
My brows rose when I saw Jen, Aoife’s best friend, standing in the elevator.
While she was on the list, it was still unexpected to see her, especially this Jen.
She was… happy?
“Jen?”
She frowned at me. “Yeah? I’m Jen. Is it that long since you’ve seen me that you don’t remember what I look like?”
“No.”
“Then?” she asked grouchily when I carried on looking at her. “What’s the problem?”
Jen had that pouty look of constant dissatisfaction about her. She was a bitch, but Aoife loved her, so did Jake, and truth be told, she was good fun when she let her hair down.
But that was why I was staring.
The pouty look of constant dissatisfaction was no more.
“There’s no problem,” I countered gruffly. “You just look… happy.”
“Did I look constipated before or something?”
“Maybe. You just look different.”
“Is that Jen?” Aoife called out before she stepped into the hall.
Twisting back to look at her, I saw she studiously ignored me as she moved toward Jen.
It seemed her friend picked up on the atmosphere because Jen hovered there awkwardly before she blurted, “You freezing me out, Eef, is a low blow.”
Aoife stilled then whispered, “I was just going through some stuff.”
I almost snorted at that understatement.
“Yeah, well, you don’t cut out your BFF, bitch.”
My temper flared. “Watch it, Jen.” I growled the warning.
“It’s okay, Finn. She’s right.” Aoife’s chin tipped up. “I’ve been ignoring everyone.”
“I’m not ‘everyone.’”
“Agreed. Do you want some cake? I made some for a guest who’s coming over this afternoon.”
“Oh, shit. That’s who the doorman thought was coming over, right? I figured he wouldn’t let me up—”
“I didn’t put a block on you coming up, Jen—”
She wasn’t to know that I had.
“—jeez, I just didn’t feel like talking.” Her smile was wan. “I still don’t feel like it, but I have to get on with life, right?”
Where the hell she got that idea from, I had no idea.
In no way, shape, or form was I encouraging her to ‘get on with life.’ Not when getting out of bed in the morning was hard as fuck for me, and I hadn’t gone through the physical torment that she had.
I frowned. “No. You take it as slow as you want.”
I just wanted her to fucking eat and get some sleep.
“Flopping around the apartment crying isn’t getting me anywhere.” She wafted a hand at Jen, answering me while somehow acting as if I weren’t there. “Come on, let’s eat. Padraig is coming to see Jake and Finn.”
“That’s not true. I’m sure he wants to get to know you too,” I argued, but again, she ignored me, retreating to the kitchen as Jen followed her.
With my concerned gaze clinging to my wife, I hovered outside the kitchen, wanting to give them privacy but needing to monitor the situation.
I watched Jen plunk the gift bags I finally noticed she was carrying onto the counter, then she took me by surprise because Jen wasn’t exactly affectionate, and she moved over to Aoife. She gave her a hug from behind, and when Aoife stiffened, I had to admit that relief washed through me.
She was pulling away from everyone, not just me.
Then, I realized what a jackass that made me for being relieved. Throwing away the negative shit, I wished to hell that she’d spin around and take comfort in her friend.