“My lucky penny!” Hallie dove for it, reaching under the dresser where it had rolled. “I forgot I put it in the hole in Rupert’s belly last night!”
“I get a point back for finding it.” I took the comb from Luna’s hand and started working through the tangles from the bottom.
“I don’t know if that counts as finding it,” said Hallie, “but okay.”
“So ten out of ten for today?”
“I guess,” she said, like she was doing me a favor.
I pumped my fist. “Fuck yeah.”
“That’s another dollar, Daddy,” Luna said. “Remember the swear jar.”
“There’s no way I’m having a swear jar in this house, girls. I’ll go broke.”
“Or maybe you’ll stop swearing,” Hallie said.
I leveled her with a look. “Not. Fucking. Likely.”
But later on, when I went into the kitchen to grab my keys, I noticed one of the girls—or maybe both of them—had taken the cupcake box out of the fridge while I was in the shower and written on top of it DADDYS SWAIR BOX (MONEY FOR FUCHUR CAT).
I peeked inside and saw that at least they’d left the cupcakes in the fridge. Shaking my head, I closed it up again.
I could say one thing for them—when they got an idea in their head, they did not let it go.
Five
Winnie
I texted Ellie and told her I was running late and not to pick me up until fifteen minutes after seven.
It was a lie, but I knew Dex and the girls would be gone by then, and I couldn’t risk running into them outside.
I was mortified by what had happened earlier.
Mortified and sore—I had a bruise on my ass the size of Texas.
When I saw her pull up, I said one last prayer I could make it to her car unseen, pulled my straw beach hat lower on my head, put on my darkest sunglasses, and opened the front door. When I was sure the coast was clear, I yanked it shut behind me and dashed for her white Honda without lifting my chin from my chest.
Throwing myself into the passenger seat, I pulled the door shut and hunched down. “Twenty-four Maple Lane! And step on it!”
“Calm down, we’re not even that late. And why are you wearing that hat?”
“I’ll explain in a minute.” I winced as I shifted on the seat to buckle my seatbelt. “Ouch.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m injured.”
“From what?”
I slunk down farther in the seat. “Just drive, okay? I’ll tell you about it once we’re out of the parking lot.”
She did as I asked. “Okay, we’re out of the lot. Now what the hell happened?”
I lifted my head up just enough to peer out the passenger window. Satisfied I’d made my escape, I sat up straight. “I fell off a suitcase.”
“Why were you on a suitcase?”
“I was trying to disconnect the ridiculously sensitive smoke detector in my bedroom, which goes off sometimes when I take a shower because of the steam.”
“Don’t you have a stepladder?”
“It was downstairs, and I was naked and soaking wet.”
She laughed. “Oh, you’d already gotten in the shower?”
“Yes.” I took off the hat, tossed it in the back seat, and fluffed my hair. “But I haven’t even gotten to the worst part yet.”
“Worse than falling off the suitcase?”
“Much worse.” I shuddered. “Dex saw it happen.”
“Who’s Dex?”
“My new neighbor.”
“The hot firefighter?” Her voice rose in surprise.
“Yes.” I pictured him standing there in my bedroom doorway, his dark eyes on my naked body, his jaw practically on his chest.
“And why was he in your bedroom?”
“Apparently he heard the smoke alarm through the wall and came to see if I was okay.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus. Why didn’t you grab a towel?”
“I did! But it was more like a hand towel.”
Ellie laughed. “So he could see—”
“Everything,” I confirmed, slinking down in my seat again. “He saw everything. They all did.”
“Who’s they?”
“His little girls were there too.”
“Well, so what?” Ellie shrugged. “He’s a first responder. That’s practically like a doctor, Win. Those guys are used to that stuff. And his daughters are just kids.”
“There’s more.”
We pulled up at a red light and she looked over at me. “More?”
“After I went down on my ass, hand towel flying, all my bits on display, I was so desperate to get to safety that I crawled to the bathroom.”
Ellie burst out laughing, banging the heel of one hand on the steering wheel. “Just like stop, drop, and roll! I bet he was impressed!”
“Stop making fun of me, this is serious! I’ve never been so traumatized in my entire life. I have to move now.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake—you do not have to move, Winnie.” The light turned green and we moved forward again. “The guy was probably just as embarrassed as you were.”
“Maybe. But he’s gotta think I’m a total idiot. After I barricaded myself in the bathroom, he stayed for a minute to reconnect the alarm and ask if I was okay.” I cringed and shook my head. “I just kept saying, ‘I’m fine!’ like a crazy parrot and wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.”
“Stop being so dramatic. So the guy saw you naked—who cares?”
“Naked and crawling on the floor,” I reminded her.
“Fine. Naked and crawling on the floor. It’s traumatizing right now, but it’s a great story and someday you guys will be able to laugh about it.”
“Like you’re able to laugh about finding the box of sex toys under your parents’ bed when you were sixteen?”
“NO. That was a whole other level of trauma.” Ellie shuddered. “I can’t even believe you just brought that up.”
“Oh, come on. It was funny.”
“Winnie, there was a whip in that box! And a blindfold!”
“I know.” Distracted for a moment, I shook my head. “I still can’t imagine your parents—”
“Please stop talking.”
I laughed. “Sorry.”
“I wonder if he went home and told his wife he just saw the new neighbor lady naked.”
“Oh! Turns out, there is no wife.”
She glanced at me. “I thought you saw her.”
“That was his sister. He’s a single dad—only two of those kids were his. Hallie and Luna.” I cringed again. “The ones who saw me naked.”
“A hot single dad, huh?” Ellie was clearly intrigued. “And he’s right next door. Imagine that.”
“Actually, I don’t know that he’s single. Just that he’s not married. He might have a girlfriend.”
“And he might not.”
“Don’t get any ideas,” I told her, even though I’d already had plenty of ideas about the hot single dad next door, who’d only moved in like six hours ago.