I shook my head. “No way.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m off men, remember?”
“You’re off relationships. You’re off falling in love. You don’t have to be off the fun stuff.”
“That’s not what you said the other day,” I reminded her. “You said I couldn’t handle doing the fun stuff without falling for him.”
“Well, I changed my mind. I think this could be good for you. A test of sorts. You can prove to yourself—and to me—that it’s entirely possible to mess around with someone without falling in love with him. A sort of neighbors-with-benefits arrangement.”
“Won’t that mean I’ve lost the bet?”
“No. As long as you keep things casual, you haven’t lost.” She hesitated. “But if you can’t keep your feelings out of it, then don’t do it.”
“I think I can,” I said. “I mean, it’s not like I’m in danger of mistaking his intentions. I know exactly how he feels. Love would never even enter the picture. It would just be for fun. A good time.”
“There you go.”
“I’d still be independent.”
“Exactly, you’re just adding a dick and some orgasms.”
Laughing, I fidgeted nervously on my chair. “But how do I let him know that I’m up for it? I’ve never made the first move before.”
“Easy.” She snapped her fingers. “Get naked and set off your smoke alarm.”
I set my glass down and pulled out my laptop. “Very funny.”
“Just go out on the patio when you get home tonight,” she said with a shrug. “If he’s out there again, he’s definitely into you, and you should be brave and make a move. Sit in his lap.”
“I’ll think about it. Now let’s get some work done—I talked to Henry, and he’s totally cool with whatever we want to do. I also spoke with our chef briefly today, and she’s got some great ideas. What do you think about bourbon braised pork belly?”
We went over the ideas for each course, and Ellie took notes on what wines from each vineyard she thought would pair well with every dish. At one point, her mom and dad came in and said hello, offered a couple suggestions, and said how happy they were about the event.
We talked about how many tickets we should sell in order to keep it intimate, and what our roles would be that evening. Both of us agreed we wanted to keep it small and exclusive, a little pricier than we were comfortable with but not so expensive it was prohibitive. Ellie would talk about the wines, I’d talk about the food, and we’d oversee the servers together.
“I wonder if we could do it outside in mid-October,” Ellie said. “Do you guys have a tent? Some heaters?”
“We have a tent for the stone patio that overlooks the vineyard. We had to use it a couple times this summer because of rain. But I don’t know about heaters,” I said, making a note. “I’ll find out.”
“Why don’t I come by Cloverleigh tomorrow and we can scout out some possible locations?”
“Sounds good,” I said, pulling up my calendar. “I have a meeting with Millie at ten and then I’m at the front desk after lunch.”
Ellie checked her phone. “I don’t have any tastings until two. I’ll come around eleven?”
“Perfect.”
On the drive home, Dex refused to leave my mind. Could I really seduce him? What if he turned me down? What if he laughed at me? What if I made things so awkward between us we could never look each other in the eye again? Was it worth the risk?
Was I confident enough in myself to go after a man like Dex?
A man with experience. A man who looked at me and saw a young, innocent girl. A man who’d made my nipples hard with a look and a glass bottle.
My pulse quickened as I turned into my driveway and looked at the darkened windows of his place. It was after nine. Was he in bed already?
“I’ll just go out on the patio for one minute,” I said as I pulled into the garage. “If he’s not there, that’s that. If he is, that will be a sign from the universe that Ellie is right and I need to be brave.”
I let myself into the house and gave Piglet some love, warily eyeing the glass door to the patio. After giving her a snack, I went upstairs to change.
Brave would be easier in a cute dress.
And sexy underwear.
Twelve
Dex
The number of times today I’d thought about rubbing that beer bottle on Winnie’s lips last night was obscene.
Fuck, it was obscene that I’d done it.
Even more obscene that I’d gotten into bed and jerked off afterward, fantasizing my cock was that bottle.
I’d been mad at myself all day. I’d gone over there to fucking apologize for being a dick, and somehow I’d ended up being one again, even without putting my hands on her or saying a goddamn thing.
And what the hell was I doing out here on the patio again?
What, argued a voice in my head. Can’t a guy have a beer on his patio without feeling guilty about it?
I frowned. Sure, he could. But why did I keep thinking about her? Glancing over toward her place? Listening for her to come home after work?
It was late—where was she? Meeting some selfish prick for dinner or drinks? Would she bring him back here and share a cupcake with him ten feet from me?
Don’t mind him, I imagined her saying to some twenty-five-year-old pin-dick fuckwit who owned a Rolex and multiple pairs of plaid shorts. That’s just the grouchy old man next door. He’s harmless.
I took another long swallow to wash down the jealousy. I’ll finish this beer, I told myself, and if she doesn’t come out here, I’ll go inside and forget about her for good.
Realistically, I knew I’d probably go in and get myself off thinking about her again, but whatever.
A moment later, the light came on in her place, her sliding door opened, and she stepped outside holding a plastic pitcher. After closing the door behind her, she began to water her plants. She wore a dress tonight, something short and flowery with skinny straps that showed off her shoulders, and her hair was up. Her feet were bare, and I wondered if she’d taken off her high heels after a date.
“Hey,” I said, standing up from my chair.
“Oh, hey,” she said, giggling nervously. “I didn’t see you there.”
“We need to stop meeting like this,” I joked.
“Nah. It’s always a nice surprise.” She gave me a smile that tightened my chest. “How was your day?”
“Good. How was yours? Any double bookings?”
“No, thank heavens. It was a perfectly boring day at reception.”
“Glad to hear it.” I leaned against the brick wall. “Do you always work this late?”
“No, I’m not coming from work just now. I was at Abelard meeting with my friend Ellie about an event we’re planning together. I’m really excited about it.”
“Tell me,” I said, happy she hadn’t been out with a guy.
She laughed nervously as she emptied the pitcher. “You don’t want to hear about that.”