“It feels like that to me at times, too. I can’t believe this beautiful, amazing girl is in my life. That she loves me. I’m one lucky fucker.” He stroked his thumb over my bottom lip. “But understand this, little lamb. There is nothing that will come between us. I love you, Doe. I won’t let anything or anyone take you away from me.”
I melted into him all over again. “Okay, but I really do have to tell you about how I know Hazel.”
“Pixie,” he corrected. “She hates being called Hazel. Her mom was the only one to ever use that, and she hated her mom. That hag treated her and Tyler like pure shit. Their mom is why my brother turned to drugs in the first place.”
From the pain in his eyes, I could tell there was a lot more to the story about how he’d met Pixie, but I could wait to hear it. I’d put off telling him about my live donor plans for long enough. Maybe if I hadn’t kept him in the dark, the misunderstanding this morning wouldn’t have happened.
“I only know her as Dr. Contreras’s patient, Hazel Darby, and if she hadn’t asked if she could meet me, I probably wouldn’t know that much.” I felt him turn to ice, and when I met his eyes, I saw fear shining out of them. I cupped his face and quickly continued. “She was just matched to a bone marrow donor, right?”
“Yes,” he rasped out, his eyes trapped on my face. I could almost read his thoughts. He was terrified that I was sick just like Pixie.
“That’s me, Jenner.”
“What?” he breathed, relief and confusion filling his eyes.
“I don’t know if you knew this, but my mom had leukemia when she was a teenager. She was on the registry for a long, long time, but it was only when Dad and Uncle Liam made a public plea that a donor was found. A fan got tested and was a match. She saved my mother’s life.” I stroked my fingers over the stubble on his jaw. “A few years ago, when Uncle Drake had his liver transplant, I started looking into how to become a living donor. And because I wanted to do something to honor my mom, I thought the best way would be to become a bone marrow donor.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he choked out.
“Last Monday, I went in for the testing and physical, and I found out I was a match a few days ago. When Dr. Contreras told me about the patient, he said that Hazel—or rather, your Pixie—wanted to meet me. He gave me her name, but only because Pixie told him that he could. He didn’t break any HIPAA laws,” I rushed to assure him in case he got upset about the doctor handing out personal information about his sister.
“Doe…” He shook his head, his throat bobbing up and down hard. “I’m a little overwhelmed right now, baby. This is the miracle Pixie needs. It still isn’t even a full guarantee that it will actually work. But we’ve been hoping for a match. Anything, as long as it gives her a chance, ya know?”
Blinking back tears, I nodded. Dad rarely talked about Mom’s childhood illness, and any time Uncle Liam mentioned it, he got this haunted look in his eyes. They’d nearly lost her. I could only imagine what Jenner must have been feeling.
He leaned his head back against the couch and blew out a heavy sigh. “But to know it’s you, and knowing what you will have to go through to make this happen… I’m torn. I don’t want to put you through that. It scares me that you’re going to have to go under general anesthesia, and then they will be drilling into your bones, sucking out your bone marrow. The rational part of my brain tells me that it’s a common procedure, that Pixie has to have this or I’ll lose her. But all I can think about are the possible complications and risks you will be taking.” Tears glazed his eyes, but he didn’t try to hide them from me. “I could lose you.”
“You aren’t going to lose me,” I told him firmly, stroking a finger down his nose playfully. “Like you said, it’s a common procedure. And Dr. Contreras is one of the best in his field. I’ll be perfectly safe in his hands.”
“But—”
Not wanting to hear his arguments, I kissed him. When my tongue brushed over the tip of his, I heard his sharp inhale, and I deepened the kiss, wanting to drown in his taste.
“Yeah, fuck you, Jackson.”
I jerked at the volume of Aspen’s voice all of a sudden. Lifting my head, I glanced toward the kitchen. From my friend’s tone, I could feel the anger and even the underlying hurt. My brother was too stupid for his own good at times.
“I said she’s fine. I wouldn’t lie to you, and especially not about Doe’s well-being. Unlike you who couldn’t tell the truth to save his own life.”
Jenner followed my gaze, a deep frown between his brows. “He sounds pissed.”
“He probably is. Jackson brings out the best sides and the worst sides of Aspen.”
“Your mom said something weird that I didn’t really understand. She mentioned she hopes Aspen becomes a part of your family sooner rather than later, if Jackson ever gets his head out of his ass.” He grunted to himself, his hands biting into my flesh. “At the time, all I could think was that you were alone with some guy, and I couldn’t get here fast enough. But now, I’m getting all these weird vibes from you and him, and it makes a little more sense.”
An amused snort left me. “My mom said that?”
“Something along those lines, yeah.”
“Huh, I guess she’s been watching closer than I thought.” Shrugging, I snuggled into him. “Don’t mention any of this to anyone else, okay? My brother still hasn’t officially come out to anyone. Obviously, Mom knows. Probably Dad too. But let’s give him the illusion that he’s still safely in the closet.”
“So, Jackson and Aspen…?”
“Um-hmm,” I confirmed. “But don’t say anything.”
“All your secrets are safe with me, little lamb.” He pressed a kiss to my brow. “But you and Aspen have never—”
“Not ever,” I cut off the question and felt some of his tension ease from his shoulders. “And even if it weren’t for the whole being-crazy-for-my-brother thing, Asp is too much like another brother to me. You don’t have anything to be jealous of.” I grinned up at him. “Although it is sexy as hell when you’re being all jealous and growly.”
19
Jenner
Doe shifted nervously beside me as we rode the elevator to the oncology floor. “Is my hair okay?” she asked for the second time since we’d left Aspen’s apartment. “What about my outfit? Maybe I should have worn something a little dressier.”
Tipping her chin up, I quieted her with a kiss that lasted until the elevator dinged, announcing our arrival. Lifting my head, I kissed the tip of her nose then took her hand. “You look beautiful,” I told her as we exited. “Relax, baby. Pixie is going to love you.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, but she gave a tiny nod. In her free hand, she adjusted the grocery bag full of items her mom had suggested Pixie might like to eat. When Doe had called Marissa to tell her about my sister’s illness and that she was doing her intensive chemo treatments to get ready for the new bone marrow, her mom had suggested the items that had tempted her when she was at her sickest and weakest.