“Would you like a glass of water, Lieutenant?” the second lieutenant asked her, and she shook her head. What difference would water make? Her brother was dead. “Would you like us to call someone? One of the nurses in your unit?” They were clearly worried about her. They had woken her in the middle of the night to drop a bomb on her.
“Do my parents know?” was all she could think of to say.
“Yes, they were advised several hours ago.”
“Can I call them?”
“That can be arranged,” the captain said quietly, as he watched the force of his words sink in. He had done this too often in recent months. “You could call them now, if you like. It’s just after seven p.m. in Boston.”
“Yes, I’d like that,” she said in a small voice, and he went to the barracks office to arrange it. They had her parents’ number. They were listed as her next of kin too. The captain came back five minutes later.
“We’re going to put the call through now. You can have the office to yourself for as long as you need it.”
“Thank you,” she said in barely more than a whisper, and followed him to the barracks office. The captain spoke into the phone, they connected the line, and he handed her the phone and left the room. Her father had answered the phone and he was crying.
“Daddy? Daddy? Are you and Mom okay? They just told me…oh I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry…and I can’t even come home to be with you. They said it’s too dangerous right now.”
“We don’t want you to come home. We don’t want anything to happen to you too.” The devastation in his voice was so complete that it made her stronger to try and help him. Her mother sounded even worse when she got on. They talked for twenty minutes and the three of them sobbed the whole time. He had been trying to help get patients to safety after the first planes attacked. It was unthinkable. Lizzie couldn’t imagine a world without Greg in it, nor could her parents.
When they finally hung up, and she left the office, she saw that both officers were still waiting for her. She thanked them, and they told her again how sorry they were, then she went upstairs in a daze, her head throbbing after crying so hard. Audrey was still awake, waiting for her, when Lizzie got back to their room. And she knew the minute she saw Lizzie’s face. They sat on Lizzie’s bed. Audrey took Lizzie in her arms and held her as Lizzie rocked back and forth. Lizzie couldn’t even find words for what she was feeling, but Audrey knew. It was how she had felt when Will was killed at Pearl Harbor. And now Lizzie had lost her big brother too. It was one more tie to bind them, and such a terrible one.
Lizzie cried until she had no more tears and then lay down on her bed. Audrey made a cup of tea for her and handed it to her, and Lizzie sipped it. It was two in the morning by then, and Lizzie kept thinking of her parents, and how heartbroken they were. She had never heard her father cry before, and he had cried like a child.
“Now what do I do?” Lizzie asked Audrey as she looked at her. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t even go to his funeral. The captain said it’s too dangerous, and Dad said they don’t want me to. I have to stay here. They said I could take time off, but what’ll I do? I’d rather go to work.” Then she could pretend it hadn’t happened, but it had. It was all too real. She wished she could talk to Henry too, but he was in the Solomon Islands and she had no way to reach him. He was in the jungle somewhere. She knew he would be devastated too.
She lay there wide-awake for two more hours, and Audrey stayed awake with her. Then Lizzie got up and started to dress in her flight suit.
“You don’t need to go to work,” Audrey told her gently. Lizzie looked disheveled and confused, but she seemed lucid.
“I can’t stay in bed all day. I’ll go crazy thinking of him, and my dad crying. If I go to work, I’ll have to keep it together. Maybe that’s better.”
“Whatever feels right to you,” Audrey told her.
“Nothing feels right. My brother is dead. I’ll never see him again.”
“I know,” Audrey said sadly. She’d been through it with her own brother: the shock, the void, the agony, the missing him for months, and even years. “Are you sure you want to fly today?”
“I don’t know what else to do. Maybe I can help someone else.” Audrey had to fly that morning too. They both got dressed, and Audrey did whatever she could to help her friend. She almost dressed Lizzie. Lizzie had put on her flight overalls, and her hair didn’t look as tidy as usual, but it was less noticeable under her cap. She laced up her combat boots, and she and Audrey left a few minutes later. Audrey stayed with her until she had to report for her own flight, and she watched Lizzie head up the ladder of the C-47 Skytrain with a heavy heart.
Pru, Charlie, and Ed were already on board when she got there, and both pilots were in the cockpit. Reggie had already started the engines, but they had another twenty minutes to spare before they left. Lizzie didn’t speak to anyone and sat down quietly in her usual jump seat. Ed looked at Pru with a question in his eyes, and she shook her head. A few minutes later, he spoke to Pru in a whisper.
“Is she okay? She looks sick, or like she’s been on a three-week drunk.”
“As far as I know.” Lizzie was usually chatty when she came on board and inquired about their mission. But her eyes looked dead when she got up, and she stood alone in the supply closet for a minute to compose herself. Ed couldn’t help himself. He followed her, slipped in, and looked down at her with a worried expression.
“Are you okay, Liz? You don’t have to fly today if you’re feeling under the weather.” He didn’t want to pry, and she didn’t answer him at first when her eyes met his.
“I need to fly today. We have a job to do.” Her voice didn’t sound like her.
“If you’re sure…” he said and was about to leave when her words stopped him in his tracks.
“My brother Greg died yesterday. They came to tell me at midnight last night. He was a doctor. The hospital where he was working was strafed by Japanese fighter pilots and he was killed.” She stood still like a statue, for a minute, and without saying a word, he took her in his arms and held her as she shook with silent sobs, and he clung to her as tightly as he could. There was nothing he could say to her. They had all been through it before, or most of them had. All he could do was be there. She clutched him as though she would drown if she didn’t.
“I’m sorry, Lizzie…so sorry. Do you want to go back to the barracks?” he whispered. “I can have someone drive you back.” She shook her head vehemently and looked up at him.
“I want to be with you, and I need to work.” She knew it was the only thing that would keep her sane, and she realized that she wanted to be with him. She knew he understood, just as Audrey did. He brought her a cloth dipped in cool water and she put it on her face and held it there for a minute. Then she dropped it in a bucket and nodded at him, and he gently led her back to her seat where she strapped herself in. Pru looked at him questioningly when he took his own seat, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly and she understood. It was a look that they all understood, one that said the worst had happened. She didn’t know who, but she could guess what. Lizzie’s world had been blown to bits for the second time in less than two and a half years. It was a cruel turn of fate. The cruelest.