“I couldn’t understand at first why this was such a controversial book,” Marty added. “I mean, what’s the big deal about a woman making money? But, when you talked about what society was like at the time, it’s a big deal.”
“Yeah, and how she made it. She became an actress… not exactly an honorable profession then,” Joanne said, rolling her eyes.
“And she slept with men,” another student called out, much to the rolling eyes and amusement of the others.
“Your American History teachers are at the same point we are,” Caitlyn reminded. “What tie-in can you find?”
Another student piped up. “Capitalism! Anyone can earn money, make a living, societal norms are blown out of the water!”
“Some people only look after themselves, not caring about others or society.”
At the last softly spoken words, Caitlyn jerked her head around to see Russ, his face tight. “Okay, Russ,” she prodded gently, “can you explain a little more?”
He looked down at his opened, dog-eared book. “They have no feeling that any result which might flow from their action should concern them… They think only of themselves because they have not yet been taught to think of society.” He looked up and continued, “It goes on to basically say that when they get caught and punished, they don’t make the connection that it’s due to their own misbehavior.”
Nodding slowly, she licked her lips in hesitation of asking him for more considering his face held a multitude of emotions. Deciding to put the question to the class, she asked, “What do the rest of you think of this?”
“It’s saying that some people don’t care what they do as long as they don’t get caught.”
“Hell, that’s like a lot of people I know, my stepfather included!”
The discussion continued until she gave out the next assignment just before the bell rang. As the students filed out of her classroom, she wanted to ask Russ to stay back but didn’t need to. He was already waiting for her after the last student left.
“Ms. McBride, can I talk to you?”
Seeing his face twisted and his eyes flashing, her heart squeezed. “Of course. Let’s sit down.” She led him to the closest desk and settled into the one next to it. “What’s going on?”
His forearms lay on the desktop, fingers gripping together tightly. He opened and closed his mouth several times, the struggle to form words evident.
The desire to take away his pain or at least give him the ability to speak of what halted his words was so strong that she gave up on trying to let him verbalize his thoughts on his own. “Please, Russ, just talk to me. Whatever it is, I’ll help.”
His gaze searched hers, peering deeply, and she remained still, hoping whatever he was looking for, he found.
Finally, he nodded. “I need to talk to someone, but whatever I do, it needs to come from me. So, if I talk to you, will you not go to Griffin?”
She blinked, trying to hide her surprise. She’d never been involved with someone that also knew her student, and the implications of that difficulty were now evident. But, whatever he needed, she’d give. “Okay. I won’t tell Griffin what you tell me, but you have to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help you with whatever you’re struggling with.”
He blew out a long breath, still looking down at his hands. “It’s hard. Money being tight… it’s hard. I used to peek out of my room at night and see Mom at the kitchen table, bills lined up neatly, her checkbook out, and a calculator in front of her. I’d hear her sniffling. I came out once and asked her what was wrong. She looked me in the eye, and I could see the internal debate going on inside of her and it killed me.”
His voice broke a little and he cleared his throat while Caitlyn swallowed deeply to keep her own tears at bay.
“She told me that she would pay a little bit on each bill so that the creditors didn’t shut off our electricity or water, but that she couldn’t pay them all off each month.” He looked up at Caitlyn and said, “I went to bed that night and swore that from then on, I’d do whatever I could to help. I told Mr. Jackson at the grocery store that I was fifteen. If he would hire me, then I’d work for whatever I could. Since he couldn’t hire me officially, then I worked unofficially.”
“What does that mean?”
“Until I turned fifteen, I worked at the grocery store after school and on weekends off the books. He paid me in cash and neither of us reported the arrangement.”
“And your mom?”
His shoulders hefted. “She was upset at first, but Mr. Jackson was nice. I kept up with my schoolwork and still helped with the other kids. And when I handed over my first pay, she cried.” His gaze jumped to hers. “You gotta understand that Mom didn’t want to take my money, but I insisted. So, we agreed. She got part to help with bills, and I saved part for my future. My sister helps, too. As soon as I turned fifteen, he hired me officially, but Mom and I kept the same agreement. Now that my sister works also, she does the same thing. And, of course, now that I work for Griffin, the money is more. Plus, Mom has a raise, so the family needs less, and I put more into the bank.”
“Okay… I’m glad you shared, but so far, I’m not hearing anything concerning.” As the words left her mouth, she wondered if he was going to confess to illegal activity to bring in more money, and her stomach clenched at the thought.
“People think when you need money, you’re willing to do anything. But to me, they’re just like in Sister Carrie. They’re willing to only think of themselves, not what’s right or wrong. That’s not how I was brought up.”
Heart threatening to pound out of her chest, she nodded slowly, hoping to encourage him to keep talking, all the while terrified of what he was going to say.
“I’d been approached by another kid who just said that he was supposed to find someone good to join forces with. I turned him down, but one afternoon, I saw him going into the locker rooms after school. I followed him, and sure enough, he was searching through lockers, looking for stuff. He was confused, nervous, sweating, couldn’t remember where it was supposed to be stowed. I found it but told him I was getting rid of it. He could tell whoever that he never found it. I stuffed it into my backpack. Coming out of there, we saw you. I felt like you could see right through me and right into my backpack. I was fucking scared. If you turned us in and they searched my bag, I was a goner.”
“Oh, my…” she breathed, her voice as shaky as her hands. “What did you do?”
“I got to the nearest men’s room down the hall and pulled out the bag. There was a smaller bag of pills and four bags of white powder. I emptied all the bags into the toilet and flushed them away.”
The implications of what he’d done slammed into her, and she fought to keep from slumping into the floor. With her family’s law enforcement background, it was impossible to keep work discussions out of their conversations. With her brothers, especially Kyle working for the HCPD Drug Task Force, she’d heard tales of informants going missing or turning up dead, gang-related executions, retaliations, and a host of other equally horrific punishments meted out for interfering with the drug-running trade. Questions rushed at her, but before she had a chance to verbalize her tumultuous thoughts, he continued.