With a bit of a laugh, I opened the insulated bag and pulled out the travel mugs and unwrapped the sandwiches. “Tomato soup and cheese toasties,” I explained. I handed him a cup of soup. “I didn’t know what else to put the soup in, so travel mugs will have to do, sorry.”
He sipped it, smiling. “This is perfect, thank you.”
His voice was a little too soft, too warm. Like maybe he was genuinely touched that someone would make him lunch. It tugged at the part of me that liked to cook food for people, to make someone happy with a simple gesture, and I liked the fact my bringing him lunch made him smile like that.
I needed to change the subject.
I took a small bite of my sandwich. “How’s the sign-making going?”
“Oh, good,” he answered with his mouth half full. He covered his mouth with his hand and laughed. “Sorry. This grilled cheese is really good.”
“Key is to do it in a frypan and not a sandwich press. And use butter.”
“Well, it’s worth every calorie.” He sipped the soup, then walked over to a worktable of some kind. He needed both hands to lift up the sign. It was a fair size, like a miniature barn door with panels and Z-shaped bracing. “It’s coming along. I was just giving it a final sanding, then I can paint it. I’ll have to bring it into the house to dry tonight if I want to write on it tomorrow before I hang it. I might have to take Ren up on his offer of some help.”
Ah. Ren from the hardware.
“He seems nice,” I hedged. “And his . . . boyfriend, Hamish.”
I wasn’t sure how he’d react to the boyfriend word. I was about to find out if he’d turn his nose up or roll his eyes, or worse.
“Fiancé, now,” he corrected. “They got engaged last Christmas. Hamish is a nice guy. The odds of meeting another Australian in this small town, huh?”
Well, that was a good reaction, right? To them being gay?
“Yeah, crazy odds. It was nice to hear the accent, to be honest. I don’t hear it much. Though I’m losing mine, or so my folks tell me.”
“Sound pretty Australian to me.”
I shrugged, not sure if I should bring this up. “So, what did you ever do to Hamish?”
His eyes shot to mine. “Why, what did he say?”
“No, nothing,” I replied quickly. “He was very nice and polite. He just seemed a little miffed when you got there.”
The truth was, Hamish’s whole demeanour changed when he first saw Cass. He went from being all smiles and hand gestures to having pursed lips and squinty eyes, and I knew that look. That was the gay equivalent to a hell no.
Cass shook his head dismissively, and he spoke while he packed up a few things. “I dunno. I’ve barely had two conversations with Hamish. But I’ve known Ren since we were in high school. We played football together. Maybe Hamish just doesn’t like me. I dunno.”
He didn’t say anything else for a little while and I wondered if I’d overstepped. I had only been in town for a hot minute. I sipped my cup of soup and Cass sipped his. He frowned, uneasy. “Ren and Hamish are a great couple,” he blurted out. “I’m happy for them, and Ren deserves to be happy. He’s one of the good guys, ya know? Just like his dad. His dad was a good man too.”
Okay, so that was all a little weird.
But he’d called them a couple, blurted it out like he wanted me to know.
I could have very easily told him, right then and there, that I was gay. It was the subject of this conversation. But what would it achieve? I wasn’t staying here. I was doing ten days’ work, getting paid, and moving on.
This was a temporary position, nothing more.
So I didn’t.
“The joys of a small town,” I said instead. “Knowing everyone’s family, like Ren’s dad. Can’t say I ever really had that growing up in Melbourne. Have you always lived in Hartbridge?”
“Nah, I moved to Billings for a while. Straight out of school, actually, then came back when I took this place on.”
“Nice.” I began to pack up our mess from lunch when I noticed one of the pieces of paper on the wooden shelf was another to-do list.
The list was shorter, with some crossed out, some ticked. It seemed like a good distraction. “The list on the fridge looks different to this one,” I said, aiming for a smile.
He seemed embarrassed. He ran his hand through his hair and shifted his weight. “I, uh, I write lists. For most things.”
“Same. I love lists.”
He smiled. “Well, I start them but then I put the list down and I forget them. Then I have to make another one. And I start to do the things on the list, because there’s a hundred things that need to be done, and then I find something else that needs to be done and I get side-tracked doing something else, and the first thing I was doing ends up half done. And then the next thing. And the next.”
I’d already guessed that much, not that I let on.
“And you’ll probably find these lists all over the place. It’s a habit.”
I chuckled. “Easily distracted.”
“Yep. And a to-do list that doesn’t stop growing.”
I finished my cup of soup and put the cup in the bag. “Well, you’ve accomplished a lot. But I better let you get back to your sign-making. I’m gonna take you up on that offer of a shower and get unpacked.”
Cass shoved his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. “Okay then. I’ll, um, thanks again for lunch. It was mighty kind of you.”
I took the bag and his mug. “You’re welcome.”
I couldn’t be sure because the lighting in the barn wasn’t great, but I was pretty sure he blushed.
Well, that was unexpected.
Chapter Four
Cass
Painting the sign wasn’t exactly easy when I was thinking about Jayden being in the shower. It was hardly fair, and not very boss-like, for me to be having such thoughts about him.
But he was cute.
And very kind.
He’d thought to make some lunch for me as well, and he brought it out into the cold and ate with me.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something like that for me.
I’d been alone a long time, and I missed that thoughtfulness, wanting to do something for someone else just to see them smile.
Not saying Jayden made me lunch so he could see me smile.
But it was nice of him, nonetheless.
And lawd ha’ mercy, I almost told him I was gay. When we were talking about Ren and Hamish. The point of conversation was right there. I could have said it. I probably should have. Jayden certainly didn’t seem the type to have an issue with it—he knew Ren and Hamish were together and didn’t seem to care—but I’d known the guy for all of five minutes. And what was he supposed to do with that information, anyway?
The words were on my tongue, but I’d swallowed them down with my courage.
I’d never told anyone before.
Well, aside from Kendra, my now ex-wife. And my parents.
But I’d never said it to anyone else.
Not out loud.
I wasn’t ready. Almost three years after that awful conversation with Kendra, where I’d realised I couldn’t lie to her anymore, and then when I’d explained to my parents the reason for my broken marriage . . . Those were the only times I’d ever told anyone that I was gay.