“Yeah.” He sighs. “Let’s get dinner on. Hopefully some food will cheer everyone up.”
For the next hour, I help him get dinner ready over the fire as each couple works on setting up their tent, and I’m proud as fuck to see Cybil is keeping up with everyone else, even on her own. When she finishes, all the other couples have already gathered around the fire and are starting to eat.
I want to pull her into my arms when she walks over to join us, and it pisses me off that I can’t.
“I’m not sure our tent will make it through the night, partner,” she tells me quietly as she takes the bowl I hold out to her.
“That’s okay. I prefer sleeping under the stars anyway.” At my statement, her eyes drift up to meet mine. “I’m fucking proud of you, sunshine.”
“Thank you.” She drops her gaze to my mouth, and my fingers clench into fists. Every fucking time she does that, it takes all my willpower not to tangle my hand in her hair, tip her head back, and kiss her like I know she wants—like both of us want.
“You need to eat,” I order softly, and she rubs her lips together before nodding and taking a seat on the log behind us. Sitting next to her, I dig into my bowl of stew, while she eats some broccoli cheddar soup that smelled delicious as I was heating it up. When we both finish, I take our bowls and dump them in the cooler on the back of the four-wheeler, then grab a plate of chicken and corn for myself and the single-size pizza loaded with roasted vegetables for her.
“I don’t know who your guys’ chef is, but I want to take them home with me,” she tells me after she finishes off half her pizza.
“That would be Blake’s mom, Janet.” I smile as she rubs her stomach. “When we started running guided trips, she told us that if we wanted to be successful, we needed to offer five-star meals for clients to enjoy at the end of each day. We thought she didn’t know what she was talking about, but we’ve had a lot of people come back just because of the food.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. The meals would be one of the reasons I would want to come back.”
“What are the other reasons?” I ask curiously.
“Honestly, everything. I didn’t think I would enjoy this trip, but it’s actually been fun trying new things and pushing myself. Plus, you’re not so bad to hang out with.”
“Good to know.” I chuckle, and she bounces her shoulder off mine. “Are you done eating?” I ask, eyeing what’s left of her pizza, and she laughs.
“You want my leftovers, don’t you?”
“I’ve always been a guy who enjoys meat, but every time you get your food, all I can think is I’m missing out.”
“You are. Vegetables are delicious.” She passes me her plate, and I take a large bite and groan in approval. “Told you so.”
“What made you become a vegetarian?” I ask, knowing she implied she didn’t always avoid eating meat as I take another bite.
Her eyes wander from mine, and she takes a deep breath. “My mom got cancer and wanted to do everything right, so she started eating a strict vegan diet. I wasn’t as disciplined as her, but I never loved meat, so I just stopped eating it. Which made it easier when she was cooking. I guess it just kind of stuck.”
“Is your mom okay now?” I ask softly, and she shakes her head.
“She passed away when I was fifteen. She fought for six years before she couldn’t fight anymore.”
“Jesus, Cybil.” I wrap my arms around her shoulders when I see her eyes start to water, and she burrows her face in my chest. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.” She sniffles and pulls away, wiping her cheeks. “I don’t know why I’m crying right now. I think I’m just really tired.”
I’m sure she is tired, but as she avoids looking at me, I wonder if she’s really dealt with the loss of her mom or if she’s tucked the pain away and built up walls around it to keep from facing what she went through. From experience, I know it seems easier to evade the past when it’s painful, but fuck if those doors you think are locked don’t have a way of opening up when you least expect.
“You should go try to sleep.”
“Yeah.” She stands and glances through me. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, sunshine,” I say quietly, watching her say good night to everyone else before she heads for our tent. After I watch her disappear, I get up and take our plates to the back of the four-wheeler, then help Blake load up and send him on his way.
After making sure that camp is secure and the campfire is out, I lie in my sleeping bag and listen to Cybil breathe. Just as I’m beginning to drift off, she rolls in her sleeping bag toward me and presses into my side, just like she did last night. For a long moment, I don’t move, not even taking a breath.
I should wake her up. I know I should put distance between us, but just like last night, I wait until I know she won’t wake up, then curl around her. I fall asleep, enjoying every fucking second of having her close.
Chapter 8
CYBIL
“Cybil.”
When I hear my name, my eyes flutter open, and I frown when I see Tanner leaning over me, fully dressed and wearing a headlamp similar to the one I have.
“Is everything okay?” I look around, noticing it’s still mostly dark, the beige tent letting through just a glimmer of early-morning light.
“Yeah, I have something to show you. Get dressed and meet me outside.”
“Are you going to take me into the woods to murder me before everyone else wakes up?”
“No.” He grins. “Come on. You gotta hurry up, and don’t forget your camera and headlamp.”
“Okay,” I agree as curiosity and excitement make my pulse quicken. I unzip my bag and climb out as he leaves the tent. It takes me less than five minutes to get dressed in a pair of leggings, a long sweater with my vest over it, boots, and my knit cap. When I get outside, I find Tanner waiting for me with a thermos in one hand.
“Come on, sunshine,” he whispers again, holding out his hand for me to take, and the moment our palms connect, a tingle travels down my spine and my stomach flutters.
“Where are we going?” I ask quietly as we walk through the woods with the canopy of trees above us, making it seem darker than it is.
“You’ll see when we get there.” He gives my fingers a squeeze, and we walk in comfortable silence until I notice that the trees off in the distance open up. As we get closer, I hear the sound of running water and can see the yellow sky above the range. “I found this place during the first trip I guided, and since then, I’ve been back at least a dozen times,” he says quietly as we step out of the trees and onto the bank of a rocky shore at the bottom of a small waterfall that is shooting out the side of the mountain. “I thought you’d like to get some pictures.”
I hold my breath as I take in the beauty all around me, then tip my head back. The sun is coming up, and the stars are fighting to keep their place in the sky for just a little while longer, creating a picture that feels ethereal.
“This is beautiful.”
“It is,” Tanner says softly, and I turn to find him watching me. When I shiver, not from cold but from the look in his eyes, he holds out the thermos he’s been carrying. “I got us some cocoa, but we’ll have to share the cup.”