"I don't believe you."
He laughs. "You are so suspicious. Do your people not believe in the gods anymore?"
"There's only one god!" Not that I'm all that religious, but we mostly agree that there's just one god. I think. "And you ain't him, buddy."
Kassam laughs even harder. The pigeon jumps on his shoulder and nuzzles at his ear, and for a split second, I'm jealous of the pigeon. Clearly I'm insane. Clearly. "No, if you refer to the High Father, I am most definitely not him. I am one of his naughty, naughty sons." The look he gives me is positively wicked. "Some naughtier than others."
"Again, I'm going to have to go with bullshit."
"Take my hand, then. My powers are muted here—"
"Oh, naturally." I roll my eyes. "Of course your powers are muted here."
"—but I can show you a few small things at least." He gets to his feet, pigeon friend still on his shoulder. As I watch, another one flies into my window, looking for him. Did he smear peanut butter on the landing or something? Is that why there's a bird invasion?
I eye the hand Kassam holds out to me. "Dude, you just petted a pigeon. They are hella diseased. I'm not touching you."
"A god cannot get diseases." He thinks for a moment. "Unless you are Kalos of course. Which I am not. If I wash my hands, will you touch me then and let me prove this to you?"
I eye him warily. "Get your birds out of here, too. They don't belong inside."
He nods once, and to my surprise, the birds fly back out the window. Kassam never said a word. Just a coincidence, I tell myself. Nothing more.
Something's definitely wrong with this guy.
5
I desperately need a cup of coffee, and since Kassam has helped himself to all of my grounds (seriously, what the fuck), we head out the door and down to the coffee shop on the corner. It's a place I normally frequent, usually isn't all that busy, and tends to turn a blind eye when I show up in sweatpants and with terrible hair.
Usually.
Today…things are weird. We walk a whole block—far too little for me to bother driving—and by the time we get to the coffee shop, there are people following us. Kassam is barefoot, wearing an old boyfriend's clothing, his long, tangled hair fluttering in the morning breeze, and he looks as if he's thoroughly enjoying himself. He also seems to be oblivious to the crowd we're gathering. People cross the street to stand near him. Random pedestrians follow behind us.
And the damn birds. I've never heard so many birds in my life. Every tree we pass is covered in them in all their chirping, maddening glory.
It just reminds me that Kassam might be who he says he is—a god.
But that's impossible. It makes zero sense. Why is there a god here in Chicago? Why is there a god from another world here on Earth, period? And why does he keep giving me spontaneous orgasms when we touch? Why do people and birds follow behind him like some sort of freaking Disney princess?
I don't get it, but I'm relieved when we step into the cafe and off the street. I want to turn around and go back to my apartment, but I'm a little worried the weirdos will follow us.
There's two people in line at the counter, and we step in behind them. Immediately, a businessman turns around and gives Kassam a broad, seductive smile. "Hello."
Kassam gives him a lazy, assessing look that tells me he's not exactly turning down what this dude is offering.
I pinch the “god” in the side, hard. "Can you turn this shit off for five minutes?"
He leans over toward me. "I cannot. It is my curse."
"Let me guess, you're cursed to be SO beautiful and desirable?" I hiss at him. That sounds like bullshit, even to my salty ass. The line moves up one and the businessman keeps staring at Kassam, lust in his eyes. I snap my fingers in front of his face and point. "Order or get out of line, buddy."
"Right. Apologies," the man says.
I turn back to Kassam. He's not looking at the businessman like he wants to eat him anymore. Now, he's looking at a big glass display of cookies with that same hungry expression. I suppose I should be glad? Instead I pinch his side again. "Hello? What's this about a curse?"
"What are those baked goods?" Kassam asks, fascinated. "Are they tasty?"
"I'll get you one of each if you can answer my questions," I say. He lights up, and I resist the urge to rub my face. At least I found a way to get his attention. "So, for real, what is your curse?"
He leans over even as the man in front of us gets out of line. "I am cursed with hedonism."
"I…oh…" I step up to the counter, flummoxed. As I do, I see the young barista—barely college age, blonde and peppy—get all soft-eyed at the sight of Kassam. She stands a little straighter, her tits pressing against the front of her apron, and her nipples are prominently on display through her shirt. Is he going to have this reaction from everyone, I wonder? "Two coffees and one of every cookie, please."
She doesn't even look in my direction. Just puts a hand to her breast and stares at Kassam as if he's the most stunning thing she's ever seen.
And honestly? I get it. I was totally fucked over last night and in the same situation. So I can't even be mad that she's in a horny daze. So I put cash on the counter, grab the tongs and open the cookie display, helping myself to a stack, just like I promised Kassam. "Here ya go, bud," I say loudly to get his attention.
He turns to me, his expression brightening as I hand him the treats. "Marvelous."
I point at an empty table in the corner. "Go sit over there and I'll bring you a drink."
He heads away, and the girl behind the counter watches him go, her face full of longing. "Two coffees, please?" I ask again, determined to be patient.
She finally glances at me, and her face colors with embarrassment. She grabs two cups, flustered. "I'm so sorry—"
"Don't be, he does that to everyone." Heck, he'd be doing it to me right now if I wasn't dripping in crystals. I touch them absently, making sure they're all still in place. Even with all these on, he still affects me. It's just like standing in winter sunlight instead of hugging the sun directly. I have a feeling it's a sensation I need to get used to if Kassam's going to be sticking around.
And then I wonder if he is. Sticking around, that is. It's something I haven't considered all that much. He just doesn't seem like he has anywhere else to go, and he's content to hang out with me. I add that to the mental list of questions that's growing longer by the moment. I need to get this figured out, because he said we were bound now, and that feels awfully…permanent.
It's strange, because it also feels very…right? Like a puzzle piece sliding into place, I muse as the girl hands me the coffees and takes my cash. Kassam hasn't said anything more than that he's a god and he's played with a few birds and eaten all my groceries and yet…it feels like him showing up was meant to be. Like he's not going anywhere because now we're a team, and I need to protect him.
Odd that I should feel protective of a man that's easily a foot taller (and probably a hundred pounds heavier) than me.