“That’s not what I asked.” I chugged my whisky and leaned over to refill it, trying not to roll my eyes at his cluelessness. “Haven’t you ever met a woman who made you lose your common sense? Who made your skin hot and your blood pump and everything else but kissing her, touching her, ceased to matter?” I blushed a little, imagining being said woman.
Reid tensed, gazing at me speculatively. “Have you ever met a guy who did that for you?”
I thought about Luca and lowered my gaze, feeling the old hurt still after all this time. “Once.”
“Who?” he demanded.
Wondering at his sudden glower and the reason behind it, I took a slow sip, knowing my lack of rush to respond would irritate him. Reid liked everyone to give him the answers to his questions with speed and efficiency.
“Evan?” He leaned toward me. “Who? Does Pat know about this guy?”
“I asked first.”
“What?”
“I asked you first if you’d ever met a woman who made you feel that way.”
“No,” he bit out. “Your turn.”
I shouldn’t have felt pleased by his response, but I really did. In fact, it elated me. So much so, I had to hide my smile in another sip of my drink.
“Are you deliberately being irritating?” Reid asked.
I smirked sadly at him. “No. I just … haven’t spoken about it. To anyone.” Not even to my best friend, Cass. She’d asked. But I’d been too raw about the whole thing for a long time. My infatuation with Reid, however, had eased the hurt Luca left behind.
Concern flashed across Reid’s expression. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Emotionally, yes. His name was Luca. He was an Italian studying at Edinburgh. I met him in second year. I’d never met anyone like him. Italians are so affectionate and open and charming and passionate. At least he was. We dated for just over a year. I’m pretty sure you knew that.”
Reid frowned. “I knew you had a boyfriend at uni, but no one said anything about him hurting you.”
“I told everyone that we broke up because he was going back to Rome.”
“What really happened?”
“I let myself get wrapped up in him. He’s one of those guys who makes you feel beautiful because he genuinely finds women in all their forms gorgeous. Too much. But the sex was amazing,” I admitted, unable to look at Reid when I said it. “I think I let my hormones ignore all the warning signs. One day I was in the library and this girl came over, sat down beside me, and told me Luca had been cheating on me with her and had gotten her pregnant. She thought I should know. And when I confronted him, he didn’t deny it. Told me people weren’t meant to be monogamists.” I finally met Reid’s angry gaze. “I argued that if that was how he felt, then he shouldn’t have misled me into believing he loved me and that we were each other’s only one.”
“I’m sorry. He sounds like a fuckwad.”
“Oh, it got worse. I shared a flat with four other girls. My best friends. One of them confessed to me after the fact that she and Luca fucked a couple of times behind my back.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Yeah.” I took a long swallow of whisky, remembering the betrayal. I coughed a little and wiped at my lips, placing the glass on the table. “Part of me was terrified I’d never be able to trust people again.”
“And can you?”
“Yes,” I answered firmly. “Two people who don’t understand what loyalty entails will not make me bitter or distrustful. Luca wasn’t the right guy for me. I confused lust for love. I never felt truly comfortable around him. Looking back on it, we never talked about anything serious. Anything real. I think the right person is someone who makes you vibrate with awareness.” I grinned, thinking of how much Reid did that to me. “And distracted as hell. But also be the one person you can trust to talk to about anything. To be comfortable enough with to be who you really are, to say how you really feel. You haven’t met her yet, Reid. It doesn’t mean she’s not out there.”
“Says the twenty-three-year-old who has all the time in the world. I’m not getting any younger, Evan.”
I snorted. “You’re talking as if you’re ancient. You’re only thirty-five, Reid.”
“Men have ticking biological clocks, too, you know,” he teased, surprising me.
“No, they don’t,” I disagreed, laughing. “You have nothing to worry about in that regard. But maybe if you had fewer rules, you’d meet the right woman.”
His brow furrowed in confusion. “What rules?”
“Patrick said you have rules,” I explained. “No dating women who’ll nag about your schedule, no dating women who don’t understand the store comes first, and no dating women younger than twenty-eight.” I tried not to emphasize the last.
“Your brother needs to keep his mouth shut,” Reid muttered.
“Are they true?”
He shrugged uncomfortably. “Aye. And clearly, the reason I’m still alone. I need to let them go. Except for the last.” He refused to meet my gaze. “The last is a firm rule.”
Disappointment burned in my gut along with the whisky. “Why?”
Still not meeting my gaze, he shrugged again. “I’ve dated younger women. They’re too immature.” He cut me a look. “I was born older than my years, Evan. I don’t want to be with a woman who is disappointed I’m not interested in clubbing or going to music festivals or taking selfies together for social media.”
Feeling irritated by his assumptions, I griped, “Not all twenty-somethings are into clubbing and music festivals and social media.”
He raised a querulous eyebrow.
“They’re not. Some of us have other interests.”
“Maybe you do,” he conceded. “But I haven’t met many others who do. Plus, I’m not screwing around. Contrary to what people think, I’m looking for someone to start a family with. Women my age are ready for that,” he sighed, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Not that I can seem to slow down enough for it to matter.”
“You’ll find her,” I promised him. It’s me, you fool! “One day, you’ll find her, Reid.”
He opened his eyes, looking at me through a low-lidded gaze. “You think so?”
His secret longing for a wife and family made my infatuation increase to ovary-exploding levels. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the blush stain my cheeks.
All I had to do was slowly but surely prove to my brother’s best friend that I was Mrs. Right. That I was a mature twenty-three-year-old who wanted the same things as him.
“I know so.” The words came out hoarse with emotion.
Something in my voice caused Reid to stiffen, and as our eyes held, I felt a thick tension fall between us. I wanted to dive on him. Crush my mouth against his and show him that there was a woman out there who wanted him for his loyalty, his determination, his secret sweetness, and his understanding of what was truly important in life. I wanted to show him that for the right woman, he would loosen the reins on the store to be with her.
To be with me.
Something flared in his eyes before his expression shut down. Then he leaned forward and patted my knee. “You’re a sweet kid, Evan. Thanks.” He stood abruptly and strolled across the office to the coat stand in the corner where his suit jacket hung. Shrugging into it, he said, “You get home okay?”