As my anxiety over hitting someone or falling in the dark ebbs, the perfection of it all seeps in. The wind on my face and in my hair. Nikolai’s laughter. The sensation of speed, the beauty of the lake.
My body turns on. There’s nothing sexual about it, but physical pleasure overtakes me, just the same. I grind over the bicycle seat like it’s my vibrator, increasing the sensations.
“You were right,” I call to Nikolai, laughter in my voice.
He throws me a smile. “You’re having fun?”
“So much.”
It’s true. I can’t think of when I’ve felt so free. So joyous. I never let myself go. I have to control every aspect of my life, right down to when and how I could have sex with Nikolai.
This bike ride? It’s freedom.
Freedom from constraint. From my crazy mind trying to make everything work out perfect and tie up with a bow, which it never does.
Nikolai is showing me something so much bigger than a bike ride along the lake. Something about living.
About love.
Wait, no. No, no, no. I’m not in love.
I can’t fall in love.
Yet, even as my mind protests, my body’s sailing free. Exalting in the sensations of the joyous bike ride.
In partnership with the man riding beside me.
Gratitude flows to him for bringing me out here. Showing me this. Making me come out of the safety of my controls and limitations.
I grind down on the seat again, letting myself turn completely untethered. Masturbating on a bike seat in the moonlight.
I come. Not a big orgasm. More like a little ripple, but it feels like a symbol of success. I let go and nothing terrible happened. There was actually a reward.
15
Nikolai
After morning sex and Chelle’s champagne brunch Sunday, I feel like a king.
No, more like I’ve been reborn. For the last four years, my bratva cell was my entire world. Ravil was the most benevolent dictator—all-seeing, generous, inclusive. Living all together on the top floor of this building was everything to me.
When things changed, I lost my way. My identity. What to live for.
Now, with this place, with Chelle running around naked doing my bidding, I feel like life restarted.
“Come here, Freckles.” I slide out and turn one of the barstools at the breakfast bar around. “Climb up here.” I pat it.
She comes over, her nipples beaded up and perky. I grasp her waist and lift her onto the bar stool.
“Good girl.”
Her gaze is both interested and wary. She trusts me, though. More and more. And I fucking love the way that trust feels.
I’d been lost before she came here. Empty. Feeling like I had no real purpose in life. Now I’ve found it. It’s turning Chelle on. Earning her trust. Watching her bloom like the most exotic, delicate flower.
I pick up a length of rope and wrap it around her calves, binding them to the legs of the barstool, so her knees are open, the sweet pink heart of her sex exposed to me. She squirms on the seat.
I catch her gaze. “Turned on?”
She nods.
“That’s too bad because I’m going to make you wait for it today. Do not disobey me and come without permission this time, or there will be serious consequences.”
“I don’t really think I can help it,” she complains.
“Then, by all means, test me,” I dare and watch her throat bob as she swallows.
She looks beautiful, her chestnut hair tumbling across her shoulders, her face flushed, pretty lips parted. Her tongue darts out to lick them, and I have to rearrange my package.
I wind the rope around her ribs and waist, binding her to the seat back, but leaving her breasts free for me to play with. “Give me your wrists,” I command from behind her. She hesitates, then holds her arms behind her for me to grasp and behind together.
I walk around to the front of her and survey my work.
It’s fucking deadly.
I mean, she’s so hot the apartment is in danger of combusting.
I pull out my phone to snap a picture, and she freaks out.
“Hard limit!” she yelps immediately, jerking at the bonds. “No photos. I mean it, Nikolai.”
“Okay, Freckles.” I toss my phone on the counter to calm her down. “I would never share it, is that what you’re afraid of?”
“Hard limit,” is all she can say, but the depth of her reaction makes me think there’s more to it.
“Hm.” I saunter toward her and put a knuckle under her chin to lift it. “What happened?”
She struggles against the bonds again, and I slide my hand under her hair to cup her nape. “Easy, Freckles. I don’t want you to chafe.” I stare down at her, massaging her neck and waiting until her breath deepens. “You’re quite obviously at my mercy here.” I pick up the bottle of peppermint oil I bought for the occasion and dab a bit on each of her nipples, then swirl it around to rub it in.
She blinks at me, then drags her lower lip between her teeth with a hiss when the burn starts to set in.
“I asked you a question.” I keep my tone casual and conversational, circling her without letting my fingertips stray from her body.
She squirms in her seat.
“There’s a story behind the photos, I can tell.”
Her belly puffs out and sucks in on a deep breath. “How can you tell?”
I smile. “Don’t answer a question with a question, zayka.” I pinch one of her nipples and hold it tight between my fingers until she gasps. I release it. “Talk to me. I want to know what happened.”
“Rob Sharke,” she gasps.
I stand in front of her and slide my hands up and down her thighs, squeezing every now and then.
“He shared photos of you?”
She nods. “He was my boyfriend in high school. Well, I thought he was my boyfriend. He was just trying to get laid—a total player. He took me to senior prom. I had sex with him.” She shrugs. “He broke up with me the following week.”
Now I understand why she hates players. I hate that she bundled me with such an asshole, but I get it. This is why she had to be roped into sex with a contract and a deadline. She’s afraid to give it freely now because it was taken in bad faith before.
I feel the spark of vengeance kindle in my gut. The need to hurt the asshole for her. “And the photos?” There’s a dangerous edge to my voice.
She nods. “You guessed it. The next summer I found out all the guys from high school had been privy to them. At least I’d already graduated, but I’ve never felt so violated.”
I straighten. “Tell me where to find him, and I’ll break both his arms.”
She lets out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re crazy.”
“Perfectly sane. And very dangerous when truly angered. Give me a name, and he’ll pay for his crimes against you.”
She shakes her head. “That’s wrong, Nikolai.” Even so, I can tell she likes it. There’s a smile still playing around the corners of her mouth and ease returns to her body.
“Offer stands.” I return to tweaking her nipples. Then I pick up the little bullet vibrator I also bought and slide it between her legs. I move slowly, making her watch it and wriggle in anticipation. I tuck it between her nether lips, flush against her clit and she moans.