I stood and left the table without giving her another word. Even if it turned out that woman was my mother, she’d never get a cent from Stella or me.
15
Stella
Eight Years Old
* * *
Grams lived in the guesthouse and helped Kevin out a lot, cooking and cleaning the house, making sure I went to school on time. She even helped me with my hair. “Bless Kevin’s heart, but he doesn’t have a clue what to do with a Black woman’s hair. I can’t have you out here looking like a fool. Your mother would kill me if I did that,” Grams would say as she brushed my coarse hair, tossing it in two puffs. Grams’ hair was like mine, but she had a lot more gray parts on her head.
She was right about my hair. Kevin had broken about five combs trying to do my hair, and I normally ended up crying when he’d tug on it too much, so Grams was the one who took on fixing me up for school. She had a gentle hand.
Kevin seemed sad lately. Sometimes, I’d walk past his office and hear him crying. I’d knock on his door and see if he needed anything, but he’d always pretend he was okay.
Grams said he pretended because he didn’t want his sadness to make me sad.
She said he brought different women from his past into the house and took them on dates, too because he was sad and trying not to be anymore.
“Why do I have to get my hair done today?” I grumbled to Grams on a Sunday morning.
Normally she only messed with my hair five days a week, and Sunday was not one of them.
“I already told you. We are meeting his new girlfriend, and you have to look decent.”
“Have you met her?”
“Yes.”
“Do you like her?”
Grams frowned and paused, which meant no, but she didn’t like most of Kevin’s girlfriends. She said he was too good for them.
“I think she might make him happy, so that’s all that matters, seeing how he’s lonely,” she answered.
“Why would he be lonely? He has us!”
Grams laughed. “Yes, he does, but sometimes a person needs a partner. Plus, your mama was his best friend since they were younger than you. They were so close that their souls were probably entangled. After she passed away, I truly believe that part of Kevin’s heart died and went to the ocean with your mama.”
I bit my nails and looked down at the floor. “Why doesn’t he just talk to Mama in the ocean?”
“Well, sweetheart…one has to believe in the magic of the ocean to be able to communicate with it. I think Kevin’s been struggling to believe ever since he lost your mother to the water. But he’ll come around. Maybe having someone around will make him believe a little bit more.”
“Do you think she’ll like me?”
Grams turned me toward her and kissed my forehead. “You’re impossible not to like, Stella.” She finished putting my hair into puffs and patted me on the shoulders. “Now, go on. Go put on that yellow sundress I lay out for you on your bed. Rosalina will be here any second, and I want you to be ready to greet her.”
I did as Grams said and hurried off to my bedroom. I changed into my sundress, which was my favorite color after teal. Most of my closet was yellow and teal stuff. I loved teal because it was my favorite color. I loved yellow because it was Mama’s.
I felt my tummy flipping as I got ready. I hoped Rosalina liked me because it would be nice to have another girl in the house. Sometimes, Kevin didn’t understand things that happened to me, and I could never talk to him about my crushes. I could talk to Grams sometimes, but it wasn’t the same.
I wasn’t looking for a new mama because mine was still around in the water, but maybe Rosalina could’ve been my friend. I didn’t have many friends at school, so it would’ve been nice to have her.
After I finished getting dressed, I dashed out of my room to go back to the living room to wait for Rosalina to come. As I was running around the corner, I bumped into Kevin, making me come to a fast stop. I tumbled a little, and he caught me in his arms before I fell to the ground.
“Whoa there, speed racer,” he mentioned.
I looked up at him and saw his eyes. His eyes used to smile more. Mama always said that was her favorite part of Kevin—how his eyes could be the happiest thing on his face. But now they looked sad. That made me sad, too.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I went standing to my feet.
He flicked his thumb against the bridge of my nose and then dabbed my fist with his like we always did. “It’s okay. You ready to meet Rosalina?”
“Yes! Grams said she’s going to like me, and maybe we can be friends, too.”
“Of course she’ll like you! You’re a star.”
I struck a pose. “I know, I shine.”
His eyes didn’t look as sad anymore as he kept chuckling. “You’re sassy like your mother, you know that, right?”
I lowered my eyebrows. “Do you miss her, Kevin?”
“Every single day.”
“Then why don’t you talk to her in the ocean? That’s how I talk to her, Grams, too! You could do it if you wanted to.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He rubbed his hand against the back of his neck and bent down in front of me. His hands fell against my shoulders, and he whispered. “I talk to the ocean. It just doesn’t talk back to me.”
I leaned in closer to him and whispered back, “That’s cuz you’re not listening closely enough.”
His mouth parted to speak, but the doorbell rang. Following right after that, we heard a shout. “Honey, I’m home!”
“Rosalina’s here,” he said.
My heart was doing cartwheels as excitement filled me up.
Kevin smiled and leaned forward, giving me a forehead kiss. Mama used to kiss my forehead, too. I hoped Kevin never stopped that. Ocean kisses, Grams called them because the forehead kiss sent waves of comfort throughout my body. They were reminders that someone loved me.
“I know I’ve dated a lot, but this thing with Rosalina is going to be different,” he told me, but I felt as if he was really trying to tell himself. “I promise, Stella.”
I nodded my head as he stood back up. He stared at me with a smile and those sad eyes. “Every single day, you look more like your mother. UB, you know?”
I smiled. “UB.”
UB stood for universal blessings. Little things that happened in the world that felt like small gifts from the universe. We learned a lot of our weird sayings and stuff from Grams. She was into magic and tarot cards, crystals and sage, and all of that stuff. When it came to the universe, Grams had a gift of knowing lots of stuff. UB was just one of the millions of things she’d taught Kevin and me.
“Come on.” He took my hand into his. “Let’s go see her together.”
We walked toward the living room, and there Rosalina was, standing there tall as ever in her high heels and fancy clothes. Her driver was bringing in some of her suitcases, and she was typing nonstop on her cell phone with big black sunglasses that covered her whole face.
When she saw us, she stopped typing and slid her phone into her purse. “Kevin!” she cried out, rushing to him. Kevin dropped my hand, and I stepped behind him a little bit as they embraced.