Now I was getting nervous. “What’s going on, Damian?”
“Kelsey didn’t come with me tonight because we first went to dinner.”
“Oh? Did something go wrong?”
“Yes. Based on my few observations, I already assumed, but I needed more concrete proof before bringing this information to you. So, we went to dinner.”
“I’m sorry, I’m confused at what you’re getting at.”
His hand ran over his mouth, and his nerves were wreaking my own. When he spoke, his words felt like a foreign language. “They’re sleeping together.”
I paused, baffled by his words. “I’m sorry, what? Who’s sleeping together?”
“Jeff and Kelsey. They are sleeping together, and I have a feeling it’s been going on for a while.”
I laughed because what else was I supposed to do? “That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s true.”
“What? No. It’s not.” My head shook as I was flabbergasted that he’d even say such a thing. “What are you talking about? No, they aren’t.”
“Yes, Stella, they are.”
“What’s wrong with you? Why would you even say that? I… that doesn’t even make sense. Kelsey likes you.”
“No. She doesn’t.”
“Yes, she does! She just told me! She’s been talking about you like crazy at work, and—”
“They’re sleeping together.”
“Stop saying that,” I blurted out, feeling my chest tighten from shock. “You’re wrong.”
“I wish I was.”
“No, you are! Look, I don’t know what your deal is, Damian, but this is too far. How dare you. Those are two very important people in my life, and—”
“You’re a good person,” he cut in.
“Stop saying that,” I whispered.
“I can’t because that’s why you can’t see it. I see it because I’m not a good person. I see it because I can spot the darkness in people. I can see the worst while you can only see the best. This is why you can’t see it.”
I huffed. “You’re calling me naïve?”
“No.” He narrowed his eyes as if baffled by my question. “I’m calling you a good person.”
“You’re saying it in a condescending way.”
“I’m not. It’s just the truth.”
“You’re basically saying that I’m too stupid to realize that my closest friend is hooking up with my boyfriend.”
“I never called you stupid, Stella.”
“But you did! You are! I just don’t… I…” My words were getting jumbled up as my mind tried to wrap my head around what Damian was accusing. Why would he do this? We were getting to such a good place. We were building a friendship, at least I thought so. But now, why would he do this? “I’m going back inside.”
He grimaced and parted his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
What, Damian?
Say it.
Say anything. Apologize. Take it all back.
His unspoken words were enough to signal me that the conversation was over.
I turned to walk back inside when he called out.
“Ask Kelsey. Straight out. She’ll tell you. Maybe not with words, but with her eyes. Jeff is a talented liar. He’s heartless, and guilt isn’t something he holds within him. But Kelsey… she’ll tell you the truth, solely with her eyes.” The corner of his mouth twitched, and I saw more emotion in those eyes than I ever had before. “I don’t think you’re stupid, and if you took my words that way, I apologize. I know I’m blunt. I know I don’t know how to say things right, but when I speak to you, it’s with nothing but my fullest level of respect. I don’t want to hurt you. If my words ever do that, then I will apologize because you’re my friend, Stella. You are my friend, and you are far from stupid.”
With that, he turned and left me, feeling lost.
When I got home, Damian was already in his bedroom with his door closed. When I headed to my room, I still felt knots in my stomach from our interaction. I couldn’t stop overthinking everything Damian had mentioned to me about Kelsey, about Jeff.
I held my hand over my face as I lay in my bed, feeling nauseous as I typed and deleted messages to Kelsey and Jeff. I couldn’t build up the courage to send the messages to accuse them of something so cruel. Then again, I knew I couldn’t do it via text messages anyway.
I had to see their eyes.
At least Kelsey’s.
Around midnight, I pulled myself from my bed, tossed on my tennis shoes, and headed out of the front door. Within twenty minutes, I was standing on Kelsey’s front porch, knocking repeatedly.
As she opened the door, she looked surprised to see me standing there. Her lips turned up into the warm smile that I’d known for so long, and I couldn’t for a second believe that she’d betray me in the way that Damian was claiming. But then again, why would he lie about it?
What hurt me the most was knowing at least one person out of three that mattered to me was a liar of some sort.
“Stella, hey. What are you doing here?” she asked as she crossed her arms.
A cool breeze brushed against my skin, creating chills throughout my body. “Are you sleeping with Jeff?” I blurted out.
He was right.
It was her eyes.
They shifted.
They told the stories that her mouth couldn’t speak.
“Oh my goodness,” I said, stumbling backward.
“Stella, wait, I, I mean, I…” Her eyes filled with emotions as her hand flew to her mouth, and she covered it, shaking her head back and forth. “I’m…”
Deep breaths. Shaky body. Guilty body. Guilty friend. Friend. Kelsey. No…
“I’m so sorry, Stella. It was only supposed to be one time. I went to one of his gigs. And then, well, we drank too much,” she confessed, tears streaming down her cheeks as if she were the one who was betrayed. As if she was the one hurting. As if she wanted me to comfort her. “But then, feelings grew, and well… Jeff felt guilty after a while and told us we shouldn’t… and we haven’t! Not since Kevin died, I swear to you, Stella! That’s why I thought dating Damian would put a stop to it, and it did. Jeff and I are over. I promise.”
Promises.
What did a promise mean to her?
“How long?” I breathed out.
“Stella pleas—”
“How long?!” I snapped, feeling rage shoot through me or sadness. Maybe both? Confusion? Anxiety? Hurt? Every feeling that was the opposite of joy raced through my system.
“I… uh, three years.”
Three years.
Three years of holidays together. Three years of celebrating birthdays. Three years of a secret affair behind my back while looking me in the eyes and telling me they loved me.
I took a step backward, and my ankle bent as I missed a step. I tumbled, falling down the five steps of her front porch, hitting the concrete at the bottom with a hard thump, cutting up my hands as they slid across the ground.
“Stella! Are you okay?” Kelsey remarked, rushing toward me. “Your hand is bleeding.” She bent down to help me up, and I shoved her hand away.