Those words played on a loop in my mind as he slid in and out of me, each thrust unlocking a part of me that had been caged away for so long.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling…
“I know,” he whispered against my ear as I moaned out his name. Filled with so much emotion. “Me too,” he said as if he could read my mind. As if his thoughts matched my own. As if we were one soul, split between two bodies.
I wasn’t certain that I believed in soul mates, but that night, I believed in us.
And that would be enough for me.
25
Stella
* * *
I woke up in Damian’s bed for the remainder of the week. He taught me everything I’d never known in the bedroom. He twisted my body in ways I didn’t even know bodies could twist. He pleased me—multiple times—before he’d ever received any pleasure of his own. I wasn’t even sure what we were doing, but I loved the way we fell together. Were we dating? Were we friends with benefits? A married couple who had no clue what our feelings were doing?
I tried not to overthink it because, for the first time in a long time, I felt joy. A real joy that wasn’t packed with fake smiles and internal anxiety.
I did, however, start wearing the ring he gave me on our wedding day.
When Christmas morning came, I was almost certain I’d be up before Damian due to my Christmas excitement, but to my surprise, when I rolled over, he was no longer in bed. I sat up and stretched out before stepping into my slippers and hurrying out of the bedroom. I smiled as breakfast aromas hit my nose.
It smelled like fresh pastries and happiness.
As I walked into the kitchen, I found Damian standing in front of the oven with an apron covered in flour. His back was toward me, and he hadn’t heard me enter.
“Merry Christmas!” I exclaimed, making him jump a little before he turned to face me.
“You scared me.” He smiled and walked over to me. Wrapping me in his arms, he pulled me close to his chest and placed his lips against my forehead.
Butterflies formed in my stomach.
Ocean kisses.
“Merry Christmas,” he whispered, holding me tighter. It felt like more than a friendly embrace. Or maybe that was what I’d hoped for—more than friends.
“I thought you’d still be sleeping in,” he mentioned, heading back to the oven to check on his creation.
“Oh, no. Sleeping in on Christmas was never a thing. When I was a kid, I used to wake Kevin up at four in the morning to open gifts. It’s always been such a special time for me. But today, I did sleep in a little,” I said.
He arched an eyebrow. “It’s four-thirty in the morning.”
“I know!” I exclaimed. “I can’t believe I slept so long. Speaking of, what are you doing up?”
“Well, I was finishing part of your Christmas present.” He frowned. “But now everything else isn’t ready. I was going to make you a whole breakfast spread.”
“That’s fine! It smells delicious, though. What is it?”
He reached into the oven with oven mitts and pulled out a tray of scones.
Homemade blueberry scones.
“I didn’t think that Christmas was falling on a Saturday, and the bakery already stopped making holiday orders weeks ago. So, I couldn’t get you your Saturday scones. I figured I’d try my hand at making them.”
My heart…
“You made me blueberry scones?” I asked, stunned.
“Yeah. I’ve never made them before, so I did a few test runs when you were at work last week, but I think I got it down. They aren’t as good as Jerry’s, but—”
“You practiced making scones for me?” I cut in.
“Yeah. I didn’t want to give you crap as part of your gift.” He grimaced and pinched his nose. “But, honestly, I was going to wrap them in a nice blue box and make it presentable. I should’ve considered you might wake up early and—”
Before he could finish, I was standing in front of him, placing my lips against his, kissing him hard, trying to fight the emotions sitting behind my eyes. “This is the sweetest gift ever.”
He laughed. “It’s just scones.”
“No. It’s definitely more than that.”
I kissed him again, seeing if it was more. More than friends. More than an arranged marriage. More than…
He kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my lower back. His fingers massaged my skin, and my hands fell against his chest as we stayed interlocked.
“How bad would it be if I took you back to bed for a little while?” he asked.
I smiled. “I could rest a little,” I replied, coy.
“Trust me, Cinderstella. We aren’t about to rest in there.”
He took my hand into his and led me in the direction of our room.
Our room? Was it ours?
Were we an ‘our’?
Be here now, Stella. Don’t overthink.
He was right. We didn’t rest. We fell together, making love in the most passionate way as the white Christmas lights against the window glistened in the darkened room. Every time Damian touched me, it felt romantic, it felt peaceful, it felt right.
Afterward, we lay there completely out of breath, dripping in sweat and breathing heavily. I flopped off from on top of him—because I was no longer afraid of being on top—and panted from my exhaustion.
“That was…” I released a weighted exhalation.
“Yeah,” he replied, complete with his own sigh of pleasure.
We lay there in the darkness, feeling nothing but the light within ourselves, in complete silence for a few moments. Then he looked over at me with a wicked smile resting against his lips. “Do you know what sounds great?” he asked.
I smiled bigger as if I could read his mind. “Blueberry scones.”
We headed to the kitchen naked and grabbed the fresh scones. Damian made a pot of coffee, and then we moved to the dining room. I sat on his lap, and he fed me scones as we cuddled and looked at the beautiful Christmas tree sparkling down the hallway.
“These scones might be better than Jerry’s,” I said, taking another bite.
He laughed. “You don’t have to lie to me.”
“No, really. I need this every Christmas morning now.”
“We can make that happen,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t mind.”
My overthinking mind came into play, and I couldn’t keep my thoughts to myself as I leaned into him and rested my head against his shoulder. “Can I be vulnerable with you for a second and ask you a question?” I murmured.
“Always.”
“What are we?” I grazed my teeth against my bottom lip. “I mean, I know we are husband and wife by paper. And I know we are friends. But are we just friends with benefits, or are we… more than that?”
I lowered my head, feeling a bit embarrassed by the question.
“Stella...” He placed his finger beneath my chin and raised my head. “You have no clue how long I’ve wanted to be more than with you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I just assumed I shouldn’t bring it up since you had your situation with Jeff that just ended. But… that’s all I want. All I want is you. All of you. Your body and your soul.”