“I’m not sure,” he replies. The tilt to his head and the tone of his voice tell me he really isn’t sure why he did it.
“And today? Why did you come to see me today?”
“Today, you seem less stressed, I guess. Almost as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.” He shrugs.
“Yeah, that’s pretty accurate, actually. I’ve been cramming for finals.”
“You’re ready.” He nods.
I can’t help but chuckle. “What’s in the bag, Bailey?” I ask him.
“Just a sandwich from the deli across the street.”
“They have food here.”
“Pastries, which I know are delicious, but you need more than that. You’re going to wither away or get sick if you don’t eat.”
“I eat.”
“Well, you need fuel to study.”
“I’m done for the day. I’m as prepared as I can be.”
“Parker.” He sighs. “Just eat the damn sandwich.” He hesitates, then says, “Please.”
“Are you eating with me?”
“No. I wasn’t sure you’d let me stay.”
“You mean you’d actually give me a choice?” I’m starving, and the deli bag taunts me. I’m trying to reconcile this nice version of Holden. Not that he’s ever been mean to me. He’s just usually all bossy and whatnot.
“I’m trying to.” A small smile pulls at his lips.
Reaching for the bag, I pull out the deli sandwich and the small bag of chips. “You really have nothing better to do than hang out here all day?” I ask before taking a bite of the sandwich. I moan. It’s a turkey club, which is my favorite. When he doesn’t reply, I look up to find his heated stare. “What?” I ask, reaching for a napkin to wipe my mouth.
“Did anyone ever tell you you’re sexy as fuck when you eat?” He licks his lips, and I shift in my seat.
I can’t help the nervous laugh that sputters out of me. “No. Can’t say that they have.” Embarrassment heats my cheeks. It’s not every day a girl gets a compliment from a man like Holden.
“Dumbasses,” he mumbles under his breath.
“So, what are your plans for today?” I ask before taking another bite.
“I need to do some last-minute Christmas shopping.”
“Procrastinator, huh?” I tease.
“Nah, there’s this girl I met. I’ve been trying to get her to give me a chance, so that’s been taking a lot of my time.” His lip curls in a smile, and if I were standing, it would have made my knees weak.
“Sounds like maybe she’s not interested.” I manage to keep my voice steady as I say the words. I’m interested. Anyone on the receiving end of Holden Bailey’s attention is interested. However, interest does not outweigh common sense. I mean, the point of dating is to find your forever, and Holden doesn’t do forever.
“Nah, she’s interested.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table.
“You sure about that?” I ask, popping a chip in my mouth.
“I’m sure.”
“Cocky much?” My tone is teasing.
His deep blue eyes hold my own. “It’s not being cocky when it’s facts. You see, this girl, she wants me, but she’s fighting it. Our chemistry is off the charts.” He pauses, waiting for me to reply, but I’ve got nothing. No words come to mind. “Every time I’m near her, her breathing accelerates. I can see the rapid beat of her pulse in her neck.” Before I know what’s happening, his long arm reaches across the table, and he slips his hand around my neck. We’re both leaning close. “Right here,” he says softly. “I feel it right here.” Slowly, his hand slides down to rest over my chest. “And here. Her chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath every time I’m near her.”
I shift in my seat. I should break his stare, but it’s as if he has me hypnotized, and I can’t look away. It’s times like this I wish I could just throw caution to the wind and give him what he wants, what we both want.
“I want you, Parker,” he says huskily.
“I want you too,” I confess. My words seem to break open something inside him. It’s not just me who’s breathing rapidly. His calm and cool demeanor has shifted.
“Have dinner with me?”
“No.”
He tilts his head to the side and studies me. “Why not?”
“I won’t deny the chemistry. It’s almost electric, but that’s not enough.”
“Trust me. I’ll take care of you,” he says, his heated stare causing my girly bits to stand up and take notice. Who am I kidding? They always notice when Holden is involved.
“Probably,” I say, sitting back, causing his hand to drop from my chest.
“There is no probably about it, Parker.”
“We’ll never get to find out.”
“Why? You feel this, you admitted it, and you said you want me. I don’t understand.”
“I need more. I can’t do meaningless. It’s not in me. I won’t say that you don’t commit because I don’t really know you. I do know what I’ve seen and read about you in the past two years since you came on the pro scene, and you’ve never been seen with the same woman twice. I’m not that girl. I’m not going to jump into bed with you no matter how bad I might want to just to say that I did. I want meaning and more than one night.”
“Giving you more than one night isn’t going to be a hardship for me.”
“I want more than sex, Holden. I’m flattered you’ve put in this much effort to pursue me, but trust me, I’m not the fun-loving party girl you’re after. I like quiet nights in and spending time with my family and friends. I’m not about trying to grow my celebrity status.”
“That’s what all of those women are. Most of those dates are arranged by my agent. I don’t sleep with all of them, and I can guarantee you I never had this kind of chemistry with any of them.”
“I’m sorry, Holden.” I wrap up the rest of my sandwich and the bag of chips, placing them back in the deli bag. My stomach is in knots, and I can’t eat another bite. I’ll save it for later for when I’m not in his orbit.
“I’ve never done committed, but I can.”
“I’m sure you can. When you’re ready.”
“What if I’m ready now?”
“Come on, Holden. We both know that’s not the case.”
“Dude! You’re Holden Bailey,” a guy I’ve seen on campus says, walking up to our table. “My buddy said he heard you were hanging out here. Can I have your autograph?” he asks, digging into his backpack for a notebook and pen.
“Nice to meet you,” Holden says, smiling up at him. “However, I’m spending time with my girl right now. We’re just about to leave, so give me five and keep the crowd away, and I’ll take care of that for you.”
The guy is all too eager, and the crowd, well, his loud-ass declaration of who is sitting across from me is the reason there’s a crowd.
Holden turns his attention back to me. “Let me prove it to you.”