“Shit,” he says. “I looked.”
My eyes fly open and I pull away from him, glaring. “You looked?”
He gives me a sheepish nod. “I looked. I couldn’t help it. My curiosity took over and I thought I’d only open for a quick peek just to see its legs or something, but that’s not what I saw.”
Dr. Rodriguez clears his throat—to hide a laugh, I think—but otherwise stays quiet.
“So you know?” I snap.
“I know.”
“Carter! Dammit.” I smack his shoulder. “Now I have to know too.”
He shakes his head, fighting a smile and failing miserably. “You don’t. I don’t have to tell you.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah. You do. You’ll slip at some point. I know you.” Ugh! “You know what? Don’t tell me. If you got to see it, so do I.” I turn back to Dr. Rodriguez. “Can you show me?”
He grins warmly. “Of course. It’s right here.”
I blink, staring at the blurry ultrasound image and then smile, my heart fluttering in my chest. “I had a feeling.”
Carter laughs. “Me too. I would have been happy either way.”
Dr. Rodriguez finishes his exam and then gives me some cloths to get cleaned up before excusing himself, asking us to meet him out front before we leave. The moment the door clicks behind him, I sag back, staring aimlessly up at the drop ceiling.
It’s real now.
I mean, I had been taking my prenatal vitamins. Eating well. Sleeping whenever I can because lawd, the exhaustion is something else. I saw my neurologist who said we’re going to monitor me closely, but since we’re not putting me back on any anticonvulsants—they’re not the best for the baby—then I’ll just have to keep on doing what I’ve been doing.
I’ve been following everything I should while simultaneously trying not to think too closely about it. I was waiting for today. For this moment, I think. My life from here on out will never be the same. I’m going to be a mother. Carter is going to be the father and while we want to do this together, we’ve only been together such a short while and—
“You’re doing it again,” Carter accuses. “Overthinking and allowing your brain to go to the dark side.”
“I’m scared.” Of so much.
Carter shoves me over on the tiny gurney that is definitely not built for two. Somehow he manages to climb on, twist to his side, and then lift me up, dropping me on top of him so my face rests over his steady heart. He kisses my head, running his fingers up and down my back.
“I was thinking you’d take six weeks off for maternity leave,” he says. “I was thinking I’d take the six weeks after that off. Then, when the baby is a few months old, we’d put it in the daycare in the hospital. That way we can both go down and see the baby during the day. You’ll likely even be able to take a break to nurse it. That would put you right at the start of your fourth year. But I’m attending, Grace. I have nothing left to prove.”
“Carter.”
“Just hear me out, okay? I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I want to buy a place in Beacon Hill or Cambridge, close to Rina and close to the hospital. I want it to be our home, not just a condo we live in. I want it to have a backyard where I can eventually put a playscape and the kid can run around. Where its siblings can eventually run around. I want to be what my father was to me. A dad. So my plan is this: after the baby is born, I intend to cut back my hours to two days in clinic and two days on the floor for surgeries and deliveries. That’s it.”
“What about me?”
“Your fourth year is your time to shine, Grace. And me and the baby will be with you the whole way. After that, we’ll figure it out. Together.”
Tears stain Carter’s shirt but he doesn’t seem to care, and I can’t seem to stop them. Damn hormones. “I don’t deserve you, but I love you so much.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. My heart doesn’t beat without yours beside it.”
I plant a kiss on his chest. Right over his heart. Where mine will always beat beside his. “We’re having a baby, Carter. You and me.”
“You know what this means, don’t you?”
My head pops up. “No. What?”
“We have to go and tell my family we’re pregnant. And that includes Octavia.”
Oh shit.
EPILOGUE CONTINUED
“She’s going to be so mad at me,” I say as we pull up in front of the Fritz compound.
“Yep. Both of us likely.”
“You don’t think she’ll understand that you’re not supposed to tell people until you hit the twelve-week mark?”
“No. We’re talking about my mom here. She’s going to be hurt, but she’ll get over it and be crazy excited.”
Lord, I hope so. After all, Carter and I are unmarried and don’t exactly have plans to become so. I mean, Fritzes don’t behave this way. Even Oliver is keeping his ring on Amelia’s hand as a placeholder, though they’re not technically engaged.
Which makes me wonder.
“You don’t think Oliver spilled it already, do you?”
“If he did, I’ll kill him, so he better not have.”
Carter’s parents returned from The Vineyard house back in early September. Some of Octavia’s tests came back troublesome and her doctor wanted to start her another round of chemo even though the PET scan was inconclusive.
No one is really talking about it. I don’t think any of us know what to say. There is so much fear swimming under the surface right now and every member of this family is on edge with it. If we lose Octavia Fritz, no one will be okay.
But knowing we’re about to deliver baby news will hopefully be a bright spot for her. The woman’s greatest wish is for her children to be happy in love and settled. Now here we are, and I can’t wait to tell her, but I’m also scared because yeah, she’ll be upset we held it back for so long.
Telling her feels better than telling my own mother. Octavia’s reaction matters so much more to me. The woman who never failed to embrace me as one of her own and keep me in her home and her family.
Carter puts the car in park and comes around to help me out, not releasing my hand as we walk up to the house. “I have to tell Oliver myself. First.”
Carter glances over, meeting my eyes. “You don’t want to do it together? He is my little brother. If he doesn’t like me there, I can just noogie him until he cries for mom like he used to when he was a kid.”
“You’re cute when you threaten violence, but I don’t think that’s the key to winning him over.”
Carter tugs on my hand, yanking me into his chest. “Hey,” he says, all big, dopey smiles. “Can you believe it? We’re having a—”
“Are you just going to stand out here all day making googly eyes at each other?” Oliver comes out from the doorway.
“You mean the way you did with Amelia before you were even actually together?” Carter retorts.
“Exactly like that. It’s gross. Grace can do better.” He shifts his focus to me. “Honestly, you have the worst taste in men.”