“I’ll take the top bunk.”
“Okay. You get in first.”
I climbed up the ladder but didn’t even make it onto the bed because it was too close to the ceiling. “I can’t.”
“You want the bottom?”
“What about snakes?”
He took my question seriously. “I think you’re safe enough down here.”
“Can I have the flashlight?”
He handed it to me.
With reluctance, I climbed into the bed and pulled the scratchy blanket over me. Viktor didn’t even use the ladder. He just pulled himself up onto the top bunk.
“How will we know when to wake up?”
“I’ll wake up,” he told me. “Go to sleep.”
I worked to shut my eyes. I was fading when I heard a soft rustle on the floor. With shaking hands, I turned on the flashlight and pointed it toward the noise, but I saw nothing. I shone the light around the floor, but it was empty.
“Blaire?”
“I thought I heard something.”
“Did you see something?”
“No.” I turned off the light with trepidation, hating how all the sounds of the boat became amplified in the dark. I lay there, alert and tense, clutching the flashlight in my hands.
Another faint noise.
I turned on the flashlight but found nothing. Feeling foolish, I turned it off.
I thought I felt something brush against my foot. With trembling hands, I turned the flashlight on again, but I was alone.
Torturous moments in the dark ticked by.
Was that a thud of something heavy landing on the floor? I clicked on the light. Nothing. I clicked the light off.
I waited, knowing that one of these times I would find something slithering in my flashlight beam.
I turned the light on again, just to make a defensive sweep of the floor.
“Blaire?” Viktor’s voice sounded clear and awake.
“I thought I heard something.”
“You’re going to burn out the battery.”
“Sorry, I’ll stop.” Except I heard another faint rustle. Convinced we were in danger, I turned the flashlight on again.
“Blaire, what’s going to get you to sleep?” Viktor’s voice sounded rough.
“What do you care?”
“Because I can’t sleep until you do.”
“It’s just really dark down here, and I keep hearing noises.” I turned on the light again. “Like that. Did you hear that?”
He jumped off the top bunk, making me cower.
“I didn’t mean it. Please don’t take the light away.”
“Move to one side.”
“You’re going to lie down with me?” The band of fear around my chest loosened. “Oh my god, thank you.”
He moved onto my bunk and lay on his side with his back against the wall. He was so big, he took up nearly two-thirds of the bed. “Lie down.”
I gingerly lay with my back to him, facing the door. Just as a precaution, I turned on the flashlight one more time.
His tone was surprisingly patient. “There’re no snakes down here.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I’m just sure.”
I reluctantly clicked the flashlight off. “Don’t you have any fears?”
He took so long to answer I wasn’t sure he would. “No.”
I twisted my head toward him. “Everyone is scared of something.”
“I’m not.”
“Are you scared of dying?”
“Nope.”
“What about pain?”
“Pain can be controlled by your mind.”
“Getting shot at?”
“Part of life.”
“Rats… snakes… spiders?” I listed the worst offenders.
“I don’t like them, but I’m not afraid of them.”
“Heights?”
“I’m fine.”
“Tight spaces?”
“Not an issue.”
I thought long and hard about what might make him run in the opposite direction. And then I realized that this man held himself at a distance for a reason. He likely didn’t get attached. He didn’t want to get hurt. It was very personal, but I spoke my observations anyway. “You’re afraid to fall in love.”
No response.
I lifted my head and, in the dark, turned toward him to listen. I wasn’t even sure he was still awake. With a smile on my face, I rolled onto my side and buried my back into his warm side. “Your silence speaks volumes.”
“Time to sleep.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
VIKTOR
I was running across a courtyard as bullets whizzed past my head.
“Fire!” I screamed at Fyodor, who stepped out from a shop, just out of my reach.
He stood, looking at me with a blank expression on his face.
He was going to get shot! I could feel the sniper tracking me.
“Fyodor, take cover,” I screamed as I leaped in the air and landed on top of him, doing whatever I could to save him. He fought me, but I worked to pin him down despite his struggles.
“Viktor, please get off me!” he begged in a breathless voice.
Something wasn’t right.
I jerked awake. I wasn’t in Beirut. I had someone small and warm pinned to the bed, and they wiggled beneath me.
“Viktor.” Blaire’s hoarse whisper sounded in the dark. She sounded like she was struggling to breathe.
It took another second to realize that I was on top of her, my entire body covering hers, her arms pinned above her head. I rolled off her and stood beside the bunk. I put my face against the top bunk and silently panted into the mattress. My heart was pounding, and my muscles trembled with adrenaline. Holy fuck. I was so disoriented.
Fyodor. I’m so fucking sorry.
I gave myself three more seconds to pull myself together before I flicked on the lights and looked down at Blaire. She lay on her back with a stunned expression on her face.
“Are you hurt?”
She squinted at me in the light, but she didn’t speak.
“Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head, but I knew that whatever I had done in my sleep had freaked her out. Anger rushed over me for putting her through another traumatic experience.
“Sit up. Show me,” I demanded.
She gingerly sat up and swung her feet to the floor, but she rubbed her wrists.
I hated how she cowered when I crouched down in front of her. I grabbed one small wrist and inspected it. I could see the delicate skin was marked red from where my fingers had dug into her skin.
“I’m sorry.” I felt like such a dick. Words could do nothing to fix what I had done to her.
Her voice was soft. “It’s okay.”
I forced myself to meet her sympathetic gaze, which only made me feel worse. “It’s not okay. That’s never okay.”
She took a shaky breath. “At first I didn’t realize you were having a nightmare.”
Oh fuck. I winced as I realized how she must have interpreted my actions. Asleep in the dark, she had woken up to some man rolling on top of her and pinning her to the bed. I spoke vehemently. “I would never.”
“I know that.”