Blaire was probably counting the moments until this nightmare ended, but I dreaded relinquishing my unwanted protective services. I knew that right now she was imagining Jet Skis and mojitos, much like she fantasized about rugged gardeners, but the picture she painted, no matter how appealing, was pure fantasy. Our real worlds would never mesh, and there wasn’t any point in pretending they would. Once this mission was over, we’d go back to our separate lives. Wanting something else wasn’t even close to any reality I knew or understood. It would be enough to know that I had gotten her through all of this in one piece.
And that was now my only goal.
“Look at how nice this room is.” Blaire wandered into our Singapore hotel room ahead of me. “It even has a balcony that overlooks the pool.” She looked over her shoulder and gave me a smile.
The room wasn’t anything special, but compared to the trashy dump hotels I had recently brought her to, it was a big step up. “I’m sure you’ve seen a lot better.”
“This room has a mini fridge.” She walked across the room and opened it. “With alcohol.”
“We’ve really moved up in the world.”
She grinned at me as she tossed her bag on one bed. “It feels like it.”
“Are you hungry?”
She yawned. “Just tired.”
“You should sleep.”
“But I will be hungry tonight,” she suggested lightly. “What’s for dinner?”
I knew what she was suggesting and I chose to ignore it. “I’m heading out to check out the docks. I’ll pick something up on my way back.”
“Maybe we can go out for dinner?”
“No.”
She started to unpack her bag into those tiny little piles again. “How do we get on the ship?”
“I’m supposed to call Drake a few hours before, and he’s going to give us all the details.”
“That doesn’t leave us a lot of time to do any planning.” She sat down on the bed. “Is it going to be dangerous?”
We had just spent the last week fighting to get to this point, but the reality was that tomorrow could be a death trap for both of us. And every part of me wanted to whisk her away, back to the safety of her life. But three people’s lives depended on my ability to override those feelings.
“Is it going to be dangerous? Probably.” I roughly zipped my bag shut. I had never been scared of a fight before in my life, and I didn’t fear death. But the thought of putting Blaire’s life at risk filled me with newfound terror. “You sure you want to go through with this? Say the word and I’ll have you on the next flight out of here.”
She reacted as expected. “Are you crazy? This is the only way to save your friends and my grandfather.”
“I can’t guarantee anything tomorrow.” I was having difficulty even saying the words. “I can’t guarantee your safety.”
Something crossed over her expression before she covered it up with a light smile. “Well, if tonight is my last night, can we do better than takeout?”
Her last night. The thought of her dying tomorrow made me so angry I wanted to destroy something. I couldn’t even process how bad that thought made me feel, so I took it out on her with a cold tone. “This isn’t a game, Blaire.”
She moved to stand in front of me and then tilted her face up to mine. “I know that.”
In some weird twist, she had come to accept the reality of our situation much better than I could. I couldn’t understand why she remained so calm when I felt violent over the fact that I couldn’t protect her. “We’re not going on a dinner date.”
Even those words didn’t rattle her. “Maybe we should. Maybe we should just enjoy ourselves as much as possible. It’d be a shame if we didn’t.”
I worked to breathe evenly through my nostrils as temptation roared through me. I knew what she was suggesting, and I had no idea how I was still resisting. “That’s not what you want, even if you think it is.”
“You have no idea what I want.”
I wrapped my hand around her waist and yanked her tight against me, loving her little gasp.
“Is this what you want?” I lowered my mouth to hers and hovered, so close our breath touched. This was what I wanted, but I was too cowardly to admit it to either of us.
“Yes,” she breathed.
Part of me feared that if I gave into any of this, I would never let her get on that ship tomorrow. I released her and stepped back. “No.”
She blinked, unfazed. “I know what I want, even if you don’t.”
“We need to stay focused.” I stepped back. Every cell in my body wanted to wrap my arms around her and never let go. I needed to get out of here before I did something unforgivable.
I picked up my bag and walked toward the door. “Lock the door behind me and, no matter what, don’t open it.”
“Viktor.” Her voice was quiet, but it was her understanding and her patience that were nearly my undoing.
Without looking at her, and with deep regret, I walked out of the hotel room.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
BLAIRE
I opened my eyes, but from the dim light in the room, I was unable to tell what time it was. Sensing I wasn’t alone, I lifted my head. Viktor was sprawled in a chair, watching me with an inscrutable expression.
“What time is it?” I felt so sleepy I could barely form the words.
“Almost 6 p.m.”
Too tired to speak further, I made an encouraging noise.
His voice was low but steady as he offered me his version of an olive branch. “I thought we could get dinner at the market.”
That woke me up. “Since it might be our last night alive?”
“But only if you stop saying that.”
I reached over to the nightstand and fumbled around before turning on the light. I squinted at him. “Deal.”
He motioned with his head. “Go get ready. You’ve got five minutes.”
That technically meant I had about fifteen minutes before he started making grumbling noises. I hadn’t come to any kind of terms with the prospect that I might die tomorrow, but that didn’t stop me from blurting my outrageous request. “Is this going to be a date?”
His neck muscles tightened. “I’m sorry about earlier. I overstepped my bounds.”
“Says who?”
He stood up and walked over to his bag, avoiding my attention. “It won’t happen again. Come on, get moving.”
I lay there for another fifteen seconds so I could remember the moment when he lowered his mouth to mine. I had been so certain he was going to kiss me, and it had been pure torture when he moved away before our lips touched. Maybe it was the realization that I might only have hours to live, but I felt a boldness I’d never felt before. “I don’t mind—if it does happen again.”
He gave me a sideways look that told me he had made up his mind up on that matter. His reaction didn’t daunt me. I knew he felt the same intensity I felt. I would never force him to act on that, but before the night was done, I would get him to at least admit it.
I sat up and stretched my back, wishing for a yoga mat.