“That would be great, actually.” Whether I needed it or not, I wasn’t about to turn down the offer. Her tea was delicious.
She left the room, leaving me and Enoch alone.
“I feel a lot better now,” I said with a slight smile.
“You shouldn’t have to feel better,” he scoffed. “My sister should leave you alone. She shouldn’t have attacked you, or set fire to your room, or poisoned you.” He clutched my upper arms. “I am so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe.”
“You have.”
“Says the woman who was just poisoned. I didn’t even recognize the taste until it was almost too late.”
“Enoch, it isn’t like you sip poison for fun. And you can’t hold yourself responsible for anyone else’s actions.”
“You do,” he said, pulling me in. My chest rose and fell against his. “You consider yourself to blame for everything Victor and Kael have done to us.”
“That’s different,” I argued.
“But it’s not,” he stressed. “Don’t you see? It isn’t different at all.”
“Then let’s both agree to stop.”
He closed his eyes. “I’m not sure how.”
“Me either.”
“All I know is that I love you. I want to be with you, to protect you. To love you. And I know you want the same. It just seems that the universe conspires against everything we want. How do we fight something so determined to thwart us?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered. “But we’ll figure it out. Together.”
He hesitated before nodding, and then placed a tender kiss at the corner of my lips. “Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine now,” I promised.
“I… if anything ever happened to you,” he said, his voice breaking.
I fought past the knot in my throat to reply, “Nothing will happen.” We both knew it was a lie. I could feel it seep in and form tension in the muscles along his back.
“Shouldn’t you check on Abram?” I asked.
He nodded, distaste curling his lips. “I should.”
“I know. I don’t want you to go either.”
“Come with me?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to see him right now.” Or ever again. “Just don’t kill him, okay?”
Have you ever seen a rope that was frayed so that only one strand remained to hold two thicker ends together? That was what Enoch looked like. Like he was barely in control. In seventeen-seventeen, agony was his anchor. In seventeen-seventy-seven, he had none but me.
I knew I couldn’t stay here forever. The steady throbbing of my head continued a staccato rhythm behind my eyes. It wasn’t an effect of the oleander; Kael’s poison was a thousand times more potent.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Enoch promised.
I pulled away, squeezing his hand. “I’ll be here.”
Titus slipped inside when Enoch was gone.
He shook his head in amazement. “I’ve been thinking maybe we should unlink him. If I can figure out how to only cut him out, that is.”
“The way he wants it so badly reminds me of how desperate 1776 was. He’s been turned, which means if he makes it back home, Kael will have Enoch’s venom.”
Titus cursed. “We can’t let him go back.”
I walked over to the window and looked down as Enoch paced below, tearing at his hair. The sight broke my heart. Asa stood a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest.
One of Benjamin’s men walked by and faster than a viper, Enoch grabbed hold of him, sank his fangs in, and drank. After a few kicks of his legs, the man slumped bonelessly to the ground. If Asa hadn’t stopped Enoch, he would’ve killed him. Or turned him. I wasn’t sure one was better than the other.
Titus stepped up beside me and watched. “He’s losing it,” he observed. “Every year we jump to, he’s a little less stable than the last.”
“I don’t know how to help him,” I admitted, the terrible feelings of helplessness resurfacing with a vengeance. But this time, it wasn’t sparked by the anticipation of jumping or a fear of the painful ‘landing’.
“Yes, you do,” Titus replied, standing straighter beside me.
Enoch hadn’t been himself since Abram and his sires set fire to everything he held dear. He tried to hide his torment from me the same way I’d been trying to conceal the pain and weakness seeping into my body. This was what despair looked like. The beautiful, ethereal man below me was broken.
My brain felt like it was being cleaved in two.
I pinched my eyes shut. And just like it had on the staircase, the world spun.
“Oh shit,” Titus whispered.
Terah approached her brothers. Hesitation weighed down her steps. Enoch caught sight of her and like a dog raises its hackles, he froze in place. Then he blurred to her and grabbed her by the throat, slamming her against the ground and roaring in her face.
Terah’s eyes bulged. Her face turned purple. She gasped, clawing at his hand. Asa pulled Enoch’s arm backward, trying to free Terah.
“He’s going to kill her,” Titus breathed.
“No, he’s not. No more killing.”
Enoch hated death. Hated that he had to feed. He’d just had to bury people he loved, again. I wouldn’t let him bury his sister for me.
I ran to the attic window. “You go first, and then pull me up.” Adrenaline and guilt flowed through me.
“We’re jumping now?”
“If we have to,” I hedged.
Titus eased out through the window and pulled himself onto the roof. Silently, he reached his hand down to me. I clasped his arm and let him help me up.
I hated heights. And this time, I wished someone could shove me like they did the first time I traveled. “You want me to do it?” Titus asked.
I shook my head. “Teammates. If we go, we go together.”
“Eve!” Enoch screamed from below. He loosened his grip on Terah’s neck and she scuttled away from him like the spider she was. Asa was a blur as he ran to help his sister. She coughed, gagged, and then vomited blood into the grass, painting it a slick, deep hue of red.
Enoch paid no attention to his siblings, raising his hands in surrender. “I stopped. I’m sorry.”
“You were going to kill her!”
“She tried to kill you!” he screamed back.
“I can’t let you tear yourself apart for me, Enoch. You need her as much as she needs you in the future.”
“No. Please. Don’t leave. Don’t do this now!” But this wasn’t just about him. Or Terah. Or even Abram. “I lost control, but I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again.”
I swayed on my feet, managing to find my balance before toppling off the edge. Maybe I had a brain tumor. The plutonium was supposedly contained. The radioactive substance wasn’t supposed to leak into our bloodstream, but maybe mine had.
“I have to get help, Enoch,” I called out, the solid beat of my pulse sending sharp lances of pain through my head. “I need to go – right now – and I need you to understand.”
Titus offered his hand. I slid mine into his.