“Actually, Suda Kaye has a studio apartment above her store, Gypsy Soul. Jas and I will share the studio for a little while.”
“That doesn’t sound very stable, honey. Are there no apartments or houses available for rent?”
“We did look, but this is free and ready now. No having to worry about putting Evie and Milo or Suda Kaye and Camden out by staying in their spare rooms, ya know?”
“Yes, I understand that, but a studio apartment is small. And I know you and Jasper are used to sharing space, but you’ll both eventually need alone time. You know how tense the two of you can get when you spend every waking minute together...” He let the reminder fall away, probably knowing I was a big girl and could handle my own relationship.
“This I know. But guess what?” I changed the subject a little.
“What? I like hearing that excitement in my girl’s voice.” He chuckled.
“Jasper and I have decided to kick our dream of owning our own bakery into high gear. We’re going to do it here. Well, actually, probably in Pueblo, in the empty store space right next to Suda Kaye’s boutique.”
“What?”
“Yeah! I can hardly believe it. We’ve been talking about it nonstop for two days.” I filled my papa in on everything planned to date and how much help my sisters and their mates were giving us. “So basically, we decided to just go for it!”
“Just go for it...” He repeated my own words, though when he said it didn’t sound pleased.
“Papa, why aren’t you excited? You know this is my dream.”
He sighed and cleared his throat. Was he crying?
“I’m happy if you’re happy, baby. You know that. All your dad and I ever wanted for you was to live out your dreams. It’s what we worked so hard for. And here you are, doing it.”
“Thanks, Papa.”
He laughed drily. “I just wish you weren’t doing it over a thousand miles away where your dad and I can’t participate or cheer you along the way good parents should.”
My shoulders sank, my excitement disappearing in a flash. That was the hardest part about my decision to be where my sisters lived. They were here, but my fathers were in Chicago. The longest we’d been apart was the eighteen months Jasper and I did our schooling in France and Italy.
“You know we’ll come home for important things. Or have you come visit. And the store we’re looking at has another studio apartment on top of it. Jasper and me will both have our own spaces, but we’ll share the business together.”
“It sounds amazing, Izzy. Truly wonderful. I honestly couldn’t be happier. Casey’s gonna freak when I tell him your news.”
“So you’re okay with the fact that I’m setting up shop in Colorado and not Illinois?”
“Sweetheart, you have to go where your heart leads you. If you want to get to know your sisters and have them in your life, Colorado is the best place to do that. Sure, your dad and I will miss having you close, but children grow up. They leave the nests. It’s hard, of course. We love you more than anything in the entire world. But that love doesn’t change based on where you live. It’s unconditional and yours until we take our last breaths.”
His words had me tearing up. “I love you, Papa. So much it hurts sometimes.”
“That’s how love should feel, baby. Don’t ever settle for a man who you don’t love with your entire being without knowing you’ve got that kind of love in return. When you share that special connection with the right person, you’ll be able to share that love with your children. God willing,” he added, not being shy at all about his desire to have grandchildren one day. Then again, he’d never been shy about his desire for me to procreate. My entire life he’d commented on things with, “When you have your own kids one day, Izzy,” or, “Just wait until you have a child. Your whole life has more meaning.” Yada yada.
“I know, I know.”
“I have to get back to work, honey. Mrs. Caravali’s rosebushes won’t cut themselves,” he teased.
“Wear your hat and tons of sunscreen. I don’t care that your brown skin never burns. There’s still a serious risk for skin cancer, and being a landscaper with his own business, you need to protect yourself!”
“Jeez, you sound just like your dad,” he admonished. “I will protect myself. And I’m excited for you, baby girl, and can’t wait to hear more about your business startup as you progress. I want regular updates.”
“You got it, Captain!”
He chuckled. “You doing okay? Getting to know your sisters?”
Holy crap. That reminded me why I called in the first place. “Yes, but actually something odd happened yesterday.”
“What?”
“They recognized the bracelet you guys gave me for my sixteenth birthday. They claim it was Catori’s.”
“It was your mom’s. She left it sitting next to that note I shared. We held on to it until you were old enough.”
I let out a long breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“She didn’t want us talking about her. It was the only way we thought we could honestly give you a piece of your mother without breaking our promise to her.”
For a full minute I didn’t say anything. I understood that Catori had had her reasons for staying away, but damn it to hell in a handbasket. I wished she’d made a different choice. I wished I’d had the time to know her. Really know her. Spend time understanding who she was, even if it was short-lived.
“Izzy?” Papa asked.
“Yeah, I’m here.” My eyes were leaking, tears running down my cheeks before I even realized I was crying.
“Baby girl, I’m sorry we lied to you.”
“I know. I get it. I really do. It’s just, facing all of this, getting to know these amazing women, learning about the woman my mother was...” My throat tightened and I swallowed around the cotton coating my tongue. “It’s a lot.”
“Baby, it would be a lot for anyone in your position. Understand that there is no right way to feel. You are entitled to experience this however it comes and feel whatever flows through you. Just be honest. Talk to me, talk to Casey, to Jasper, your sisters. Don’t bottle it all up or eventually, one day it’s going to explode. And that mess is far harder to clean up than accepting the truth about your emotions as they come. Your dad and I will never judge you. We’ve made a lot of our own mistakes, even some with you. There is no right way to raise a child, but we did the best we could. We are so damn proud of the woman you’ve become. Any time you want to unload on us, you do it. Okay, honey?”