Grover didn’t mind being left out of the conversation. He was content to sit back, hold Sierra’s hand and let her get to know the best friends he’d ever had in his life. It wasn’t even a question if the guys would like her, it was just a matter of how long it would take for her to have them wrapped around her little finger.
“Ember’s gonna freaking love hearing that it worked. I mean, she was hoping someone would contact the authorities somewhere and say that they knew where you were, but if seeing your picture made your captors uncomfortable, at least that’s something,” Doc said with satisfaction.
“I still can’t believe Ember Maxwell knows who I am,” Sierra said with a small shake of her head. “I mean, I’m nobody.”
“You aren’t nobody,” Grover insisted.
Sierra shrugged. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. But I had a lot of time to think over the last year. If I had been more…I’m not sure what the word is…Important? Charismatic? Loud? I don’t know. But I can’t help but think if I’d been more…noticeable, maybe someone would’ve tried harder to find me before now.”
Shame and regret almost overwhelmed Grover. “I should’ve tried harder to find out what happened to you. I shouldn’t have waited until that damn letter was delivered.”
“Oh, I wasn’t talking about you,” Sierra said immediately.
But Grover shook his head. “It’s true. One month,” he said. “That’s all it took from the time I got that letter until I found you. I could’ve spared you eleven months of hell, and I didn’t.”
“You can’t blame yourself,” Sierra told him.
“But I do,” he said softly.
“That’s totally crazy. Stupid. Ridiculous!” she exclaimed. “Grover, you didn’t even know me. You can’t take responsibility for every person you pass on the street. If you meet someone, and the next week they trip and fall on their face, are you gonna try to take responsibility for that too?”
He stared at her. Her face was in shadows, only the slight green of the glow sticks lightening the area around them. Her patches of hair were sticking up and she was frowning at him fiercely.
He’d never seen a woman more beautiful in his life.
Sierra glanced at the men around them. “Tell him that he’s being ridiculous.”
Trigger shrugged. “He did find you when others failed.”
“And I did notice you,” Grover told her. “Hair net and all.”
Sierra shifted so she was on her knees next to him. The long-sleeve uniform top she’d put on swam on her small frame, and even on her knees, she was only eye-to-eye with him. She shook a finger at him. “No! You aren’t allowed to feel guilty. If you do, then that’ll make me feel guilty for not being more careful like you said I should, all those months ago. And if I feel guilty, then I won’t be able to get over this as easily as I’d like. I’ll have nightmares for years and will probably have to take drugs that turn me into a zombie. I won’t be able to hold down a job and will have to go live in my parents’ basement and I’ll freeze to death because there’s no way I can handle negative-fifteen-degree temperatures anymore!”
She was breathing fast and her voice had risen by the time she finished her rant—and all Grover could do was laugh. Not at her, never at her, but at the situation.
“Okay, Bean,” he said, reaching up and grabbing the finger she’d been wagging in his face.
“Okay what?” she asked.
Damn, she was smarter than even he’d given her credit for. Grover grimaced. “I’ll try not to feel guilty.”
“Nope. Not good enough.” She turned to the guys. “Tell him,” she ordered.
Lucky, Oz, Doc, and Trigger looked lost.
“Tell him what?” Oz finally asked.
“Tell him that he doesn’t get to feel guilty about me being taken captive.”
“You don’t get to feel guilty about her being taken captive,” Oz repeated dutifully.
That Grover could agree to. He regretted not taking her disappearance more seriously. He regretted not doing what he could to try to find her earlier. And he regretted not having the time to torture Shahzada as much as he wanted. “I won’t feel guilty about you being taken captive,” he told her honestly.
Sierra eyed him suspiciously. “Why do I have a feeling you gave in too easily?” she asked.
Grover wasn’t about to tell her how right she was. “I may not have had a girlfriend in a while, but even I know better than to argue with a woman when she brings out the finger,” he told her.
“He’s right,” Lucky said. “The one time Devyn did that to me, I was scared shitless.”
“Sit,” Grover cajoled, gently tugging at Sierra’s hand. “And you should eat something again. Small snacks often will get your energy back faster than eating three large meals a day.”
“I know you’re changing the subject,” Sierra grumbled, but she nodded.
Doc and Lucky got up to relieve Lefty and Brain on watch duty.
“What’d I miss?” Brain asked as he sat nearby.
“You guys are conceited—rightfully so—you have amazing wives, and children, and Grover’s not allowed to feel guilty about my capture,” Sierra said with her mouth full of the bite of banana bread from the MRE they’d opened earlier.
Lefty chuckled. “All righty then. Guess you covered all the bases.”
“You think you can sleep, Sierra?” Trigger asked. “We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. We might have to walk ten miles, or we could be picked up by chopper, or something in between, but we need to be ready for anything.”
“I think so,” she said with a nod.
They all fell silent for several minutes, and Sierra stared at the ground, looking deep in thought as she ate the bread. When she finished, Grover felt her shiver. He opened his mouth to tell her he’d get one of the emergency blankets they always carried, when she turned to him.
“Do you think…” Her gaze dropped again.
Grover reached out and used a finger to tilt her face up to his. “What, Bean? Don’t be afraid to ask me anything.”
“I was wondering…You’re big, and I’m not…and you’re warm. I can feel your body heat even sitting here next to you. It’s not a huge deal and you can say no if it’s too weird—hell, never mind. It is weird.”
“What, Sierra? Don’t make me go back on my word on feeling guilty,” he threatened.
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re gonna bring that up anytime you want to get your way, aren’t you?”
“Probably,” he admitted. “Now spit it out.”
Looking around, Sierra seemed surprised that the other guys had all moved a bit farther away. They were getting ready to bed down themselves, using their packs as pillows and stashing the green glow sticks. The only illumination now was from the lone glow stick sitting in front of Grover and Sierra. He was relieved his teammates were giving them the illusion of privacy. From experience, he knew they could still hear everything going on around them, but Sierra didn’t necessarily realize that.