And inexplicably…Sierra was tongue-tied.
That had been the best sex of her life, but she was already having second thoughts about initiating it. Especially so soon after arriving in Texas. Should she have gone slower? Made sure Grover really wanted to be in a long-term relationship? If all he wanted was sex, she’d just made things very easy for him.
Just as her anxiety was ramping up, Grover ran a hand over her ass in a gentle caress and said, “That was amazing.”
Sierra nodded against him.
“I have to admit that I wasn’t prepared for it.”
“Um…you had a new box of condoms in the drawer next to the bed,” she replied.
“Yeah, but I hadn’t truly expected us to be here tonight.”
She stiffened. Yeah, she was an idiot. She’d moved too fast.
Grover obviously felt her discomfort because he rolled until she was under him. He got up on his elbows and held her face in his hands. Sierra felt surrounded by him, but not smothered. He kept the bulk of his weight off her but there was no doubt he wanted her complete attention.
“I didn’t expect it, but that doesn’t mean I’m not over-the-moon satisfied,” he told her. “For the record, in case there’s any lingering doubt, when I invited you to Texas, this is where I wanted us to end up. And when I talked about sharing my house with a woman for the rest of my days, you’re the woman I had in mind. I’m not worried about how fast things have moved between us, because I’ve been thinking about you for over a year. I couldn’t get you out of my mind after I met you in the chow hall in Afghanistan, and my feelings about you didn’t change even though you’d disappeared. And…” He paused, chuckling slightly. “Well, when you hear the stories about Doc, Oz, Brain, and the others, you’ll understand. Moving fast is kind of what we do.”
Sierra nodded. “When I decided to move to Texas, this is where I wanted us to end up too,” she clarified, echoing his sentiment. “Although maybe jumping you on your back deck on day one wasn’t exactly in my plans.”
“It was hot as hell,” Grover said with a smile, leaning down to kiss her forehead. Then he rolled them until he was on his back once more and she was on top of him again.
“Thank you for not…I’m not sure how to phrase this without sounding like an idiot.”
“You couldn’t be an idiot if you tried,” Grover told her.
Sierra wrinkled her nose and decided just to spit it out. “I appreciate you not treating me as if I’m a piece of glass. You know, asking me a hundred times if I’m sure, or questioning if I’m really ready. I know I’ve still got some things to work through in regard to my captivity, but I wasn’t raped. So my sexuality isn’t really one of them.”
“I wish I could say that all I was thinking about was how much I respected you and trusted you to know your own mind, but,” he shrugged, “I’m a guy. A man who’s wanted you for quite a while now. I’m afraid my brain kind of short-circuited when I finally got my hands on you.”
Nothing could’ve made Sierra feel better. She loved that he’d been as out of his mind with lust as she was. “Same,” she said quietly.
“With that said…I have to ask. I didn’t hurt you? You’re petite and I’m…not.”
Sierra smiled. “No. You didn’t hurt me. Not even close. I’ve never…Grover, I came before you got inside me. I was wetter than I’ve ever been.” She knew she was blushing, but was thankful that she wasn’t looking at him right that second. “You didn’t hurt me,” she finished.
“Good,” he said, and Sierra could hear the satisfaction and pride in his voice. “I didn’t last as long as I wanted. I’ll be better next time. Maybe. We do need to talk about your health though.”
“I’m clean,” she said immediately. “When I went to the doctor, they did tests. I don’t think they believed me that I hadn’t been sexually assaulted.”
“I didn’t mean that,” Grover told her. “I was talking more about your overall health. Has your period started again? You’ve gained a healthy amount of weight. What do we need to be on the lookout for as far as your body getting back to its normal routine?”
Sierra snuggled into Grover and his arm tightened around her. This should’ve been an embarrassing conversation, but somehow, with Grover, it wasn’t.
“No period yet, but the doctor says that’s normal. It could take up to six months, even with my weight getting back to where it should be.”
She felt Grover nod. “That’s kind of what I thought. It’s probably not smart to introduce a bunch of chemicals and hormones to your body when you’re trying to get back to normal. I have no problem using condoms. They aren’t one hundred percent effective though. If I need to, I can take more permanent measures to protect you.”
Sierra lifted her head at that. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, if it takes me getting a vasectomy to protect you from getting pregnant when your body is still healing, that’s what I’ll do.”
Sierra blinked. “But…that means you won’t be able to have kids.”
“Who says?”
“Um…biology?”
He gave her a small grin. “It’s probably too early to be talking about this kind of thing, and we can discuss it at length later, when and if we decide we want to have children, but vasectomies are reversible. Also, I could have some of my sperm frozen if adopting is out of the question for you. There are a ton of kids out there who need homes, and we could always go that route if we decide we want children.”
Sierra felt that tickle in the back of her throat once more, but as usual, no tears formed. She couldn’t believe he was willing to go to such extremes for her.
“I’m in this for the long haul,” he said seriously. “But I’m not willing to risk your health. Getting pregnant right now wouldn’t be safe. As good as you look and feel, your body is still healing from the trauma it went through. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you heal at your pace and without adding any more stress to your body.”
Sierra dropped her head and pressed her nose to the warm skin of Grover’s neck.
“Bean?”
“I just…that’s…I can’t ask you to do that, Grover. That’s crazy.”
“You aren’t asking. I’m willingly offering. Look at me, Sierra.”
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her head again, meeting his gaze.
“This isn’t a fling for me. You’ve gotten so far under my skin, I don’t think I’d survive if you left.”
He hadn’t gone so far as to say he loved her, but Sierra could see the truth in his eyes. She nodded. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” she finally whispered.
“You survived,” Grover said simply. Then he leaned up and kissed her lips, before urging her to lie back down. “We can talk about it later.”
Sierra took a deep breath. He was right. She wasn’t ready to talk about having children. And while she appreciated him wanting to look out for her, she wasn’t sure she wanted him to get a vasectomy either. She thought back to their conversation about children when they were prisoners. She’d told him she liked being unencumbered, and he’d admitted that he enjoyed being around older kids like Logan and Bria. That got her thinking about the number of older children who were in the foster care system.