This whole thing is a pig’s breakfast. It’s the last thing I need. I need to focus on hockey. We need to win. We’re heading in the last stretch of the season, when playoff spots and home advantage are nailed down. Pittsburgh is right on our tail in the standings. Nothing is guaranteed.
“How do you get her to school?” I ask Emerie, referring to Cat.
The slump of Emerie’s shoulders and her bowed head make my chest hurt.
“We walk,” she mumbles into her hands. “I’ll just go there in the morning and walk with her.”
“And then meet with Mr. D at noon.”
“Right.”
“I can drive you.”
“No, that’s okay. It’s probably better if you’re not with me.”
Damn. “Well, you can take my car.”
“Eeep. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that. I don’t drive much.”
I shrug. “It’s just a car.”
She lifts her head and gives me a crooked smile. “Thank you. You’re so good, Owen.”
My hand stills on her back. I don’t feel “good” right now.
“A good man,” she adds quietly, leaning into me. “I’m so lucky we met.”
I can’t argue with that. I feel lucky to have met her too, even though it’s definitely scrambled up my life.
“I don’t have much food in the place,” I say. “We can order something in for dinner.”
She nods.
“I’ll take your things into my room.” I stand and grab her suitcase then lug it into my room.
I’ve never had a woman even sleep over at my place, let alone move in.
“I have a lot of clothes appropriate for the beach,” she says on a mirthless laugh, following me. “Not much for February in New York.”
“I can loan you a sweater or something for tomorrow.”
She lays her palm on my cheek. “Thanks. Um, do you think that bed is big enough?”
A smile tugs at my lips. “It works for me.”
She throws herself down on it, spreadeagled. “It’s massive.”
“That’s what she said.”
She starts laughing, and I laugh too, and miraculously, tension and worries ease out of me. I study her beautiful, smiling face on my bed, and at this moment I feel like this is right. Like everything is going to be fine. Somehow, we’ll manage this.
I order food from a nearby place that has a lot of healthy selections, and we eat bowls with brown rice, lots of veggies, coconut, and green curry sauce.
“Do you cook?” Emerie asks me. We’re seated on the couch with the TV on, watching coverage of the Olympics that just started. “You must, to eat healthy all the time.”
“Yeah. I’ve learned to make some things. A lot of days I eat at the practice facility. In the off season, I train with a guy who taught me a lot about nutrition, and I try to follow what he says.”
“When’s your next game?”
“Not until the twenty-fourth.”
“What are you going to do with all your free time?”
I shrug. “Work out. Read. Watch the Olympics.”
“Yes! I love figure skating.”
I say nothing.
Emerie laughs. “Come on, real men watch figure skating.”
“Sure. You know what I like best? Other than hockey, of course.”
“Of course. What?”
“Those crazy skiers. Pretty much any kind. Slalom, ski jumping, free style.”
“Oh yeah! Right? They risk their lives every time.”
“It’s amazing.”
She seems a little less sad now. I’m happy about that. I still haven’t figured out what we’re going to do about this whole state of affairs. I want to go talk to Moretti and fuck him up. I want to go with her to talk to Mr. D tomorrow, but it’s probably better if I don’t. Maybe then he’ll let her move back in?
Maybe we should break up. For real.
That opens the door for Moretti to step right through.
That’s not fucking happening.
Shit. My mind’s going around in circles. We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
“Maybe we should fly to Vegas and get married.”
Emerie’s head whips around, her jaw hanging loose. “What?”
I rub my jaw. “I’ve been trying to figure out how we fix this. And I can’t.”
“Well, we can’t get married!”
“Yeah, I know.” I lean my head back into the couch cushions, my meal finished.
“I’ll talk to Vince tomorrow,” she says. “I’ll convince him to let me move back in for Cat’s sake.”
“You think that’ll work?”
Her lips tilt in a glum smile. “Probably not. I’m so sorry, Owen,” she whispers. “I should never have dragged you into this.”
“You didn’t know.” I pull her into my arms, and she snuggles up against my side.
It’s too late to break up. I could just do it if I didn’t give a shit about her. But I do. I give a lot of shit. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. I mean, I care.
A lot.
And she’s sure as hell not dating some other guy, even if it’s fake dating.
“We’ll figure this out,” I say.
“Okay, I have another idea.” She takes a deep breath and lifts her head. “I’ll tell Vince we broke up, and I’ll deal with whatever happens after that on my own.”
That suggestion doesn’t sit well with me either. I mull over why that is while studying her face. “I don’t want to break up,” I finally say. “And I don’t want to lie. And I don’t want you to deal with this on your own.”
Her eyes get glossy. “I don’t want to break up either.”
“Well.” I swallow. “Let’s wait until you talk to Vince tomorrow.”
She nods. “Okay.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Ha.”
“I bet I can distract you.” I bend my head and kiss the side of her neck.
She shivers. “That’s a good start.”
* * *
EMERIE
* * *
Seeing Cat is gut-wrenching.
She’s nearly in tears trying to understand what’s going on. I could punch Vince for doing this to her. Maybe I will.
“I asked him why, and he said you need to grow up,” she says, her voice high.
I grind my teeth. “Well, it’s true that I won’t live with you two forever.” I try for cheery optimism.
“But…but…”
“You’re getting older, too,” I say, meeting her eyes. I smooth some hair back from her face. “You’re getting more independent. And no matter where I live, I’m always here for you. I’ll always love you.”
She nods, her lips pouting.
“I don’t ever want you to feel alone,” I add. “So just know I’m always a phone call or text away. But you’ll still see lots of me.”
Usually after I drop off Cat at school, I head downtown and get my guitar then move from station to station to play and make music. But I can’t do that today. By the time I get somewhere and set up, it’ll be time to turn around and come back to meet Vince. I make a quick call to Mr. Cantor. I get voicemail, so I leave a message that I’ll be away a few more days. I know he’ll worry if I don’t show up.