We made it to the surface without any trouble. I stopped when the Door was within sight and moved to stand in front of the others, crossing my arms. The movement jarred the wound in my shoulder, and I hid a wince.
“What are you doing?” Laurie demanded. The question made Collith lift his head.
“Saying goodbye. I’m not going to Amsterdam with you.” Taking a page from Lyari’s book, I didn’t give them the opportunity to protest. I angled my body toward Gil and addressed the next part to him. “Again, you’re welcome to come back with me. Adam would probably be willing to help you control the bloodlust. He’s a good guy, I promise.”
To my surprise, the vampire moved so that he was standing next to me. “Couldn’t hurt to meet him, I suppose,” he muttered.
I knew Adam was only part of the reason he wanted to stay at my side, but I was grateful Gil didn’t reveal the rest of it. His sleeve brushed against mine, and subtle emotions pulsed from the bond. The same emotions I felt when I heard Matthew’s laugh, or saw Damon’s smile, or Emma put her arm around me. The same warmth that filled my chest every time I saw Gretchen pour a drink, or Bea punch numbers into her calculator, or Finn’s golden eyes turned toward me.
It was love.
Schooling my features into a hard mask, I looked back at the two faeries I’d dethroned. Collith’s face was carefully expressionless. Laurie, however, was frowning. “I thought we already discussed the danger of returning to Granby,” he said.
“You’re not the only one with a plan. Don’t worry about me.” My tone was dismissive, and I accentuated this with a flap of my hand. I hoped it disguised the way my heart had quickened. I didn’t let myself look at Laurie, because I knew—I knew—he’d see the truth in an instant. Gil hadn’t been the only one I formed a bond with during my time at the Seelie Court, and everything that happened between me and Laurie afterward had only muddied the waters more. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. Just like last night, though, I did know that I didn’t want to be separated from him. From them.
And that terrified me most of all.
“I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” I said, grateful that I sounded normal, at least.
There was another pause. No one else in the tunnel spoke. Laurie lowered his chin and leveled a look at me that somehow conveyed a dozen promises all at once. “Count on it,” he replied.
I’d been preparing for a debate, or maybe even an altercation of some sort. As the silence stretched, Gil edged away from the three of us, joining Lyari farther down the passageway. I didn’t move.
I could feel Collith watching us. Collith, who I’d been desperately in love with not so long ago. Collith, who still had an effect on me, no matter how many lies I told myself. Now that he was out of immediate danger, I refused to acknowledge him.
Which is why I startled myself by saying to Laurie, “It looked like he was stabbed with a holy blade. You may want to call a healer once you get to that safe house.”
As I turned to leave, I was half-afraid Laurie would snag my hand and pull me against him, regardless of our audience. But he didn’t, and I walked up the path unencumbered. Once I reached Gil and Lyari, I gave the vampire a tremulous smile. “Think of the woods outside Granby,” I told him.
“What the fuck is a Granby?”
For an instant, I almost had the urge to laugh. Almost. “It’s the town where I live,” I answered. “It’s just outside of Denver. Remember, you don’t have to know what the destination looks like. You just need to—”
“—express your desire to get there,” Gil finished. “Stop worrying about everyone else and get a move on, Nightmare.”
With that, he went the rest of the way up the path and vanished. Lyari must’ve lost patience with us and used the Door, since she was nowhere to be found. I cast another glance around the tunnel before I slowly followed my companions, strangely nervous. Why did the thought of going home make me apprehensive?
That didn’t matter right now. Letting out a tense breath, I shoved my aching hands into my pockets and ascended the sloped path. Once I reached the crack in the earth the others had already gone through, I was tempted to look back at Laurie and Collith. But I was afraid of what they would see in my expression, so I walked through the Door without pausing.
It was even colder aboveground. A gust of air greeted me, instantly chilling my skin, and the sky was the color of cotton candy. Gil had wandered a few yards away and stood between two trees, his back to me. This time, I did allow myself a moment, and I faltered in front of the stone doorway. Was there any chance I was still dreaming? Had we truly won? Closing my eyes, I took a long, deep inhale through my nose, and the sting of cold in my nostrils reassured me. An image of Collith’s battered face floated in the darkness. Truce over, I thought.
I opened my eyes and started in the direction of home.
It had been weeks since I’d walked among these trees. By all appearances, no one else had, either. There was no path or trail, and a layer of untouched snow covered everything. It crunched under my tennis shoes and slipped inside them, freezing against my bare ankles. Gil fell into step beside me, but Lyari stayed ahead of us, appearing sporadically through the white-laden trees. We didn’t talk for a while, and I mulled over everything that had happened since I’d learned the truth about Collith. About all the mistakes I’d made.
“I want to learn how to control my power,” I blurted, turning to Gil. “Will you help me?”
Silence met my request. The blond vampire arched his head back and gazed upward. I felt his pain as he thought about what he had lost, too. We’d been so focused on surviving that he hadn’t been able to grieve it. “I’ll help you,” he said.
“Thanks, Gil.”
There was so much we could have said after that. Regardless of the fact that we’d die for each other, this vampire and I, we were still strangers in a thousand ways. We may have known the shape of each other’s souls, but we didn’t have the small details. The insignificant facts that added up to an altogether significant being. And yet… neither of us spoke again. Not until we caught up with Lyari, who had stopped at the edge of a very familiar line of trees.
Twilight spread across the horizon behind the barn, making it look as if the structure were bleeding. Every window was a square of yellow light and multiple cars filled the driveway, one of them the van that I’d commandeered from the goblins.
Home.
Gil didn’t ask if we’d arrived. Not only could he probably see it on my face, he could feel it, too. I took a step forward, then hesitated. Until this moment, I hadn’t really given thought to how the others might feel about me bringing a newborn vampire into our lives. Haltingly I said, “Would you mind… waiting here? I haven’t seen my family since I was taken, and I just want…”
Gil dipped into an odd little bow. “Say no more. Your wish is my command, Conqueror of the Leviathan, Challenger of the—”
Just like that, the heaviness that had been surrounding us dissipated. I shoved him, scowling. “Shut your whore mouth!”
Laughter thickened in his voice. “Had I known I was in the presence of such greatness, I never would have turned my back.”