Once again, I almost stopped. Gil gripped my shoulders with his burning hands and propelled me forward. I shrugged him off and matched Laurie’s stride, never taking my eyes off him. “No. Please.”
It was the please that made Laurie’s jaw clench. Peeks and Gil must’ve also heard the shift in my voice, the vulnerability, because suddenly both of them changed their pace. Space appeared around me and Laurie, lending the illusion of privacy. Peeks took his light with him, leaving the two of us into near-darkness.
“There’s nowhere else, Fortuna. I’m sorry,” Laurie said as soon as the others had left. His remorse seemed genuine, but I knew this faerie prince was an excellent actor. I glared up at his lovely face, trying to find any flicker or twitch that would give away some sort of game. Some hidden agenda he might have for bringing me back to the place where all of this had started.
“What about my family?” I demanded finally. I must’ve raised my voice, because it echoed down the wet tunnel. I forced myself to calm down before continuing. “Do you really believe he won’t hurt them while we’re cowering underground?”
Laurie shook his head. “That’s not the Seelie way. Harming your family would be too brutal, too ugly. The werewolf was fair game at the hospital because that was a battle.”
I scoffed, and bitterness hung off the sound like icicles. “Seriously? Should I list off the things Belanor has done to me the past few days? Brutal doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
“He did most of those things in private,” Laurie countered, his eyes darkening at the reminder. “Out of the public eye. No one in our Court—besides Belanor’s inner circle—knew you were here. The elders turn a blind eye on the Games, which is how he was able to continue hiding you afterward.”
Laurie’s grim expression made me bite back the first response that formed on my tongue, and I noticed how his normally sensual mouth looked like a slash. He really believes the Unseelie Court is our best option. Swallowing, I fixed my gaze on that swinging lantern up ahead and wished it were moonlight. There was no moonlight where Laurie wanted to go, either. I was so tired of being under the ground, away from everything bright and alive and hopeful.
“There has to be another place we can lay low,” I said abruptly. “Do you know how many people at the Unseelie Court want me dead? There won’t be a dozen Guardians to stand in their way anymore.”
Laurie didn’t look at me as he answered, “Better to face them than the psychotic heir to the Seelie throne.”
I was about to protest again, but the words died inside my throat. He was right, and I knew it. Not only did Belanor have the Royal Guard at his disposal, but he had an entire nest of cherubim beneath the palace, as well. What of my own formidability, though? I’d been able to use my abilities on an entire room of faeries, along with a clearing full of black market sellers. It stood to reason that I should be able to defend myself and my family against anyone that wanted to hurt us.
And yet… I didn’t have complete control over that side of my power. It seemed to come and go, the force of it brought on by trauma or rage. I wasn’t willing to bet on the lives of my loved ones.
While I accepted the fact that we’d be returning to the Court of Shadows, our small party pressed onward through the network of tunnels. The level of the water seemed ever-changing. The stench came and went, too. Peeks paused twice, and both times, he chose a direction with a sense of purpose that I found reassuring. He either knew these tunnels or he’d prepared for this, and none of us questioned him. Not even Laurie, who had never gone this long without speaking.
Normally I wouldn’t think anything of it, considering where we were and all that had happened. There was something different about the way Laurie held himself, though—the tension in his shoulders, which were slightly slanted toward me, emanated anticipation more than fear—and I gave him a lingering glance.
Laurie glanced back. Our gazes caught and held, and I couldn’t have pulled away if I tried. I watched Laurie’s jaw set, as if he’d reached a decision of some kind. Before I could ask him about it, he finally voiced the question that must’ve been filling his head as we navigated these tunnels.
“Why didn’t you kill him?” Laurie said.
Considering I’d spared quite a few lives recently, the confused look I gave him was genuine. “Kill who?”
“Belanor. Why didn’t you kill him when you were inside his head?”
Laurie’s voice didn’t change, but the intensity in his eyes did. Oh, I thought. Now it was my turn to hesitate. The answer to this, a question that now consumed both of us, would feel like throwing a stick of dynamite on my life. I still hadn’t recovered from the last explosion. I’d been hoping to completely avoid this conversation, but I knew Laurie wouldn’t let that happen. When he wanted something, he was relentless. I’d begun to understand that about him already, and seeing inside his head had only furthered my knowledge of it.
Which was why there was a note of resignation in my own voice when I replied, “Because I didn’t want to be the one to kill your brother, Laurie.”
“Why not?” he asked instantly. I’d known this was coming, too—it was as inevitable as a tide. Fear rose in me, and it felt like I could hear that dynamite crackling, the bright light burning rapidly downward.
Gil spoke without warning, his cross words bouncing off the rounded walls. “Look, mate, can you just tell us when we’re getting out of this shithole?”
Gratitude surged through me, and I put my head down to hide it, pretending to concentrate on my progress through the water. I wondered if Gil had felt my agitation through the bond. I’d need to get a better handle on that, somehow.
“That would be a question for Rothilion,” I heard Laurie say. I looked up in time to see him nod at Peeks.
“Rothilion?” I echoed, wincing with sympathy. Jassin hadn’t even given his kid a chance.
Our guide didn’t look back, but his response floated to my ears. “Peeks was a nickname my brother gave me, because of how I peered around doorways before entering a room,” he said. “Well, my brother in mind and soul, if not in blood. We did everything together, Thuridan and I.”
“Thuridan?” I echoed, my interest perking. It wasn’t exactly a common name, and Peeks was from the Unseelie Court. He had to be talking about the same Thuridan that had publicly accused me of murdering Collith. I wasn’t sure what it was about him that made my instincts rattle. But my voice betrayed nothing as I added, “I’ve met him, I think. He returned to Court when he heard about…”
When he heard about Jassin, I’d been about to say. Although Peeks seemed to have positive feelings toward his father’s murder, it didn’t seem kind to remind him of it. The death of a parent was always significant, regardless of the circumstances that came before it.
Even so, I wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass me by. I’d been wanting to learn more about Thuridan for weeks, especially after I discovered how Lyari felt about him. My friend could certainly protect herself, but what was the harm in making sure Thuridan wasn’t a complete asshole?
I cleared my throat and ventured, “Your brother seems to have a history with my Right Hand. Do you still have a relationship with him? How did you end up here and he didn’t?”