“I’m not going to die,” he says. “I promise. I didn’t dispatch those thugs just to die over a drink and a puff.” He lights his cigar. “As for Roy, you won’t have to worry about him ever again.”
“What happened to him? The police said they couldn’t find him.” I have no idea what Tolyan did and am dying of curiosity. Letting him go isn’t something I can imagine Tolyan doing, but Roy is missing. Did he manage to distract Tolyan and run away anyway?
“He went someplace far, far away, where he can never come back and hurt you.”
Tolyan speaks tenderly, like he’s reciting a love poem. But my heart beats funny at the memory of him slipping into the house of the man who supposedly committed suicide.
“Is he…dead?” I whisper.
“No,” he says. “He isn’t.”
I exhale, volatile emotions mixing inside me. I can’t decide if I’m relieved or disappointed or scared. Maybe it’s a little bit of everything. Even though the police couldn’t find the body, I thought Roy had been killed, just like the three men he hired.
If he’s still alive, that means I assumed wrong and Tolyan let him go. Roy could’ve lied to Tolyan and promised he’d never bother me again. Pleaded for mercy and somehow got it.
But that doesn’t mean my stepbrother’s going to keep his word. He can always come back to finish the job. And kill Tolyan, too, like he’s ranted and raved that he would. I bet he wouldn’t have been granted mercy if Tolyan had heard that particular speech.
He leans over with a small grunt, then pats my hand. “It’s fine. I swear on the grave of my mother that he will never bother you again, little fawn. You’re safe.”
I hold his gaze. Tolyan’s pale gray-blue eyes are steady, and there’s a monumental conviction and confidence to his tone. He wouldn’t be saying this if he had even the slightest doubt.
My whole body collapses like melting wax as the tension dissipates. It feels strange to know Roy’s gone from my life, and I feel wrung out. Contrary to what I imagined, relief is only a tiny sliver of the emotions going through me. Rage over all the years lost. Sorrow for the people he hurt. A small bit of uncertainty over a future that won’t have a dark specter hanging over me. I used to think it was silly when some workaholic would come into a café I worked at and whine, “Can you believe I actually have a weekend off? What am I going to do with all that free time!”
But now I understand exactly.
All my hopes have been vague. Going to college is one of the things I wanted to do, but I never thought beyond that—nothing about which school, what to study. Hell, I don’t even have a valid SAT score to submit. And that isn’t the only fuzzy dream I’ve been harboring. I should give myself a few days—at least—to plan out my future, give it a more concrete shape.
I finally sit back up. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He winces as he straightens and sinks back into the armchair.
“I still wish you hadn’t been hurt.”
“I’ve been hurt worse.” He tosses it out casually, like that makes everything better.
“You just don’t get it, do you? The point isn’t how badly you’ve been injured before. It’s that you’re injured at all!” I start to hyperventilate. “It isn’t something to brag about.”
He gives me a long stare. “Back at the hospital, you said you wanted honesty. I’m giving it to you.”
I shake my head, trying not to be exasperated. He’s either purposely twisting what I said, or really is this obtuse. My money’s on the former. “What I want is for you to honestly accept that you should’ve never risked yourself like that. It was too dangerous.”
He gives me a lazy look. “I was never in any danger.”
“Really? Because it looks to me like you kinda got stabbed there. I’d call that danger.”
He finishes half his vodka, then lets out a long sigh. “I will say it again. I wasn’t in any danger. And you weren’t, either. I knew the day Roy was in town.”
“What?” Shock stiffens my back. “Why didn’t you say something?” Then I remember I avoided even looking in Tolyan’s direction once I discovered he’d hacked into my phone and pretended to be me. Was he in too much of a snit to tell me? Argh! “I mean, we were still sort of fighting, but I would’ve listened if it was about my stepbrother.”
“You were upset about being bait. I didn’t want to make the situation worse. I was hoping to take care of him without involving you at first, but then…” He knocks back the rest of his drink. “I couldn’t.”
From the inscrutable expression on his face, I don’t think his inability to carry out his original plan was due to Roy being particularly clever. If that were the case, Tolyan would’ve looked frustrated or annoyed. Maybe both. “I don’t understand.”
“You were going to leave me once I took care of Roy. I didn’t want that.”
That’s… I don’t know what to say to the admission. I was so furious that I was considering leaving, but I wouldn’t have just walked out without a word. Getting rid of Roy means so much. No more looking over my shoulder. No more freaking out every time I see a speeding car.
“Then you should’ve made your case,” I say quietly. “You’ve been so quiet since the argument. I thought you didn’t care enough to make me understand.”
“I’m not good at explaining myself. I don’t talk. I execute. And I make my point by executing.”
My sixth sense tickles the back of my neck. It’s a warning: if I press, Tolyan’s going to say something I don’t want to hear. But I meant what I said about wanting honesty. I don’t want to be caught unaware and get angry with him. I’m tired of being angry, especially when he’s hurt. “What did you execute? What point were you trying to make?”
“I wanted to show that I’d take a bullet for you—”
I explode to my feet. “Oh my fucking God, what?”
“—but that failed. So I settled for taking a knife instead.”
“Oh my God!” I shriek. “You’re crazy!”
The cigar makes a small arc in the air. “It’s a small price to pay to make a point.”
His placid, matter-of-fact tone is like pouring gasoline on the proverbial fire. “What point? That you’re an idiot? That you don’t care about your well-being? Or that you have a death wish? If you’d gotten shot at that distance, you would’ve died!” Actually, never mind all that. If I’d known, I would’ve killed him myself first!
“That’s why I said it failed, but really, it was the quality of the lowlifes involved.”
“Let me get this straight. You’re irritated that the bad guys weren’t high-quality enough?”
“They didn’t fire fast enough. My knife got the guy in the center before he could clear his gun.” Tolyan shrugs. It means, What am I supposed to do when the other guy is so awful?
“You are insane.”
“But things worked out well enough.” He points to the bandages on his torso.