“No, I’m not.” I’m planning to hurt him. Two very different things.
“He didn’t do anything, honest. It’s me.”
“How so?”
Sighing, she reaches for her glass of burgundy and drinks it. “It’s just…” She sighs again. “He’s so in love with Elizabeth.”
Yes, which is another reason—albeit a minor one—he’s alive.
“They’re such a team,” she adds. “A unit. A family.”
I process that, unsure of how exactly that’s making her distracted. Or why seeing Lizochka and Dominic together is worthy of two sighs from the little fawn.
“They anchor each other. No matter what happens in their lives, they’re going to be okay as long as they have each other.” She sighs again. A tinge of longing threads the soft exhalation of breath.
Ah. She wants the same for herself. A team. A unit. Family. An anchor to keep her grounded.
But she already has that. We’re together. We’re a team. A unit. Family in all but name.
Before I can respond, she adds, “What they have is so tight and strong, it feels permanent.”
“Divorces are easy to get,” I point out.
Angelika shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s in their future. You can tell with some couples, you know? They’ve made the ultimate commitment to each other, and they aren’t going to break it.”
Sudden clarity slams into me. She wants commitment, something that can reassure her. She lost her parents when she was a mere eighteen, and after that—for eight years—she was on the run. Although the last two years have been different, adjusting can be hard. Sort of similar to how people struggle to adjust to normalcy after a long battle with terror, whether it’s personal or something broader like a war.
“You’re one of my Five,” I tell her.
Confusion clouds her whiskey eyes. “Five what?”
“The five people whose safety I put above all else. It used to be four, but now it includes you.”
“Um. Thank you…?” Angelika looks at me uncertainly. “Who else is in the group?” she asks. Does she think it only has women?
“Lyosha, Lizochka, Thomas and—unfortunately—Dominic.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders relax.
“And just to be clear, you’re number one out of the Five.”
She blinks, then opens and closes her mouth a few times, like she’s struggling to find the right words. “But… Lyosha’s your son.”
“He’s a big boy, and he’s capable of taking care of himself. You, on the other hand, are too innocent and sweet. Besides, a man should always guard his greatest treasure with the utmost care.”
Now it isn’t just her cheeks that are flushed. Her neck’s rosy as well, her eyes shining.
My fawn is so lovely.
“Would Lyosha be upset to know he’s not your number one?” she asks quietly. “For all we know, he might not approve of our relationship.”
For God’s sake. I can’t decide if I should laugh or groan with frustration. “He’s my child, not my lord and master.”
“But… I thought that was the biggest reason you didn’t want to take our relationship further than…” She shrugs. “You know, us living together.”
“I want to wait until your graduation.”
“Why?”
“It’s a milestone. A big one.” And one she’s pursued for quite a while, so I want her to enjoy reaching it without any major distractions. The weight of the small velvet box in my pocket feels especially intrusive right now. I’ve been carrying it since she started at UCLA. I continue, “Besides, before we commit, you might want to know about my past, something I’ve never shared with anybody.” And it isn’t something I can share, not even with her. It’s classified and safer for her to stay ignorant of. Still, not knowing might bother her. Most of the women in my past weren’t happy with my “secretive” nature.
“Actually, I don’t,” she says. “You can do things most assistants can’t, even if they’re in charge of security. So I figured you were, like, a Russian SEAL or something and did some things you can never talk about without getting dragged into some dungeon hellhole jail that nobody knows exists.”
Well, well, well. There goes…my concern…
“Anything else you’re worried about?” she asks.
Her matter-of-fact tone unsettles me for some reason. It’s worse than the first time I was put on a termination mission. Still, she’s looking at me expectantly, so I go to the next possible area of concern. “An engagement is a big step, and can be exhausting. You’re busy with going to school full-time and working at the foundation. Knowing you, you’re going to want to plan the wedding if we get engaged, and I don’t want you to overextend yourself when you should be having fun in college with your peers. I doubt you’d want me to plan our wedding.”
Her eyes sparkle brighter as she leans forward on the table. I want to grab her and kiss her. Instead, I take a swallow of my vodka, giving time to let my words sink in.
“I’m really good at juggling things.” Her voice is lighter than a cloud. “I used to work three jobs, remember?”
“But none of them were full-time,” I say. She spends a lot of her time studying, keeping up excellent grades. Economics and math aren’t exactly the easiest majors, either.
“If you wait too long, I might meet somebody,” she says in a teasing tone. “Then what?”
“Hopefully he’ll have a few spare lives lying around.” I smile. Lethally. Possessively.
She raises both eyebrows. “What if you meet somebody?” She says it lightly, but there’s an undercurrent of worry. Ah, my little fawn.
My smile grows wider. “I hope you become extremely jealous and kill her. I’ll even give you the code to enter the armory.”
Laughing, she shakes her head. “You’re impossible. But really, why wait? I wasted so much of my life running from Roy. I don’t want to waste more. I want to jam-pack it with all the joy and happiness I can. And you’re the greatest of those joys, Tolyan.” She reaches out and takes my big, rough hand in her small, soft one and threads our fingers together.
I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the back gently. “Are you sure?”
“Couldn’t be surer. I want us to be family, each other’s anchor and root. I want my forever with you.”
“In that case, I’ll adjust my timeline.” I reach into my pocket and pull out the velvet box that I’ve been carrying for so long.
Her hand flies to her mouth as I open the lid and show her a gorgeous diamond sitting on an elegant platinum band. “Oh my God! How long have you had it?”
“Since you entered UCLA,” I tell her. “Will you make me the happiest man alive, Angelika Wilks?”
Her breath shudders, and she looks at me with all the love in the world. Tears glitter in her eyes.
I kiss the back of her hand again. “Will you marry me, little fawn?”
She nods hard. Once. Twice. Then she drags in air. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, and we share the most beautiful kiss, full of love and a bright future.