I start to tell Connor about it, but I hear the vagueness of my own words and cut short before I spill it all. My crew already thinks that I'm superstitious. They don't believe in the evil eye, but I've seen the consequences of people's jealous thoughts. I know how much damage they can do.
It's why I try to surround myself with positivity.
It's why I value my friends so much.
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
Luna reaches across the aisle and touches my arm. "You're looking very serious today," she says. "You got something on your mind?"
"Just ghosts." I cover her tiny pale hand with my broad darker one. "But all the ghosts disappear when you're around."
Her hand squeezes my arm gently. "Mine too," she whispers.
We smile at each other in that warm, melted butter kind of way that comes with being completely comfortable in another person's presence.
When she draws her hand away, looking around, conscious that we are surrounded, I do the same.
We need to be watchful, Connor said. We need to make sure that our feelings for Luna don't blind us to any potential threat.
As I scan over the other people on the plane, my eyes meet Marcus's. He nods and curls his mouth into that smirk, and unease snakes through me.
Maybe he's just being friendly and polite. Maybe he's just one of those people who never quite fits in wherever he is but keeps trying anyway.
Or maybe he's trying to tell me without words that he saw the intimacy between Luna and me.
Paranoia isn't a good feeling to live with.
I've gone years suspecting everyone around me, never certain who was a friend and who was foe. I don't want to experience that again.
Our ghosts continue to shape us unless we work on dealing with them.
I haven't done that yet, but maybe it's time.
Maybe I can only be the man Luna deserves if I try.
We land in Melbourne and spring into action, hustling Luna into a new waiting car and then into a new luxurious suite on the top floor of Melbourne's most prestigious hotel.
It's evening, so I'm expecting Luna to tell us to lock the doors and come into her room. I'm expecting her to beckon us until we're all sliding between her thighs, finding pleasure and peace in her body, reveling in those feelings for as long as it lasts.
But she doesn't.
"I want to swim in the ocean now," she says.
"But it's dark." Ben glances at the inky black sky visible through the floor-to-ceiling windows that make up one side of the VIP suite.
"That's why," Luna says. "No one will be there. I can enjoy the water and not have to worry about paparazzi or fans or crazed stalkers."
"You don't have to worry about those things," Connor says. "Those things are for us to worry about, and we worry about them as much at night as we do in the day."
"I know." Luna pads toward him, throwing her arms around his neck. "You take care of me as if I'm priceless."
"You are." He dips down and gently kisses her lips.
"I'm just a girl," she says softly. "Just a girl, asking a boy if he'll take her swimming in the dark, away from prying eyes."
"You know that you don't play fair, Ms. Evans," Connor says.
"It should be okay," I say, never wanting to see Luna as down as she was in Berlin. "Some of us can stay on the shoreline.”
Luna shakes her head. "I want us all to do this. I want to make this memory so I can hold it in my heart. The other day it was nice, but I couldn't relax. There were too many people, and you guys couldn’t just hang out and be yourselves. I want this time for us."
Connor scans the room, meeting the eyes of each of us. He's seeking out our approval to do something that we all know could be dangerous. He's tired of shouldering all of the responsibility alone, and I understand that.
We're all in this forbidden relationship with a girl who is still trying to find out how to be happy and live her dreams. We're struggling to work through our own feelings and pasts in the process. He's not the only one who should be making these decisions. We are eight people. We all need to take responsibility for ourselves and for each other.
"Okay," Asher says, reaching out to take Luna's hand. He broke first once, and it seems he'll always be the one to give in where Luna's concerned.
She beams and hugs Asher, taking time to send each of us a smile so grateful that it should warm us to the bottom of our damaged souls. "I won't be long." Trotting off to get changed, we trudge off to each root around in our cases for swimwear that we packed, never believing we'd actually need it.
We never believed that we'd allow ourselves to step so far over the line with our client.
It's funny how little we really know ourselves until we're tested.
The sea at night is a totally different animal.
Water, which during the day is clear enough to see your feet, suddenly becomes opaque and inky black. It turns from something welcoming to something with unfathomable dangers.
After scanning the shore and finding that we're alone, we strip silently, as though each of us understands that Luna wants this to be a tranquil memory. She's chosen to wear a black two-piece that perfectly fits with the oil-slick sea, and she's the first to dip a toe into the water.
"It's still warm," she says in a voice that is high with surprise.
"The sun warms it during the day," Asher says. "This time of year, it probably never gets much cooler."
As we wade in, I watch my Steel 7 brothers, taking in their constant watchfulness but also the other element of their protective feelings toward Luna. I see the beginnings of feelings of tenderness and care in the way they gather, careful not to cramp her style. I see their gentle touches to her arm and brief caresses to her face that have nothing to do with sex and everything to do with love. I see all the things that we shouldn't be feeling, and I see them in Luna too.
"This is perfect," she says. Then she holds her nose, dipping under the water and rising with her hair slicked around her face and trailing down her back. Her shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath as though she’s trying to draw in everything around her for safekeeping.
"The smell of the sea is intoxicating," I tell her. Beneath the water, her hand finds mine, and my heart skips a beat.
When she moves closer, her wet skin already cooler than mine, I don't tell her that it's a mistake. We're in public, and we made a promise not to do this, but with the darkness resting like a cloak around us, all caution seems to slide away.
Her wet lips find mine, and as I kiss her back, I taste the salt of the sea and the unending sweetness that is Luna. All around us, the other six other people who make up our strange relationship gather closer. Luna, conscious always that there are many of us, slides out of my arms and into the waiting arms of another. Elijah cradles her to his chest, nuzzling into the warmth of her neck. Then she's moved to embrace Ben, touching his face softly, and his hands graze her body beneath the water. Asher is next, his artist's fingers tracing circles through the beaded water resting on her shoulders. She shivers, breaking out into goose flesh as Connor embraces her from behind. She's so tiny between the protective bodies of my friends, but she doesn't rest there long. Jax, with his ever-present smile, swoops in for his own embrace, and lastly, Hudson waits patiently for his turn.