Then he unrolled his sleeping bag and slid into it. On the floor.
She stared up at the ceiling, waiting for the familiar panic. Or at least unease.
Neither came.
She let out a breath and dropped a hand over the side of the bed.
Reaching up, he slipped his into hers. “Sweet dreams, Charlotte.”
For a beat, she lay there, taking in the room. Quiet. Warm. Dark. She could hear Mateo’s steady breathing from the floor.
Hers wasn’t steady. In fact, she might not be breathing at all. Because it was decision time. Right here, right now. If she was going to face her fears, there was no better man to do that with than Mateo. She knew this because every time she was anywhere in his proximity, she felt a calm wash over her, as well as a sense of anticipation. The very best kind of anticipation. It was like her body recognized him as a soulmate.
Even as her brain pretended such a thing didn’t exist.
She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to give one horrific memory the power to steal away the hope of a happy future. She wanted to reach out and grab what was hers for the taking.
She was scared. Terrified, actually. But she was also a hundred percent positive she was doing the right thing. “Mateo?”
“Yeah?”
She slid out of her bed. “Move over?”
He scooted and made room for her, and she crawled into his sleeping bag.
Chapter 25
The next day Jane grabbed her lunch bag from the Homeward resort’s staff fridge where she’d stashed it and headed outside. The temp was a brisk thirty-two degrees, but in the sun at high altitude, it would feel warm and glorious. And after five hours in the packed urgent care, she needed some warm and glorious.
But even working as hard as she did in Tahoe, she enjoyed the work. For one thing, she didn’t see the death and gore up here as she did for the rest of the year.
But the biggie, the thing that kept her coming back, was the connections she’d made in spite of herself. She’d grown roots here. Her relationship with Charlotte. Mateo. Even Cat. Her grandpa . . . And she knew the list wasn’t complete without Levi on it, no matter how temporary they were.
Temporary.
She’d always considered that word to be a part of her personality.
And now that she’d fulfilled her promise to be his pretend girlfriend for his parents’ anniversary dinner— She froze halfway to a table. She’d fulfilled her promise to be his pretend girlfriend.
There was no need for Levi to see her anymore.
Little black dots danced in front of her eyes and she realized she wasn’t breathing. Gulping in air, she put a hand to her aching chest. For the first time in her life, she’d begun to settle, feeling things that were the very opposite of temporary.
And it was over anyway by her own decree when she’d extracted that ridiculous promise from Levi in the very beginning.
The snow crunched beneath her feet as she began walking again, making her way through the maze of skiers to a small, empty table.
Was it over?
Would she see him again?
And what business did she have for wanting to so badly her heart was threatening to pound out of her chest?
When she opened her eyes again, she wasn’t alone.
Shirl and Tess were seated opposite her, smiling.
“Heard you made an appointment for Cat to get spayed,” Shirl said, looking pleased.
Jane had to clear her throat to speak. “We decided to keep each other. My friend Charlotte offered to keep feeding her after I’m gone, so she’ll always have a home. What are you doing here?”
“We’re not stalking you or anything,” Shirl said.
Tess snorted. “We’re totally stalking you.” She looked recovered from her shocking pregnancy reveal last night. Serene and calm. “But we’re the good kind of stalkers, because . . .” She opened a large lunch box. “We come bearing food.”
“Thanks, but I brought my own.” Jane pulled out a banana, a yogurt, and a package of peanut butter crackers, all pilfered from Charlotte’s kitchen because she hadn’t had a chance to get to the store. Oh, who was she kidding. She hated going to the store, she always waited until she was half starved to death, and by then Charlotte had stocked her up.
Shirl looked over Jane’s lunch and shook her head. “That’s just sad.”
“I packed at five this morning,” Jane said in her defense. “I wasn’t feeling like much then.”
“How about a meatloaf sandwich?” Shirl asked.
“It’s her special recipe,” Tess said. “It’s crackalicious.”
“It doesn’t contain real crack,” Shirl said. “I do have a few secret ingredients in there, but they’re all perfectly legal, I promise you.” She pushed a glass container at Jane. “Brought you one.”
“How did you know I’d be able to eat with you?”
“Just hoping.” Shirl smiled. “I wanted to tell you how good you are for Levi.”
Jane’s smile faltered as she realized the depths of the deception she and Levi had laid out and how it was not only going to destroy herself—something she was trying to come to terms with—but also hurt others. In trying to make his mom happy, they were now about to do the very opposite. “You know I’m leaving soon,” she said carefully.
“Yes.” Shirl reached for Jane’s hand. “And you know about Amy?”
Jane nodded.
Shirl and Tess exchanged a knowing look.
“What?” Jane asked.
Shirl squeezed Jane’s fingers gently. “Amy was his best friend for years and years. And then his girlfriend. And then his fiancée.”
“I get that.”
“But you might not get that he hasn’t really let another woman in since. You’re the first. That’s how we knew before we’d even met you that you had to be special.”
“Because I’m Levi’s girlfriend,” Jane said quietly, hating the facade she and Levi had created.
“No, because you’re Jane Parks.”
Jane froze, feeling that definitive statement clear through her heart like an arrow had pierced it. How ironic that all her life she’d shied away from commitments to keep her heart safe, only to fail utterly here. Because what she felt for Levi was shockingly real, and now she was going to hurt his family, who didn’t deserve it.
“At least take a bite,” Shirl said, nudging the meatloaf sandwich closer.
Not knowing what else to do, Jane took a bite of the sandwich and— “Oh my God.”
Tess smiled. “Right?”
Shirl just sat back, looking pleased.
Jane practically moaned her way through the entire sandwich and just barely managed not to lick the container when she was done.
“Here.” Levi’s mom was going through her phone, tapping away, and then Jane’s phone buzzed with a text. “The recipe.”
“Are you kidding me?” Tess asked. “I’ve been asking you for that recipe for years.”
“You don’t need the meatloaf,” Shirl said.
“Was that a fat joke? I’m pregnant, not fat.”
“Honey.” Shirl reached out and hugged Tess. “Of course that wasn’t a fat joke, you’re perfect. I just meant that you don’t need the recipe because I’ll always cook it for you. You’ve given me Peyton, and now another sweet grandbaby is coming . . .” She put her hand on Tess’s still-flat belly. “And you indulge me by living at home and letting me be part of their daily village.”