Heather wiped her hands down her striped nightshirt, then, yanking Merrin’s head upright, she gathered the two sides of her hair.
‘So, Merry, which is it to be, sides up or sides down?’ Her mother stood tall, repeatedly pulling the hair up into a knot at the back of her head and then letting it fall.
‘I don’t know, either. You choose.’
Her mother tutted. ‘You can’t say either; they are entirely different looks!’ Once again she pulled her younger daughter’s hair into shape. ‘What do you think, girls?’
‘Up,’ Ruby shouted.
‘No, down, hide as much of her mug as possible.’ Bella laughed and the girls high-fived.
‘You’re not helping!’ Her mum wiped her forehead and took a breath; she looked close to tears.
‘Mum, it’s not worth fretting over; it’s only hair, who cares?’
‘Who cares?’ she barked. ‘I do, and you certainly should! It is these small things that will make a difference. Look at Cousin Peter’s wedding: there was Uncle Peter, a managing director, no less, and I know I’ve already told you that when Aunty Margaret needed a hysterectomy, she had it done on Bupa.’
‘You have!’ Bella and Ruby chorused, snickering.
Undeterred, Mrs Kellow continued, ‘Money to spare they’ve got, but no one thinks about the amazing riverside venue or the pre-dinner canapés at Peter’s wedding, which I know for a fact cost twenty-nine pounds a head. No, if they think about it at all, the only thing they picture is Aunty Margaret’s furry fascinator!’
Merrin pinched her lips together tightly, a trick she employed to stop inappropriate comments popping out of her mouth. It worked. Ruby and Bella were not so practised and sprayed their laughter into the room as they clung to each other, wheezing the words ‘furry fascinator!’
‘Honestly, Mum, no one will care about whether I have sides up or down. I promise you.’
‘I need you to care about these things!’ Her mother was pleading now.
‘But I don’t, not really. I don’t care so much about the wedding. I just want to be married.’
‘For the love of God!’ Her mum seemed to fold, and slumped in the old leather wing-back chair by the side of the range. ‘I’m getting one of my headaches.’
‘Merry’s right, Mrs K, you shouldn’t worry. Why don’t you call your sister and get her to wear that furry fascinator, then that’ll be the talk of the town and no one will give a rat’s arse about Merrin’s hair?’
Heather Kellow pushed her thumbs into her eyes, as if to release some unseen pressure, and sighed. ‘I’m trying very hard to make everything perfect for her big day. That’s all.’
Merrin sat up straight. ‘I wonder why it’s called a “big” day? And not a “medium” or a “little” day? I mean, in the scheme of things, compared to what you might go through or achieve in your life, it may turn out to be rather insignificant.’
Her mum gripped the worn arms of the chair and sat up a little. ‘Rather insignificant? It’s your wedding day! And in a few hours, you shall be getting married, and I’m finding it difficult, Merrin Mercy, to keep my patience. Your dad and I have been working for months to give you the day you deserve, the day that we have always dreamt of for you! And I don’t want the likes of Loretta Mortimer and her lot looking down her nose because I’ve got your hair wrong or because your dad’s got his Truro City tie on!’
‘I just don’t see why it all matters!’ She spoke the truth. The sound of her mum catching her breath, a prelude to tears, sent the room silent. Ruby and Merrin exchanged an awkward look, allies rather than competitors at that moment.
‘What have I done now?’
‘It’s what you haven’t done that bothers me, Merrin!’ Her mother dabbed at her eyes with three squares of loo roll that she had folded into a little blotter. ‘I’ve had to make all the decisions with Loretta; she insisted I got involved but I felt like I was at work! It wasn’t fun for me. I’ve helped her choose the centrepieces for the table, picked the font for the invites, I even selected the bloody hymns.’
Merrin knew her mum was upset if she was using the B word. She hated to see her mother so agitated and knew that Digby’s mother could have the same effect on him, remembering the day he had pitched up at the hotel where she was waitressing, his expression downcast as he reached for her and pulled her to him in the car park.
‘You all right, love?’ She had kissed his cheek as he leant against her.
‘I am now. I just needed to be near you.’ He had placed his face on her head and breathed her in.
‘What’s the matter?’ It was rare to see him like this.
‘Do you ever feel like running away?’ He pulled her closer still, as if she were a life force.
She had looked out at the sparkling water and the sun peeking through the light cloud, sending rays down to the sea. Her dad was fixing nets on the harbourside and the door to the cottage was, as ever, propped open.
‘No,’ she admitted. ‘Never.’
‘You’re lucky.’ He had held her eyeline.
‘We’re lucky,’ she corrected.
‘Yes.’ His expression had changed then, as if in relief. ‘We are lucky.’
Heather’s voice drew Merrin from the memory. ‘She’s made it quite clear that I don’t know the first thing about good taste and, in truth, Merrin, once or twice I felt so cornered I nearly ran away from her, but God only knows the trouble that might have caused between you and Digby, so I stayed put.’ Her mother took a deep breath, as though trying to calm herself.
‘You get married in a few hours and I have done my level best to give you and Digby a special day, one that you will both talk about for years to come, one that will make Aunty Margaret and the Mortimers realise that we are a family to be reckoned with, that Daddy is someone too!’
‘Why do you care what Aunty Margaret or the Mortimers think? It’s my wedding, not theirs! All I care about is making a home with Digby, looking after him . . . waiting for babies!’ She smiled.
Ruby mimed retching and put her two fingers into her mouth. Merrin ignored her.
‘I know that, but a wedding is so much more than the event; it’s about showing your family and friends how successful you are by how much you spend and by the amount of thought that goes into every little detail’ – her mother held up her hands as if in prayer, reciting words that sounded suspiciously like someone else’s – ‘like whether you should have the bloody sides of your hair up or down!’
There it was, the B word again. Merrin sighed. ‘And there was me thinking it was about making a commitment for life.’
‘It is! Of course.’ Her mum smacked the arm of the chair. ‘But that doesn’t mean we can’t use the opportunity to show off to certain members of the family.’
‘Actually’ – Merrin walked over and kissed her mum on the top of her head – ‘I’ve had a little think and I think sides up. Definitely.’
‘’S what I said: sides up,’ Ruby confirmed.
Mrs Kellow seemed to soften in the chair, slumping a little and nodding. Her expression was one of relief.