“You have time,” Abuelita said, taking my hand in hers and squeezing. “You do not have to decide today. Go to this award ceremony. See what the world says about this wine you have worked so hard on. See how you feel about this man. Decide if it’s worth living without him.”
When I returned home, Blaire was still gone, but there was a familiar truck in the driveway. I tipped my head back and groaned. Just what I needed to deal with.
Hollin hopped out of his truck as soon as I got out and followed me toward the door. “Piper, please, can we talk?”
“I’m not up for talking.”
“I found out about the winery.”
I ground my teeth together. “Okay.”
“I can’t believe that your dad sold it out from under you.”
“Yep,” I snapped.
“The guys found out at the game, and I raced over here to talk to you. When did you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?”
I laughed, a sharp, bitter note. “Why didn’t I tell you? Because you were occupied with Tori. That’s why.”
“Fuck.”
“Chase blurted it out at the wedding. He thought I already knew. And when I was hyperventilating and needed you most, where did I find you?”
He cursed under his breath again. “I fucked up. I really fucked up, Piper. I need to apologize…again…for what happened. Blaire told me that you hadn’t left the house, and—”
“Stop,” I said, holding up my hand. “Blaire did not tell you that so you would come grovel.”
“No. She chewed me a new one at the game.”
“Yeah. You’re lucky she needed you at the game. She was threatening violence.”
“I deserve it. Piper, I’m sorry.”
I finally faced him when I reached the door, but I didn’t go inside. God, he was handsome. Even though he looked about as good as I felt. He was sweaty from the soccer game and still in his red Tacos uniform. His blond hair was a wreck. There were bags under his eyes from sleepless nights. But his blue eyes were so sincere, so heartfelt. I wanted to melt into that look. To get lost in the Hollin Abbey who had been my wonderful boyfriend these past months. But I remembered too viscerally how he’d hurt me the way I’d always expected that he would.
And I remembered what it was to put up walls against his charms. I’d been so good at deflecting Hollin that it was basically my superpower. I needed that resolve more than ever to live through this.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“It was my mistake. Tori manipulated me for years. And she was still able to do it now. I should have seen what she was doing, and still, somehow, I was all fucked up with it. I can’t do things right when it comes to her. Which is why I cut her and everyone else who knew me when I was with her out of my life. It was the only way I knew how to move forward. Even Julian and Campbell had no clue we’d dated. Only you even had any idea that I had an ex-girlfriend.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from sympathizing with him. Tori sounded like a total headcase. She’d wormed her way into my life so seamlessly, too, without ever mentioning that she’d dated my boyfriend. And betrayed me just as quickly.
“I’m going to get better. Julian recommended a therapist to help me recover from her emotional abuse. I feel stupid that I even have to go, but he said she’s the real deal.” He ran a hand back through his hair. “And I’m not just saying this to get you back.”
“No?” I asked, my voice wobbling.
“I’m going either way. Apparently, how I’ve been coping with the trauma is…problematic.” He met my gaze with a frown. “To say the least.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re going,” I told him honestly. I crossed my arms across my chest and held tight to my anger. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you hid her contacting you from me, or that you went to see her, or that when I needed you, you weren’t there. I can’t switch off the betrayal, Hollin.”
“I know. I know. Fuck.” He stepped away from me and back. “I wish I could take it all back. Have a do-over.”
“Yeah, me too,” I whispered. “But…you can’t.”
“Are you still going to Austin?” he asked.
I could see that he barely restrained himself from asking if I was going with him. Because that was too much to ask for.
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
He nodded, a yearning smile touching his lips. “Good. Good. I was worried that you might not go because of the winery situation.”
“No, I’m not giving up,” I said, repeating the words Abuelita had ingrained in me. “That wine was my hard work. I won’t give up just because of what my dad did.”
“I can’t imagine how you’re feeling about it, but I’m glad that you’re still going.”
“That doesn’t mean that I’ll see you there,” I warned him.
He held his hands up. “Right. I just…wanted to see you. I know I can’t make this all go away, but I’m not going to walk away from this, Piper. I fucked up. I get it. And I see every step where I went wrong. But you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m going to try to fix this.”
I swallowed hard at those words. I wanted all of that, too. But something had broken between us. I didn’t trust him anymore. I didn’t know if I could believe his words. As much as I wanted to. And now, the fragile, cracked heart inside my still-beating chest recoiled from more damage. He’d done that, and I didn’t think he could undo it.
I reached for the handle. “I wish you’d thought about all of this before Tori happened.”
“Me too.”
He took another step toward me as I entered my house. His hands came to either side of the door, taking up the entire expanse with his incredible bulk. He looked like a sad puppy but a determined one.
“Hollin, I can’t do this,” I whispered as tears came to my eyes again.
He brushed the tear from my cheek with his thumb. “You’re my good girl, but I didn’t realize that you’d changed this bad boy until it was too late.”
38
Piper
“So, you just sent him home?” Blaire asked. She leaned on her elbows and looked at me with wide eyes.
“I did.”
Jennifer sat similarly on my bed as I packed my bag for my trip to Austin. “Good for you, Piper. He has a problem, and he’s working to fix it, but it doesn’t change the damage he did.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay,” Blaire said with an eye roll at Jennifer. “As much as I hate what Hollin did, he feels real remorse.”
“I think so, too,” I admitted.
“But…” Jennifer added for me.
“But I’m still mad.”
“Understandable,” Blaire said. “Are you going to see him when you’re in Austin?”
“Not if I can help it.” I held up a black dress for my friends, and they both put two thumbs down. I returned to the closet to find something else acceptable to wear to the ceremony. “I’m going to try to have a good time. Mingle with other people at the event. Hopefully come home with an award and decide what to do from there.”