She nodded, offering him a small smile.
He set the remote down and reached for his wine, taking a sip and then diving back into his pizza. “So, tell me what it is that makes Eva … ”
“Just Eva,” she said through chewing.
He nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Tell me what it is that makes just Eva tick.”
3
Grateful for not only something in her stomach but the company as well, Eva was now far more relaxed than she had been an hour ago. Scott was sweet, kind, interesting, and absolutely hilarious. The man had her in stitches nearly the entire time they vegged on the bed gorging themselves on pizza and watching back-to-back episodes of The Office. By the time she stood up with jelly legs from the wine, she had tears in her eyes, she’d been laughing so hard.
Todd had never made her laugh like that. He’d made her shed tears a lot but never from laughter.
It was refreshingly wonderful, and she didn’t want it to end.
“What’s your ex like?” Scott asked as she climbed back onto the bed with a glass of water. She handed him one as well.
“A total narcissist,” she said blandly. “A controlling, manipulative, emotional and psychological abuser. A pathological liar. A cheater.” She glanced at him as she sipped her wine. “Pick one. My therapist never met him, so she can’t actually diagnose him, but she said that based on everything I’ve told her about the man, she can almost say for certain that Todd is a psychopath.” The lights on the nightstands flickered. Too bad Todd wasn’t dead and that was just his ghost haunting her. Next birthday wish, perhaps?
His mouth flattened into a thin line. “I’m sorry. That had to have been really difficult. Tough to finally get out of, I’m sure.”
He didn’t know the half of it. All she did was nod.
“And your ex?”
He exhaled and tucked his hands behind his head before he sank down into the pillows so he was lying down on the bed. “A narcissist too, not a psychopath though. Just selfish. But I think what bothered me about her the most, what ended our marriage, was just how damn inconsiderate she was. How disrespectful she was toward me. Treated me like her lapdog.” He shook his head. “I know I’m a nice guy. I know that, and when it came to Katrin, nice guys really did finish last. She made plans on nights I had plans and would just expect me to cancel mine, even though I’d have made my plans eons ago and put it in our shared calendar. I mean one time—and this was when we were still dating and she lived for six months down in San Francisco for an apprenticeship—I took time off from my own job, flew down there, expecting to spend the weekend with her like we’d planned, only to turn up on her doorstep and find out from her roommate that Katrin had taken off to Napa with some friends for the weekend.”
Eva’s bottom lip dropped open. “Are you kidding me?”
He shook his head. “I should have ended the relationship then and there, truthfully. And her excuse is always something super lame, like That’s just my truth, Scott. That’s just my psychology. I’m not a very organized person, but it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. If you can’t accept me for who I am, then that’s your problem, not mine.”
“I’m sorry, but what the fuck? If you can’t accept her constant disrespect, then that’s your problem, not hers?” She blinked a bunch of times. “You picked a real winner there, Scottie.”
He made a noise of reluctant agreement in his throat. “Don’t I know it. I mean, she couldn’t send me a text the night before I flew all the way to San Francisco? Hell, an hour before I got on a fucking flight and been like hey babe, I would really like to do a girls’ weekend to Napa. Do you mind if we reschedule? Sorry for the last-minute change of plans. Or something like that. Like at least fake your fucking remorse.”
“But then you wouldn’t have your son,” she said quietly, feeling the exact same way about Todd and her own children. An enormous part of her wished she’d never given Todd her phone number that night at the Seahawks game after-party. Then the last ten years and the nightmare would never have happened. Her feelings of failure, of becoming invisible, a shell of who she once was, never would have happened. Who knows what she could have accomplished if she hadn’t met Todd? Maybe she’d have her own spa by now. Her own spa chain. A franchise. Eva’s Hair and Esthetics in every major city in Washington state.
An ache began to build in her chest at the thought of a life without having ever met Todd. How could she even imagine such a thing?
Because as much as Todd had hurt her, as much as he had destroyed who she was and who she had the potential to be, without him there would be no Kellen or Lucas. And the world without her children just didn’t make a lick of sense.
Everything happens for a reason.
Her mother’s vague, sunshiny, unicorns-shitting-rainbows mantra came back to her.
Yeah, maybe everything did happen for a reason, but not all reasons made sense. Not all reasons were good.
But Kellen and Lucas are good. Kellan and Lucas are perfect.
She squeezed her eyes shut as the regret from even wishing for a moment that she hadn’t met Todd consumed her. She would walk through hell for her children. She would kill for her children. She’d endure all the years of manipulation, abuse and bullying from Todd all over again if it meant she had her children.
“You okay, there?” Scott’s deep voice drew her out of the thick quicksand she’d been sinking into, and she opened her eyes.
“Yeah,” she said on an exhale that strained her chest.
“You’re absolutely right, you know,” he said, eyeing her warily. “Without Katrin, I wouldn’t have my son. So as much as she hurt me, made me feel like an afterthought, I’m grateful to her for our son. A world without Freddie just wouldn’t make sense.”
Finally, someone who understood her struggle. Her mental anguish over wishing you’d never met someone but knowing that without them, you wouldn’t have the amazing things you did.
“Did you file for divorce or did your ex?” she asked, sinking down into the pillows and turning to face him, propping her head in her hand. She wanted to get off the topic of herself and focus on him. She was boring. Scott seemed far more interesting, far more worldly and experienced.
“I did,” he replied. “I suggested counseling and tried telling her how disrespected I felt, but it all fell on deaf ears. We tried counseling for a while, but even the counselor said it wasn’t sinking in with Katrin. So in the end, I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t be treated like a second-class citizen in my own marriage. When my opinion stopped mattering, that was the end of it.”
“And your son? How did he take it all?”
“Freddie?” Scott let out a deep breath and shut his eyes. “He was a trooper through all of it. We split when he was three, and he’s six now, so I don’t think he really remembers much.” He shook his head but didn’t open his eyes. “She’s still inconsiderate, selfish and disrespectful to me, my time and plans, but at least I’m no longer married to her and having to put up with it on a daily basis. I get my kid on set days of the week, and we sit down every two months and go over any changes. If she needs to make a last-minute change, I have the right to decline her—and just to prove a point, I have.”