“Let’s go in,” I said again, not allowing myself to look at Ross. I didn’t want him to see just how much I wanted more. It would do what he hadn’t wanted to happen from the start—Ross would feel like he was put in the middle. Because he wouldn’t want me hurt.
The group of us went inside and were immediately seated. I’d called to adjust the reservation the night Ross asked about Trina and Zander coming.
The waitress asked if we wanted anything to drink. Trina and Ross both ordered a glass of wine, which I’d never seen my son drink in his life. Zander still wasn’t a huge fan, but drank it every once in a while. He leaned close and asked, “Which one is that sweet one I like?”
“Moscato.”
“I’ll have a glass of that,” he told the waitress.
“Me too,” I added. When she left, I said, “See? You actually like it. Wine isn’t only for old people.”
“Well, no, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t give you shit.”
“Brat.”
For the second time, I felt Ross and Trina’s gazes on us, but I didn’t turn to them. Zander seemed to remember their presence again, and gave his complete attention to the menu. His leg bounced beside mine, and he kept fidgeting in his seat. I put a hand on his thigh, hoping it would soothe him because apparently now I thought I had more power than ADHD medication.
When the waitress returned, we ordered, and then Trina said, “Ross told me you teach sixth-grade English. Do you like it?”
It was absolutely the perfect thing to ask. Zander lost himself in his passion for education then, and I…well, I could do nothing but sit back and watch him, sunbathing in his glow.
He relaxed more after that but kept his distance from me. Every once in a while he’d forget, and we’d banter back and forth, or he’d pick at my plate the way he did when we were alone, and all I could think was how much I wanted this.
How much I wanted him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Zander
“Why do you suppose Percy Jackson did that?” I asked my last-period class. They were all jittery and dressed up in their costumes since it was Halloween, but at the same time, they seemed into the discussion as well. Maybe not all of them, but a good majority. My first book of the year had clearly been a smart choice.
“I think he wants to help people. Sure, he wants to prove himself, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it,” Lindy said.
“He thinks that girl is hot,” Elijah added.
“Oh my God. Whatever,” Lindy countered.
“I’m kidding…kinda. I mean, that’s part of it, right?” Elijah asked.
“Well, yeah, I think it is. You’re both right to a degree. But—” The bell rang, cutting off our discussion. Shit. I’d lost track of time. I hated it when I did that. It felt like class had just started. “Okay, that’s it. Have a good night and be safe! I put a bowl of candy by the door. You can each grab a piece or two on the way out. Be ready to continue our analysis when you come back.”
They were only half listening, running off already, others stuffing items into their backpacks, excited about the night ahead. It might have been silly, but I felt the same. I’d never been much into Halloween as a kid. I didn’t know why, but it just hadn’t been my thing. Harrison said he got a decent amount of trick-or-treaters, though, so we were going to pass candy out all night. I’d never done that before and was probably a little more stoked than I should have been for something so small.
I was finishing up a few things when there was a gentle tap on my open classroom door. I turned and smiled. “Hey, Cameron.” We talked quite a bit at work, more and more as time went on. We even texted every once in a while. I liked him a lot. Definitely wanted to be friends with him, even though we had yet to get together outside of school.
“Happy Halloween.”
“You too.” I finished putting my stuff in the bag. “Are you doing anything tonight?”
“A couple of friends invited me out to dinner. You?”
“Harrison and I are giving out candy. He went a little nuts buying it. I don’t see how that many kids can come by, but I’ve never turned down sweets, so I guess I’ll have to eat the leftovers.” I laughed, glanced at Cameron, and noticed he was smiling at me strangely. “What?”
“Nothing. It’s just…I haven’t even known you very long, but I can see a change in you, and in how you talk about him. In the beginning you rarely mentioned him, and now you’re casually talking about all the things you do together. You’re obviously happy and, well…my loss.” He winked. So Harrison had been right. Cameron had been interested in me.
“We’re not… We’re just friends.” Though that wasn’t always what it felt like. Still, I didn’t want Cameron to get the wrong idea. Sure, I talked about Harrison, but that was because we spent so much time together. We were still just friends—really good friends who liked getting off with each other. Harrison would tell me if he wanted more. That was just the kind of man he was.
“Great. Want to go on a date?” Cameron asked, and when I didn’t answer right away, he started laughing.
“Shut up.”
“Point proven,” he countered.
“We’re really not serious. It’s just having fun, but…I wouldn’t feel comfortable having fun with someone else.”
“That’s a relationship, Zander.”
“Not if you’re both on the same page about not wanting strings.”
He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorjamb, smiling. “It’s none of my business either way, but I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed seeing you come into your own over the past few months.”
“Whatever you say.” I grinned so he knew I wasn’t annoyed. I was a little uncomfortable, though. “I should head out.”
He stuck his hand in my candy bowl and took a handful. “Have fun with your boyfriend!” he said as he left the room.
“He’s not my boyfriend!” I called back. It did feel good to be able to joke that way. I still worried about angry, judgmental parents but had yet to have any encounters. I was gay and there to teach their children language arts. That was it.
After school, I went back to the condo for clothes. If I went straight to Harrison’s, I would get there before he did from work. He’d offered to give me a key, but I’d turned him down. Regardless of how much time I spent there, it was his home, not mine. I would feel strange coming and going without him.
I changed clothes and went for a jog in the park. I missed running more often with Harrison. Work made going in the mornings too hard, and sometimes afterward I was too exhausted. We did try and go on the weekends, though, so that was nice.
I finished up, then packed a bag and headed to his place. I’d just pulled up when a text came through from him telling me things were a little behind and he’d be about half an hour late.
That’s fine. I’ll just sit in the car and get some work done.
This is why you should have a key.
Blah, blah, blah. I can’t hear you.
Such a brat. He added a winky-face emoji and then didn’t text again.