The laughter that comes is so fast and free and has me losing my breath, holding my stomach to ease the pain it creates. The good type of pain that reminds you that you’re living, not just existing.
Mia waits for it to quiet a bit before adding, “So, yeah. He taught me to curse, how to fake cry for sympathy, and how to scam old people into giving you loose change.”
I can’t stop laughing. No one can. Because it is so, so Holden.
“But,” she says, almost shouts so people will listen, “he also taught me how to fight for love, the same way he and Jamie fought for theirs. And he taught me how to love myself without feeling like I needed to change for others. He encouraged me, and he lifted me up when all I wanted to do was crawl into the darkness…” She chokes on a sob, and I do the same, because I know what she means, how she feels. “But most of all, he loved me. He loved me and my son unconditionally, and now I get to share that love with my sister, Jamie.”
“Aww,” I coo, clapping Mia off the stage.
“Dangit!” Holden huffs, and I turn to him just in time to see him wipe at his eyes.
“You okay?”
“She’s such a dumbass,” he mumbles, getting to his feet and rounding the table to hug Mia and Maggie. I do the same. But I don’t return to my seat.
Instead, I get on stage and pick up the dahlia Maggie had dropped. I tap it a few times, saying, “Is this thing on?”
Holden pins me with those lively green forest eyes. “What are you doing?” he mouths.
“We hadn’t planned on saying anything,” I say into the dahlia while clutching the mood pendant with the other hand. “But I just felt the need to, so… here I am.”
“Get it, girl!” Maggie shouts. Big H is for sure carrying her ass to bed tonight.
“I guess I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for coming. Especially to the one person who couldn’t be here physically, but is here in spirit…” I lift the dahlia like a win glass, and look up at the ceiling. “Esme… it’s because of you that we’re even here today…” I look back down at all the eyes watching me, stopping on Holden. “I hope that wherever you are, you greet everyone you meet the same way you greeted Holden and me for the first time.” I let out a quiet giggle as the memory flood me. At the same time, Holden and I laugh out, “What’s poppin’, bitches?”
I wait for the guests to quiet their laughter before continuing, “I also wanted to take a moment to say thank you to Joseph for offering his private jet so my friends who’ve become family can here today. Gina, Zeke, Dean. Thank you for sharing this day with me. But most of all, I want to say thank you to my husband.” Holden smiles over at me, his hands grasped beneath his chin as he leans his elbows on the table, giving me his full attention. I speak to him, even though I’m referring to the guests. “See, my husband and I had this conversation earlier this morning, and I’m not going to reveal what we talked about, but I just… I wanted him to know… in front of all our friends and family, that you—Holden Eastwood—have offered me so much more than you know. You’ve given me this town—a literal Blessing, and you haven’t just given me a house to share with you… because a house is just four walls and a roof. What you’ve given me is a home…” It’s so sudden—the way my emotions hit… it’s like the realization that a lifetime’s worth of heartache and pain can be erased by a single moment, and that moment is now. “And a home is something I’ve never had before.” I sniff back the tears. “And not only have you given me a home, but that home comes with a family. You’ve given me a sister I can conspire with to get on your nerves and a mother-in-law willing to share her family’s heirlooms with me.” I touch the necklace gently. “You’ve given me a best friend in Maggie. A friend who listens, who supports me unconditionally, who wants nothing more than to celebrate my triumphs, no matter how big or small. And you’ve given me a man who will take me to the hardware store and help me buy my own tools and not say a word when everything I pick out is pink. A man who is patient when teaching me how to use those tools, and a man… a man who will hold me when I need to be held,” I choke out, and I’m fully aware that everyone’s watching me, that the tears I cry are tears I’ve held on to for years now. “But most of all, you’ve given me you. Every single piece of you. And I love you so much, because all those things you’ve given me—they were the missing pieces of me.” I sniff back another sob and look around the barn, at all the tear-stained eyes on me. Then I land on Holden, and I stay there, where my past, my present, and future collide. My home. “You—Holden Eastwood—have completed me.”
Holden
Jamie lies with her head on my lap, her eyes closed as I remove her makeup. “You look like Snow White with these red lips,” I say, carefully sliding the wipe over her mouth.
She smiles beneath my touch and says, “That’s the look I was going for.”
“Yeah?”
She nods, her hand splayed over her bare stomach, between her bra and underwear. Her wedding dress is spread out over the couch, along with the top half of my tux. The moment we got home, we stripped out of our clothes and crashed in bed. It’s probably not the way most wedding nights go, but we were exhausted. I was almost asleep when she asked me to remove her makeup, and of course, there’s no denying my bride. “I kind of am like Snow White. Only Beaker is the evil stepmother who tried to kill me, and you’re the Prince Charming. The Disney version. Not the possible necrophile one.”
I chuckle, push away my fatigue. “Was it everything you expected it to be?”
“And then some.”
I finish on her lips and start working on her jawline. “Listen, I’m sorry if I ruined the ceremony. It’s just… the moment I saw you in that dress… it’s like my mind flashed to all these future moments with you as my wife, and I just wanted to get started already.”
“You didn’t ruin it,” she assures, opening her eyes and lifting them to mine. She reaches up, strokes my face. “It was perfect, and I felt the same.”
“Good,” I say, then tap her forehead. “All done.” She sits up, and I collect the mountain of used makeup wipes and bring them to the kitchen to trash them. When I get back, Jamie’s on her side, her head on the pillow facing me. I don’t know how many times I’ve walked into this exact situation, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it, nor do I want to.
I lie down beside her, our noses almost touching, and rest my hand on the dip of her waist.
“Your three top moments of the night,” she says. “Go.”
Her eyes are bright as they search mine, and suddenly, the need for sleep feels foreign. “Um…” I think about my answer a moment. “Our first dance.”
Her smile widens.
I add, “It was nice you went with ‘My Girl.’ I could tell it made Mom happy to feel like she was involved.”
“I love that your mom and I are in such a good place,” she says, touching the necklace my mom had passed down to her.