Occasionally, I’d pay attention to what was going on between them, always there to lend a helping hand to my daughter when she needed it, but otherwise, I’d left her to Victoria while I worked on my husband. Now she had to go and run crying to that boy with the look of hell in his eyes and turn my life upside down.
Obviously, I wasn’t hard enough on her back then, or this would never have happened. Victoria was right in that regard. It’s not too late. When I get back home, I’ll be sure to make up for my oversight. If she thought she had it bad before, she’d wish for those days again. But I must get out of here first.
I have no idea what’s going on out there. What they could be telling Felix, all the lies. And Victoria, how is she handling herself? I hope she doesn’t slip up and show her true colors. I can work with what’s happened so far; her change in attitude since she’d been expelled. But if she crosses the line while I’m not there, Felix might grow suspicious.
That, along with everything that has been happening here of late, might prove too much for him to ignore. These thoughts are killing me as there’s nothing I can do locked away in here. “Hey, I need to make a phone call.” The longer I stayed in here with no word from the outside world, the more agitated I grew.
The last person I’d seen was that boy, and that was days ago. His words playing over in my head again and again wasn’t helping the rising fear that kept growing inside me. Each time I come up with a plan to get out of this mess, his words come back to haunt me. What did he mean by he knew I’d done worse? How could he possibly know that? And which of my past infractions was he hinting at?
The not knowing is the worst part of this whole ordeal. Every time I think of what he could mean, I feel strangled, suffocated as if something is nipping at my heels. There’s no way that kid could outsmart me; what does he know? A little snot-nosed brat raised in the lap of luxury.
I came from the streets, was raised on hardship and neglect. Those two things prepared me for a world he can’t begin to imagine. When it comes to scheming and plotting, I’ll put myself up there with the best. Haven’t I lived the last twelve years as proof of that? No way am I going to lose to him and especially not to the daughter of that smarmy bitch who thought she was better than everyone else.
I felt a slight pang of guilt at the thought and tried to squash it, but it wasn’t as easy as in the past. Maybe it’s because of all the reminders lately, all the things that have gone wrong. But now, when I think of Adrienne, I no longer find it easy to outrun my own thoughts, the things I’d put in place to help me deal with the truth of what I’d done.
I’d had to come up with an alternate truth long ago, for me and Victoria both. It’s a story I’d read to us both repeatedly like a fable each night until it stuck in our heads, erasing the real for the made-up. But now, this damn cell seems to be stripping away all my defenses. Now at night, I see her face, as if taunting me, jeering at me. As if she thinks her daughter and that boy are somehow going to discover the truth.
I need to get out of here; I need to find that housekeeper. I shouldn’t have given up, even though a lot of time had gone by. I should’ve taken care of her from the start, but it would’ve been too risky back then, then by the time I made up my mind to handle her once and for all, she just up and disappeared.
I’d used the same excuse to get rid of her from the house as I’d used to oust Adrienne’s family, which just goes to show that it doesn’t matter how much money and class you have; you’re no better than a lowly servant. Yes, I’d won against all of them. There’s nothing stopping me from winning again.
My renewed thoughts brought me a semblance of relief as I sat down on the musty moth-eaten cot. No more negative thoughts; think only positive, and things will soon go back to normal. I won’t think about the boy knowing about Jimmy, or Victoria being expelled from her prestigious school where all her future prospects lay, or even my own cases. Everything can be taken care of with money, and Felix has plenty.
No matter what, I will beat this and come out on top. I’d come too far to lose now. Victoria, though, of all the things I’m worried about, is at the top of the list. With me not there to rein her in, how is she coping? I hope they’re leaving her alone, not adding more pressure to her already strained psyche. Just a few more days, that’s all, and I’ll be out of here.
GABRIEL
I did it again. It was late in the night or early morning rather when I finally rolled away from her. Why is it that at the moment, in the heat of passion, the mind forgets everything, but the emotion and feelings as the body take over? But once that passion has been burnt to a cinder, reality comes rushing back, and your mistakes become superimposed on the brain?
In other words, my good intentions of not touching her again were pushed to the side for the last few hours of bliss, only to be followed now by regret as she sleeps in my arms. She’d fallen asleep seconds after I came this last time, too worn out from the party and me using her body to chase away my demons to keep her eyes open.
Good going, Gabriel, you used her; you’ve sunk to a new low even for you. Not even the memory of her being the aggressor once we reached the safety of my room dampened the reality that I should’ve been the one to stop it before it went this far.
Not only did I not put an end to it, but I also gorged myself. Whatever her intentions were when she fell into me and lured me towards the bed, I’m sure she had no idea what would happen once we got there. She’d bitten off more than she could chew, which would be funny if I wasn’t busy kicking my own ass for giving into her again.
Fine, I’ll give us this next week. I’ll wean her and myself of each other in that time while making sure she has a good time on what I’m sure is her first vacation anywhere since her mom died. She snuggled in close the way she does, and I finally closed my eyes, suddenly too tired to think.
GABRIEL
Breakfast in the morning was a riotous mess. Ma was in her element, having the whole family here, including the grands as well as Gianna’s relatives who had gone from talking about the party the night before to the upcoming trip to Paris and the ball. I learned that Gianna was going to be busy once we returned from the Caribbean, which is a good thing. It will give me time to put the finishing touches on the Fontane issue while gearing up for mine.
Aside from finding her the perfect gowns last minute, which they didn’t seem as worried about as the other stuff her invite entailed, there was a mind-numbing amount of crap she had to go through. I’d been there for my sisters’ and knew she had a long road ahead of her. I’d gained a whole new respect for the tradition after getting an up-close look from behind the scenes.
Before, I thought it was a lot of waste for what boiled down to just a party. But the way the women in my family act it’s almost like a rite of passage, and I can see why. Mind you; it still seems like a damn auction to me, where families go to show off their young marriageable daughters and sons. But things had changed some in the last century, I guess, and there was a whole lot more to it.
Gianna was getting a late start, but I’m glad she’d get to enjoy at least some of what she’d have had had her mom been alive. She looked spooked the more the conversation went on, once she realized all that she’d have to learn in the coming weeks. Even to the point that she questioned whether she should forego the trip to the island. I didn’t think she needed to, and I wanted her to have this trip for my own selfish reasons. I want those memories.