They reached the barn door, but his father hesitated before departing. “Do her brothers know what she’s been doing, working for you?”
“Dad, of course they do.” Exasperation filled Alex’s tone to disguise his disquiet. “And she is working for me. That’s all.”
His father nodded, but his eyes said he wasn’t buying what Alex was selling. “Be careful with that girl. I see trouble coming.” Alex watched as his father walked away, afraid that they’d already blown their cover.
“Do you think he bought it?” Brenne said from behind him.
He sighed. “I doubt it, despite your more than convincing performance.”
Brenne caught the sarcasm in his tone. “Well, pardon me for thinking on my feet. I had to tell him something.”
“And it might have worked, if you’d been wearing another earring!” He returned to the wall, taking down a pitchfork and beginning to load straw into a nearby wheelbarrow.
Brenne swiped at the straw still stuck to her clothing. “This is why we had a no hookups at home policy! You should have known better!”
“Me?” he said, his tone full of disbelief. “You kissed me!”
She froze, her eyes narrowing at his tone. “You started it. Shoving straw down my shirt.” She gestured at the pile of straw in front of them. “Pulling me down and pawing at me. There’s no way you’re pinning this on me. You wanted this as much as I did. And I never heard you complaining when we were hanging out either.”
“Look, can we just get this straw and get back to the clinic before Ryker shows up with the horse?” His words did what he’d hoped they would, and Brenne grabbed a pitchfork to help. Her mouth was a tight white line, and Alex knew her silence was only temporary.
Her lips stayed buttoned until the door closed behind them back in the clinic. Alex wheeled the straw over to the stall and started to arrange it. Brenne leaned against the stall door, her hand on her hip. “You want to tell me what’s going on? You’ve been hot and heavy for me for a year, then you break it off. Then you hire me, telling me it was your idea, and you get handsy with me in your office, then here. You swing from hot to cold fast enough to give a girl whiplash.”
He looked up at her, realizing he couldn’t deny the truth of her words. Well, not all of them, but she is wrong about one part. “All right. You got me. Jameson and Jim practically forced me to give you a job so you wouldn’t be available to take shifts at the saloon.”
Brenne’s eyes closed and she leaned her head back against the door. “I friggin’ knew it. My damn brothers can’t help meddling in my life. They’re worse than a gambling addict betting on the ponies.”
“I’m sorry I lied to you. But I agreed with them. You’re bound to get in trouble, acting like you were at the saloon.”
Her eyes opened, and they were filled with fire. “You know how much I hate my brothers critiquing my behavior, and yet you agree with them. So you thought it was fine to manipulate me like this, huh?”
He finished arranging the straw and pushed the wheelbarrow to the side. Making his way to the sink, Alex washed his hands, buying time while thinking about how to answer. She’s not wrong, and that’s the problem. No matter how wrong we are for each other, I can’t put a lid on my possessiveness when it comes to her. But now that my father suspects something, we can’t have another accident like what happened in the barn.
He turned around, taking a deep breath. Alex worked to school his features and to keep any hint of emotion out of his tone. “Look, neither of us can deny our attraction to each other, but we have to be appreciative of our circumstances. For one, you’re my employee.”
“That’s easy enough to correct,” she said with a shrug. “I quit.”
“Brenne, you don’t have to—”
“No,” she said, talking over him. “I do. I was hired under false pretenses.”
He wiped his hands, holding in his frustration. “It’s not just that. There’s your brothers. Our families—”
“If you think I’m going to let Jameson and Jim, or any of them for that matter, run my life for me, you’ve got another thing coming.” Her pitch was high, her cheeks filled with color.
“We’ve known each other forever, Brenne. The Parsons and the MacAllens grew up together! We shouldn’t have ever started this at all. It’s practically incestuous.”
“Screw you, Alex Parsons,” she said, shoving his shoulder. “You know you’re wrong. Friends become more all the time. Don’t use a pathetic excuse like that.”
“It’s not an excuse. I’m a decade older than you. I should never have laid a hand on you.” It didn’t feel good to say these things, but he felt that he had to.
She shook her head, and he felt like an asshole when he caught a glimpse of the hurt in her eyes. His stomach tightened in self-disgust. I have to end this, for both of our sakes.
“It’s not going to happen again,” he said staunchly. “Whatever ‘more than friends’ you think was in us is gone. You’re my employee and a family friend. That’s it.”
“You can’t rewrite history with a few words, Alex.” He watched her hesitate, which wasn’t usual for Brenne. She shook her head resolutely and charged forward. “We’re good together, you and me. There’s no reason we can’t—”
“I just gave you a list of reasons!”
“They don’t count, not really. It’s clear we like each other, more than like. We enjoy spending time together. There’s no reason to feel bad about that, despite our age difference and our families. I’m brave enough to try.”
For a moment, he considered it. Then he reminded himself of the stakes, reminded himself that what was between them was nothing more than a few out of control hormones. “You’re not hearing me, Brenne. I don’t want to try.”
“What do you mean?”
He plowed forward, ignoring the pain he saw in her face. “I won’t deny my attraction to you. A man would have to be blind not to want you. But beyond that, what do we have? We live very different lives. Can you name anything we even have in common? You can’t build a relationship on lust, and I’m not willing to jeopardize my friendship with your brothers just to find that out a few months down the road.”
“You’re telling me that you’re only interested in my body. That I have nothing else to offer a man like you?”
Alex had never hated himself more. You’ve got to end this. For your own sake, and hers, his inner voice whispered. It might hurt, but she’ll get over it. Like a bandage, best pulled off quickly. “I’m telling you I’m not the right man for you.”
Her face crumbled. It felt like his heart did too.
Not my heart. She doesn’t have that. Just a momentary chemical reaction, better put behind us.
He put a hand on his chest. Then why do I hurt inside?
CHAPTER 10
BRENNE
Brenne stared at him while it felt like her insides froze and then broke into a thousand pieces. Sharp, icy shards tumbled through her, and all she could think was how attractive he looked standing in the light that was streaming through the window. God damn you, Alex Parsons.