She’d been a good employee, and he’d grown to like her, but Alex had never considered Emma as a potential prospect for dating before. He hadn’t done much dating in the last few years anyway, his practice and his fling with Brenne keeping him busy. Before his dating life petered out, he had dated a string of women like Emma.
They were polite. Well spoken. Always saying and doing the right things. Like Emma, they were the kind of girl he wouldn’t hesitate to bring home to meet his mother.
My mother would love Emma. They’d bond over knitting or baking cookies or volunteering at the food pantry. She would settle very easily into the Parsons family and raise respectable Parsons children.
Alex climbed out of the shower and started drying off. As he listed Emma’s positive attributes, another list was forming, a shadow list of comparisons. Brenne can be raunchy as easily as she can be polite. She’s not exactly well spoken, and she basically shunned a college education. I’ve never seen her knit or bake cookies, and anyone who thought Brenne would settle easily into anything was a fool.
But I still want her.
He felt the ache deep down inside him. The need to hold her close, to look into those green eyes of hers. To hear her laugh, to smell her scent, to receive her smile. He wanted it all, even though he shouldn’t.
I’ve got to block her out, forget about her, train myself to go back to life without Brenne MacAllen. But how? That was the question that kept him awake on nights like tonight.
He was asking himself the same question when he lay down in bed. Alex had never felt more awake, he was so on edge about all that had happened. One sinking suspicion entered his mind and would not let go, so he pulled out his phone and brought up his messaging app.
Emma’s text was front and center. The red heart staring right at him. He backed out to the main text screen, scrolled down, and found the thread with Brenne. For a year, they’d maintained an illicit sexual arrangement. They’d texted many times. Sometimes casual, sometimes informational, and sometimes flirty. He scrolled and scrolled, back through time, through all the little niceties and naughty exchanges they’d sent and received.
Through all that time and all those texts, there was not one heart emoji sent from Brenne MacAllen.
He set his phone down and let out a frustrated breath. It was a foolish thing to do in the first place, but it rankled for a reason he couldn’t begin to understand. They’d started as friends with benefits, no strings attached. Why should the lack of romantic symbols bother him?
Did I want strings, is that the problem?
It wouldn’t have mattered if he had, the situation being what it was. He couldn’t betray his best friend like that. Even if Jameson somehow gave his blessing, the truth was they didn’t suit, not really, not beyond the bedroom.
There we suit just fine. Best of my life, in fact.
Even though he was once again covering well-trodden ground, he couldn’t put a halt to his circling thoughts.
His mind went back to that graduation party so long ago, and to that drip of strawberry juice that had fallen from Brenne’s perfect lips. A line of red down her chin, a line of sweetness he’d longed to lap up before tasting her supple mouth. It was a momentary lapse, a jolt of arousal that he’d suppressed as quickly as it had arisen. And yet, he’d held on to that memory for years before revealing it to her tonight.
It was the same the night of the bonfire. He’d seen her across the fire, seen her body swaying, her languid curves calling to him in the rhythm of his heartbeat and the pulse in his ears. He’d never felt a need so acute. He’d been more beast than man when he’d gone to her. He’d expected her to push him away, but she’d drawn him closer.
She’s still got her claws in me, and they’re pumping poison into my bloodstream, making me weak while she teases and tempts another victim.
It was an evil thought, one Brenne didn’t deserve. But it was a way to block the hurt, the pain that burned in his chest when he realized it was over between them.
He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.
CHAPTER 20
BRENNE
“Guess who’s going to his new home today?”
The horse looked at her, his eyes widening. Ghost shook his head once, then gave a snort. “That’s right!” Brenne replied, kissing him on his jaw. “You’re becoming an official member of the MacAllen clan. May the Lord have mercy on you.”
She’d borrowed her father’s truck and hitched up a horse trailer. It was waiting just outside the clinic door. Brenne carefully backed the horse out of its temporary stall and then led it toward the door. She knew the new home would be an adjustment for the creature but that Ghost would eventually be happier around other horses, being ridden regularly.
Once Ghost was loaded onto the trailer, Brenne took one last look around the clinic. She’d been a little worried that Alex might be here, that there might be another confrontation, but he hadn’t been. She told herself she was relieved, but inside, Brenne wasn’t sure if that was what she really felt. She put it out of her mind and headed for the truck, ready to get the horse settled into his new digs.
“Hey!” Brenne craned her neck to see Peggy in the distance, half-jogging in her direction. “I was hoping I would run into you again,” she said when she’d gotten within speaking distance.
“Hey, Peggy,” Brenne said, trying to keep her lack of enthusiasm out of her voice.
Peggy was a little out of breath when she finally reached her. “Alex told me the whole thing. We’ve got to strategize!”
“What?” Brenne had no idea what Alex’s sister was talking about. What on God’s green earth could he have said to her about us?
“You and Gavin Jeffries! I know all about it. And a very smart move, if I may say so.” Peggy gave her a nod of approval.
“Look, I don’t know what your brother told you, but there is no me and Gavin Jeffries, okay?” Brenne climbed into her truck, pulling the door closed behind her and putting the key in the ignition.
“Wait,” Peggy said, putting her hands on the truck door. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Let me explain.”
“I’ve got to get this horse back to the ranch. I don’t want to keep him in the trailer and agitated for too long.” Brenne put the truck in gear and started checking her mirrors.
“I’ll help you back her out,” Peggy said, still gripping the door. “But first, just agree to let me explain what I meant. I’ll buy you a beer down at your brother’s place. How about it?”
Brenne looked at her. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Peggy about whatever things her brother had told her about Gavin. Peggy gave her a hopeful smile, and Brenne cursed her soft insides. “Fine. I’ll meet you there this afternoon. Be there by three.”
“I will,” Peggy said, then moved to the rear of the trailer to help Brenne back it out onto the main driveway. As soon as she was pointed in the right direction, Brenne hit the gas before another Parsons family member wanted to invite her out for a drink.
Brenne finished brushing Ghost and was cleaning the brush when her eldest brother entered the stables. “I’m surprised to see you alone,” he said.