I moved closer to the doorway, but kept my body away from the opening, leaning as close as I dared, and making out both of the voices.
Dezi.
And Cary.
“Your lady friend looks like a strong wind would blow her over,” Dezi said, as though Cary hadn’t seen me himself.
“I know,” Cary said, voice concerned.
“I fed her donuts,” Dezi volunteered.
“Good.”
“She has no opinions on mini-cows.”
“Ah, good to know,” Cary said, sounding as confused as I had been about the topic.
“What you rushing off to do?”
“Pack,” Cary said, making me stiffen.
Did he get in trouble with his president? Was he being kicked out because of me?
No.
I couldn’t let that happen.
“Are you in trouble because of me?” I burst out as I rushed into the living room, watching as both men turned to face me.
“What? No, Abs, no,” Cary said, shaking his head.
“You said you have to pack,” I reminded him as Dezi took his coffee from my hand.
“Yeah, but not everything I own, love,” he said, shaking his head. “A bag or two. Fallon was fine with me helping you, but asked that I not keep you in the clubhouse.”
“Oh, okay. Where are you putting me then?”
“For a couple of days, it is going to have to be a hotel. After that, I will have a more permanent place set up. Is that alright? If you’re not comfortable with that situation, I could maybe ask one of the princesses if you can crash in their spare rooms. Or maybe I can ask Chris and Lo if you could stay at Hailstorm for a bit.”
“Hailstorm,” I repeated.
“Long story,” Cary said, shrugging. “But suffice to say it is a safe place.”
“I’m, ah, I’m okay with the hotel,” I decided. I didn’t really like the idea of being around a bunch of strangers.
“Good. Because it’s all set up,” Cary said, shooting me a sweet smile. “So I just have to throw some things together.”
“Can I come?” Dezi asked, making a big smile tug at my lips because it sounded a lot like a little kid wanting to join the adults on a night out.
“Both beds will be occupied,” Cary said.
“There’s usually a cot. Or the floor. Wouldn’t be the first time I slept on a floor.”
“I think I can keep Abigail safe enough in a hotel. But I might need to use you if Fallon needs me here. If that’s okay with you,” he added, looking over at me.
“We bonded over donuts. We’re practically family now,” Dezi insisted, getting another smile out of me.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I agreed.
“See? Told you. I’m gonna go take my coffee and crash.”
With that, and nothing else, he was gone down the hallway.
“He reminds me of a puppy. Like a big, silly one. A Golden Retriever or something.”
To that, Cary let out a strange laugh.
“What?”
“He can be like a puppy, yeah,” Cary told me, holding an arm out to lead me back toward his bedroom. “But he’s one of the most vicious, violent sons of bitches I’ve ever met. Which, as you can imagine, is saying something. I was locked up with a lot of animals. But I would put my money on Dezi over all of them.”
“That’s hard to imagine,” I admitted, thinking of his scruffy little beard all dotted with white powder from his jelly donut.
“Well, let’s hope you don’t have to see it. Why don’t you sit? I just have to throw some things together,” he told me, finding some bags from under his bed, then going through his dressers before collecting some of his things from the bathroom. “You okay?” he asked, pausing before zippering his bag. “I know this is a lot.”
“No. I mean, yeah. I’m okay. And no, it’s not a lot. Not really. I was just thinking… I don’t have anything,” I told him.
It was bad enough to just have the clothes on my back and a couple bucks in my pocket to get from Raúl’s place all the way to Navesink Bank. I’d been fully in survival mode then. If people looked at me funny or silently judged me, I was too focused on following the next steps to really notice or care.
Now that I was safe—at least for the moment—I was able to see just how little I had in the world. Borrowed clothes from one of the club princesses and my old clothes that probably needed to be burned.
And, well, that was it.
I’d never had absolutely nothing to my name before.
Very little, yes, but not nothing.
“Hey, look at me,” Cary demanded, then waited until I could force my gaze to lift. “Don’t worry about all that shit. I’ll handle it.”
“I can’t ask—“
“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” he cut me off.
“You’re already doing too much for me.”
“Getting you fed and a safe place to stay is the bare fucking minimum here, love.”
“Still. I’ll…”
“Relax and let me handle it,” Cary cut me off again, this time with a teasing little smile.
“I… okay,” I agreed when his brow raised at me. “But I’m going to pay you back someday when I get a job.”
“Sure. You can think that. Go ahead,” he offered, getting a small laugh out of me. “Tell you what. We will drop my shit at the hotel. Then we can run back out to the store so you can do some shopping. Figure maybe that is something you haven’t been able to do for yourself in a while,” he added, reading the situation perfectly.
“That would be nice,” I agreed.
“Alright,” he said, grabbing both his bags. “We can borrow the SUV for the shopping trips, but we will have to drop it back off and pick up my bike later. Scared?” he asked, reading my face.
“Of a motorcycle? Yeah, kind of,” I admitted.
“It’s not a long ride,” he assured me.
I appreciated that. Not undermining my feelings, or telling me I was going to love it. Just giving me the facts to wrap my head around. If it wasn’t a long ride, no matter how miserable it made me, I could get through it.
“Okay,” I agreed, nodding.
“Okay,” he repeated. “Let’s get this shit going.”
So then we did.
I opted to wait in the car while Cary tossed his bags in the hotel room. Because, quite frankly, I didn’t want to waste any time checking out the room. I was more than a little excited to be going shopping.
Did I feel more than a little bit of guilt at the idea of spending the money of a man who most definitely did not owe me, someone who was already going above and beyond for me? Yes, absolutely. But I comforted myself with the fact that I could and would pay him back someday.
Oh, and it didn’t hurt that Dezi had sort of let it slip that the members of the club had a lot of disposable cash. So it wasn’t like getting me a couple of things was going to hurt Cary’s bottom line.
I’d always liked shopping when I was younger. Before Raúl kept me locked in his mansion.
True, when I was a kid, and later when I’d been married, it had been hammered into me never to spend money on myself for anything other than essentials. And to those people in my old community, that meant I didn’t get to buy new clothes until my old ones were threadbare or ripped.