I couldn’t help but get swept up in their little world right alongside them.
Suddenly it didn’t matter that they’d literally known each other since they were babies, and that I was a complete outsider to their world. I felt like I belonged, that they wanted me there, that they were happy to bring me into their fold.
I’d been pretty sure when I’d told Cary that I wanted to stay in Navesink Bank after everything calmed down. After meeting the girls, though, I was even more certain that this was going to be my place, that these were going to be my people.
Maybe it was presumptuous of me to think that, but they made me feel like I was one of them. And while we looked through magazines and on Layna’s phone at Pinterest, they kept talking about their future events, and inviting me along.
The girls, apparently, went to karaoke most weeks.
They went out to eat together, to the bars, or hung out at one another’s houses.
And, apparently, Vi had extended herself an invitation to crash on my couch whenever she was in town and in need.
What’s more… I was excited at the prospect.
It also helped me pick the right couch. Before that comment, it wouldn’t have occurred to me that I needed space for guests.
By the time we heard Cary’s bike making its way toward the building, the four of us managed to get a general idea of how I wanted to decorate the place in a way that could make it feel bright and spacious without resorting to all white or beige color schemes.
“Are you guys going back to the hotel tonight then?” Hope asked when Cary made his way up with a couple of bags in his hands.
I glanced around at the space that was empty save for our pizza boxes, soda bottles, and a couple design magazines.
I really didn’t want to go back to the hotel.
But, clearly, there was no way we could stay at the apartment. We didn’t even have an air mattress or even sleeping bags. And, quite frankly, after sleeping on buses and benches for the trip from Mexico to Navesink Bank, I really didn’t want to have to sleep on anything other than a mattress again if it could be helped.
“Just one more night,” Cary assured me, reading my face. “We could get a mattress here tomorrow. And a frame. You can worry about the headboard and shit later.”
“Okay,” I agreed, looking at his hands, seeing the bag for an electronics store there as well as, for reasons that I couldn’t fathom, a pet store. “You better not have bought me anything else,” I warned him, trying to use a serious voice even if a part of me was thrilled at the idea of getting more surprises.
“Girl, you just take the shit the handsome men give you,” Layna said, clicking her tongue at me.
“Like you took that Russian mafia dude’s diamond-encrusted ring at your last poker game?” Vi asked.
“What? Like it’s my fault the man didn’t bring enough cash to the table? That ring is going to fund my next trip out to California. First-class, all the way,” she added, smiling, clearly proud of her score.
“They’re essentials,” Cary insisted, putting down the bags, then pulling out a small rectangular box. “A cell phone,” he told me. “We need to be able to get in contact with each other. And the girls or Dezi if you want too,” he added, handing me the box, then going back into the bag. “And a laptop. Because you just need one. Especially if you want to buy any shit for the apartment online. The rest is just accessories for both. No big deal.”
It was a big deal, though. To me. A phone seemed so silly in the grand scheme of things, but a phone meant freedom to someone who hadn’t had her own one in years.
“Thank you,” I said, pressing the phone box to my chest.
“You’ll give her all our numbers, yeah?” Vi asked, slipping her jacket back on.
“Of course.”
“We have plans for her when she’s allowed out of hiding,” Layna added.
“I’m happy to hear it,” Cary said, nodding.
“If you need us so you can do some shit with the club,” Hope started, “you know you can call us.”
“I appreciate it,” Cary said, giving her a nod.
Within minutes, all the goodbyes were said, and we were alone again.
“That was fun,” I admitted. “I really like them.”
“They’re hard not to like,” he agreed. “And that’s only three of them. Wait until they drag you out with all the rest.”
“It sounds overwhelming. In the best way. How did everything go with church?” I asked, tripping over the word that had always had a very different meaning to me.
“Good. I lucked out. Brooks didn’t put me on the schedule much, so I have time to help with painting and furniture putting-together-ing. And to start moving forward on a possible plan to handle the situation.”
“You have a plan?” I asked, stomach immediately tensing.
It got easier as the days went on to sort of almost forget about that part. I mean, not entirely. Of course it was always there in my mind. But I could focus past it enough that it felt almost “far away” instead of a very real part of my present reality.
“A possible one,” Cary said. “One of my brothers suggested I get in contact with a guy named Andres. He’s somewhat new to the area, but has been friendly in the past. He’s in a cartel. Niro thought I might be able to, if nothing else, get some information out of him.”
“That wouldn’t be, you know, more dangerous?” I asked. “To give a cartel member information?”
“I would never put you in danger, love. I wasn’t even going to mention the details of why I need to take out Raúl, just that it needs done.”
“Oh, okay,” I said, still not convinced.
“That’s the reason for this,” Cary said, grabbing the bag from the pet store. “A has a shitton of dogs that he loves like his children. Figure a little bribe never hurt in a situation like this. Hey,” he said, reading the tension in my face.
Dropping the bag, he reached out to frame one side of my face. “I promise you that I am going to do everything I can to make sure there is no way A is going to connect you to this. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I don’t know if it was the apartment, the girls encouraging me to “get it,” the night before of unmet need, our long, intense history, or a combination of all of that.
But whatever it was had me reaching out toward him, grabbing the wrist of his arm hanging at his side, and pulling him closer.
My gaze slid to his, watching as confusion turned into understanding when his chest met my own.
“Abs, that’s not… I’m not doing any of this because I expect anything,” he said, shaking his head.
It was clearly just him giving me an out if I thought I had to “pay him back” for his kindness. But to me, who’d never had a lot of experience with men, and who had certainly never started to initiate something with one before, it felt a whole lot like rejection.
“It’s fine,” I said, wrenching away, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks and a strange, swirling discomfort spread across my stomach.
“Hey, Abs,” he tried again, his hand started to brush my shoulder, but I shrugged it away, circling back away from him.
“Let’s get back to the hotel,” I said, voice tight.