Just not Ella. Not the woman who’d kept him from being swallowed whole in that godforsaken quicksand.
Chapter Twelve
Ella peered at her reflection in the full-length mirror, feeling like a Disney princess in her wedding gown. The delicate silver leaves and sequined flower petals overlaying the sheer corset top added a sexy elegance while the pale blush color of the silk tulle skirt whispered romance. “Well, can’t back out now. Everyone at this New Year’s Eve party officially knows about the wedding.”
“Would you back out if you could?” her sister-in-law, Ana, asked. The two of them were alone in Ella’s childhood bedroom at the moment. Savanna and Rory had stepped out to make sure Griffin and Chris remembered how to knot their ties.
“No, I guess I wouldn’t.” Ella hiccupped, the champagne suddenly hitting her. Maybe I drank that a little too fast? “Dad’ll be walking me down the aisle and giving me away, all the while believing I’m actually marrying Jesse. But it’s . . . fake.” Ella turned to view the diaries she’d dug from the box her mom gave her an hour ago. She picked up a small pink one with a ballerina on the top, the lock broken from age. She opened it and ran her fingers over the writing on the first page as if it were a dedication to a book.
Ella Mae Hawkins will marry Jesse Edward McAdams. She couldn’t help but smile as she read over the words that had been written in her best cursive—a skill her teacher had insisted would be required in the “real world.”
E.M.H. + J.E.M. = LOVE, she read the next page. Their initials inside a big red heart.
Jesse’s mom had planned to name him Jesse James and have him go by J.J. Her brother had been born before Jesse, and he was Alexander James. Since their parents were best friends, they thought it’d be fun to have an A.J. and J.J. grow up together and hopefully become best friends like them.
But his mom decided naming her son after an outlaw might not be the best idea, so she’d gone with her father’s first name for Jesse’s middle.
“Jem,” she whispered. “And now I’m a Rochella gem. Weird, huh?” Ella casually shrugged off the emotions that had her shivering and showed Ana the diary.
“Are you sure today is fake?” Ana asked as Ella tossed the little pink book on her bed. “I mean, Jesse didn’t fight you all that hard on this.” She pushed her beautiful red hair to her back and continued talking, gesturing with her hands as if working through her thoughts. “I know your reasons for the wedding. But based on what I’ve seen of Jesse, it seems to me he’d be more inclined to lock you up and hide you somewhere until he can handle the threat.”
Ella would have laughed if she weren’t so damn nervous. “He knows I won’t let him do that.”
Ana smirked. “Jesse, your friend, would respect your wishes. Jesse, the hitman . . . not so much. Seems to me he’d go full-on caveman and whisk you away without giving a damn. At least from the way A.J.’s described his behavior.”
Jesse, the caveman?
“A.J. still can’t believe he never put two and two together about Jesse. Probably a Tier One guy ego thing.” Ana made light of the “truth” about Jesse with a small chuckle.
Holding the skirt of her long, pale pink bridesmaid dress to the side, Ana carefully stepped closer to Ella. “You’re not filing the marriage license with the county, but you’re exchanging vows before God and family. The ceremony seems kind of real to me.” She wrapped a hand over Ella’s bare shoulder. “Paperwork can always be filed. But I think Jesse wants this. And I think you do too.” She pointed to the diary on the bed with her free hand. “Always have.”
Ella closed her eyes, fighting the desire to cry. Her mascara might have been waterproof, but she doubted the rest of her face would survive the waterfall.
“Jesse would never risk my life. If he’s saying vows tonight, it’s because he’s decided he can best protect me this way. Work the case with me under his protection at the same time. Two birds. One stone.” She sniffled, the tears imminent, damn it. “Tonight won’t be real for him, and no matter what I think or feel, I can’t let it be real for me either,” she added, opening her eyes at the knock on her bedroom door.
“It’s your favorite brother.” A.J. opened the door a moment later, his son cradled in his arms. “Mac’s awake and wanting you.”
“You’d better not spit up on my dress, little man,” Ana said while taking Marcus from his arms. “I’ll give you two some time alone. Need to feed him before the ceremony anyway.” She glanced back at Ella, the look in her eyes still communicating the message, It’s real. You know it, and so does Jesse.
But it can’t be. And did this corset get tighter all of a sudden? Ella set both hands to her abdomen as she struggled to find her breath once Ana was gone, and she was alone with her “favorite” brother. Though, to be fair, they were the closest of all the siblings. The fact that her brother and Jesse had been best friends since they were kids hadn’t helped things between her and Jesse. Back when they were growing up or now.
But despite Jesse’s recent revelation, Ella knew her brother wouldn’t allow it to affect their friendship. Once the threat to Ella’s safety was eliminated, everything would go back to normal, right?
“You remember that conversation you and I had in here shortly before you were supposed to marry that dumbass, Brian?” A.J. fiddled with the knot of his navy tie beneath his suit jacket.
“Let me.” Ella gently pushed his hand away and undid the mess he’d made with the knot. “And yeah, I do,” she softly admitted, trying to fight the stubborn tears attempting to break free.
“I realized Jesse was the one that day,” he said after clearing his throat and stepping back once she’d fixed his tie. He ran his palm over the silk and smoothed the material flat against his white shirt. “Broken or not, Jesse’s the one.”
“Broken?” she whispered, remembering Jesse had said the same to her a few times now.
“To be clear, I’m still mad at him that you’re in danger, but I don’t know if I can blame him for only doing his job, nor can I hate him for falling in love with you.”
So, you do forgive him. Good. Regardless of what might happen between her and Jesse, she couldn’t handle a permanent fallout between him and A.J.
A.J. lifted his chin, his eyes going to the ceiling. Was he going to cry? She’d be done if he did, that was for sure. “Jesse tried to protect you by staying away from you all these years. Even if it broke his heart and yours, he was trying to keep you safe.”
So, you’re on the same page as Ana? Ella wasn’t sure what to expect, but she was shivering, anxious, and in need of more champagne. “What are you trying to say?”
“I think you two should be together. For real. After the mission is complete, and you’re no longer a target for some psychopath and his revenge plot, nothing would make me happier than to see my best friend and sister together.” He sighed a ragged breath, emotion choking up her tough-as-nails brother. “You have my blessing is all I’m saying.”
“I, um.” Ella worked her lip between her teeth, a few tears escaping. “I’m not sure if it’s me you should be telling this to.” More like Jesse. “But maybe don’t say anything to him until I know if . . . well, if there’s even a chance for us.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “Because Jesse did more than break my heart. I think he broke me too. He broke so much of me,” she cried. “And I’m just not sure if he can help me put the pieces back together.”