Jesse did a quick headcount to make sure no one had gone to catch some shut-eye during his chat with Savanna, and once he verified everyone was in the cabin, he started down the aisle only to find himself stopping just short of Ella’s seat.
As if sensing Jesse’s presence, Ella opened her eyes, and he hoped she’d see the apology in his gaze. So many sorrys for so many reasons hung on the tip of his tongue.
But if he stood there any longer, he’d lose his moral compass and drag her into his arms. Carry her into the bedroom and rip the side seam of that white dress to expose her thighs and see if she had white panties beneath it.
“You okay?” Ella whispered, snapping him free from yet another fantasy.
“Bathroom,” he mumbled, knowing there was another restroom near the cockpit, but the one attached to the bedroom had a shower and would decrease the chances of someone hearing him jacking off. Not how he pictured his wedding night with Ella, not that he’d spent much time over the years picturing it. In fact, he never thought it’d happen. And certainly not because she was in danger.
“Ohh . . . kay.” She knew what that “oh” did to him, damn it. The way she licked her lips before rounding her mouth and releasing the sound made his dick twitch in anticipation of her dropping to her knees, sliding his hard length between her lips, and sucking him dry.
Either the twitch of his dick was noticeable even behind the thick material of his khakis, or her thoughts were in line with his because her gaze fell straight to his crotch. And at that, he knotted his hands at his sides to keep from doing something crazy.
Forcing himself to look away from her, he went into the bedroom to get himself off. In the bathroom of Carter’s jet. Good God, what was wrong with him?
Jesse eyed the bed, knowing he wouldn’t take Ella for the first time in three years on Carter’s plane, even if she were to walk into the room and strip down to her panties like she’d done before.
He looked away from the bed, feeling a bit . . . hopeless, then went into the connecting bathroom. The shower was larger than he’d expected but definitely not big enough for two people, though he’d be willing to test it out with Ella. They’d made good use of their shower in New York, and that thought alone took his cock from partially to painfully hard.
“Fuck it,” he said, undoing his pants just enough to free himself.
He braced a hand against the door and began stroking his length, not giving a damn that he was thirty thousand feet in the air with his teammates only two doors away.
This woman made his blood pressure go through the fucking roof when she was around him.
The number of times he’d had to cut and run in her presence to “handle” himself so that he didn’t toss her over his shoulder and throw her onto his bed in the last three years had been one too many.
Letting out a groan, he swiped his thumb across the head of his cock, using the bead of precum as he slid his hand from root to tip, all the while wondering what it would feel like to have Ella’s pouty lips wrapped around him instead and realizing it would likely never happen.
“Ella.” He murmured her name a few more times, unable to stop himself.
He let his head fall to the door in frustration. How could he not have committed to her after they’d slept together? How had he let her go, told her to live her life, watched her almost marry another man when all he’d ever wanted was her?
A moment later, he went completely still at the realization he wasn’t alone in the bedroom.
He shifted his painfully hard cock back into his pants and zipped up before bringing his ear to the door to listen closer.
Did Savanna and Griffin not know he was back there? They didn’t do a headcount first and check like he’d done?
Soft murmurs, the sounds of sex, were just audible enough for him to hear but too faint for anyone in the cabin outside the bedroom to most likely make out.
But he didn’t hear a male’s voice . . . Ella?
His heart went into overdrive as he opened the door inward and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Ella on the bed, the skirt of her dress bunched around her waist. But what had him almost swallowing his tongue was the sight of her thrumming her clit, panties pushed down her thighs, with her gaze locked on him.
She didn’t blink, didn’t stop, just captured his attention with her rounded mouth and breathy moans.
Jesse stood in place, bringing his hands to the top of the doorframe, not sure if he was hallucinating as he watched this goddess in white silk on the small bed touching herself.
“Don’t stop,” he commanded when she’d slowed her movements, her eyes fluttering from his demand.
She sat up taller, keeping her hand over her smooth center, and he was just cocky enough to think that she’d gone bare for him. With her back to the headboard, she pinned her knees together to hide the view between her legs. “I came to talk to you, and then I heard you . . .”
“You heard me?” He remained glued to the doorway, knowing if he moved a muscle, he’d either climb on that bed and pry her knees apart or shatter the illusion.
It was the first time in three years he’d seen her like this, and he’d be damned if he left this room without seeing more.
Screw his morals and rational thought.
“I heard you,” she said again, her eyes wandering to his unbuttoned pants. “And I guess I don’t have much restraint when it comes to you.” She cocked her head. “Anger or arousal, right? No in-between.”
He cleared his throat because, really, what could he say to that?
“I never stood a chance though. You know what you do to me.” She slid her finger along her seam, showing him how wet she was and holy hell.
He clamped down on his back teeth, still not believing this was real.
“You know how many times I’ve had to disappear from a room you’re in to go touch myself?” she whispered, slipping that finger into her pussy and letting out a moan.
“Same. Fucking same,” was all he could manage.
She quietly eyed him before saying in a sultry voice, “It’s always hate-sex that gets me off because I’m always so fucking mad at you that . . .” She added a second finger and closed her eyes in pleasure.
He unglued his hands from the doorframe at her breathy confession and stepped into the room, allowing the bathroom door to shut behind him. A quick check of the lock on the bedroom door confirmed she’d been a good girl, and they were safe from interruption.
“You ever have hate-sex between us in your head? Or is that just me?” Ella didn’t miss a beat. She kept talking and touching herself, her free hand now pinching her nipple through the material of her dress, and he was growing more lightheaded by the second.
He palmed his dick over his pants, on the verge of losing his load if she kept this up. “I don’t have hate-anything with you,” he admitted. “But do I think about you when I come? Every fucking time.” Her hands stilled at his confession, the only movement the rise and fall of her chest as she processed his words. “Did I say you could stop, darling?”
Her body shivered before following his command, and as he closed the remaining distance to the foot of the bed, she asked while parting her lids, “Did you finish in the bathroom?”
“Does it look like I finished?” he asked as he lowered the zipper of his pants and gripped his aching dick, an obvious wet spot on his boxers from her little show.