“No, I did not.” Cody frowned. “Are you telling me that you did that with me?”
“I told you, I have to finish a project before I start another one,” she answered. “So, yes, I did. I told myself that I had moved on and didn’t even realize that I was measuring every guy by your yardstick. I’ve dated guys. First dates, second, and even a few third. I’ve had three fairly serious relationships. I can see now that the reason none of them worked out was because I was trying to put them up on a pedestal beside the one I had built for you.”
“Good Lord, Stevie!” Cody took a long draw from his beer. “Why would you do that?”
“I made you into this perfect person in my mind. I was devastated the night we broke up, but I told myself that you were doing it for the greater good.” Stevie shrugged. “Remember earlier this evening when we were talking about always being seventeen in our hometown?”
Cody nodded. “What’s that got to do with this?”
“Everything,” Stevie answered. “Being seventeen in Honey Grove isn’t important. What is important is that when I’m around you, that I’m still seventeen again. I don’t know if I was your first, but you were mine.”
“I knew, and yes, you were,” Cody whispered.
“They say you never get over your first love, your first experience in sex, your first anything. I guess I didn’t,” she told him.
“Now that I recognize the problem, I will get over it. It’s been pretty damn immature of me not to own up to it and admit it before now. I hope that going forward we can be friends,” Stevie said.
“Whew!” Cody said. “That’s a lot of honesty for one night, but I’d like it very much if we could be friends.”
“I feel better for having said it,” Stevie told him. “It’s not fair to either of us for me to blame you for my failed relationships, and like you said, what I felt was pure infatuation, not love. You were wise enough to see that. I wasn’t, but I do now.”
“We were both too young to make a lifetime commitment or to change our plans to suit the other one,” Cody said. “I knew that you wanted more, and it scared me, because to give you that, like I said, it would have taken more than I had to offer at the time. The feelings I had for you back then scared me.”
In all the scenarios that had ever played out in her head, this one had never entered Stevie’s mind. She’d always thought the Ryan boys were super sure of themselves. In her eyes Cody had always been ten feet tall and bulletproof.
“I can’t imagine you being scared, but I understand,” she said.
“You’ve figured out things for yourself, and it took a lot of courage to talk to me about this,” Cody said, “and, honey, you are not seventeen in my eyes anymore.”
“Thank you for that.” Stevie felt as if a weight had been lifted off her heart.
“I’m glad we had this talk,” Cody said.
“Me too. We’ve kind of taken care of the elephant, haven’t we?” Stevie smiled.
“We have,” Cody agreed.
“Speaking of elephants, Mia and I had a little visit out in the barn. She feels so bad that she sold off her flock of sheep and ran away with Honey Grove’s most notorious bad boy, and used up every bit of her money. Talking to her is what gave me the courage to tell you how I felt.”
“From what Jesse told me, they were heartsick for Mia,” Cody said. “And she’s paying dearly for her mistakes now.”
“How’s that?” Stevie asked.
“She lost her position overseeing some of the hired hands. Addy made her take her courses online this semester because last semester she flunked them all, and she had to interview with Jesse for a job as a ranch hand,” Cody answered.
“Tough love.” Stevie finished off her piece of cake and stole a bite of Cody’s. “Mama applied some of that several times when I was growing up, and even after I came home.”
“Dad will never get better.” Cody’s tone went all hoarse, like he was trying to talk past a lump in his throat. “I couldn’t bear to have one of my kids do that to him in his last days.”
“So you are thinking about settling down now? I figured after you saw that Sonny was all right, you might go back to Doctors Without Borders again.”
Cody took another drink of his beer. “I do miss that life, but my place is here, and to answer your question, I have thought about a family, but that’s as far as it’s gone. Right now, I’m just trying to take care of Dad, this ranch, and my practice.”
“And again, you’ve got too much on your plate for a serious relationship, right?”
“That’s pretty much the way of it,” Cody answered.
“From the time we spent in the tack room, I’d say that you’re a normal old cowboy looking for peace, love, and contentment,” Stevie said.
“I’ll take normal anytime, but I’ll argue that old point,” he teased.
“You’re staring forty in the eye,” she reminded him. “Like I said, I finish a project before I start another one. Consider yourself all done. I’m moving on. You can do the same or not—that’s your choice.”
“What do you want out of life…love?” he teased.
“I don’t have to decide tonight, but I don’t intend to waste any more time on measuring all guys by your yardstick. I’m not seventeen, in this town, or in my own eyes when I’m around you. I’m an independent woman who is building a vet practice.” She picked up her beer and finished it.
“You are definitely independent,” Cody agreed. “You remind me a lot of Addy.”
She stole another forkful of his cake. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” The piece of cake slipped off the fork and was on the way to land on the sofa when Tex gobbled it down in one bite.
“I meant it as a compliment. Addy is amazing.” Cody loaded his fork with the last bite of cake and offered it to her. “Thanks for the talk. Think we might be friends?”
“Right back at you for being honest with me, and I’d like for us to be friends.” Stevie steadied his hand with hers so that the cake made it to her mouth. “And thank you for sharing your last bit of cake with me. Anyone who gives me chocolate is well on their way to being my friend. I’m going to bed now. What time should we be up and around? I can help with ranch work if you need me. Guess we won’t be going to church since we can’t get there past the roads that are blocked with broken-down trees.”
“Jesse and I can take care of that, but breakfast is early. We only have supper together in the ranch house. That way Jesse and Addy can have time to be a family,” Cody explained as he carried the plate and empty beer bottles to the kitchen.
“Then I’ll be up at the crack of dawn, and we can cook breakfast together,” she said. “But really, I would be glad to help with whatever. I could check the cattle and make sure they’re all right in this kind of weather.”
“Make sure your phone is charged.” Cody covered a yawn with his hand. “That way, if we need you, we’ll call.”
“You got it,” Stevie said. “I’m surprised that I haven’t got texts or calls from folks in town who need help with their animals.”