I nearly groaned when she dropped to her knees before me. The last time we’d been in this position, she taken me in her mouth for the first time. Despite the pain in my hand and the far worse heat in my cheeks, my cock stiffened for her.
If only I could lose myself in her, I could rid myself of these ugly, terrifying emotions. Because dread was creeping into my consciousness: the budding realization that I’d done something unforgivable.
“You’re safe now,” I rasped, voicing my rationalization aloud.
Her eyes shone as she tenderly held my hand and disinfected the cut. “Is that why they did this to you? Is it because of me?”
“No, angel,” I promised. “It’s not because of you.”
The mark of my loyalty had nothing to do with her and everything to do with my desire to earn my father’s respect. To prove that I was worthy.
You want to be worthy, but no worthy man would betray the woman he loves in exchange for power. My grandfather’s accusation cut to the bone.
She pressed her lips together and made a small, disapproving sound as she wrapped a white bandage around my hand.
“Okay,” she sighed. “You don’t have to tell me what happened if you’re not ready.” She stared up at me from where she knelt between my legs, her eyes wide and guileless. “You can tell me anything, Max. Whenever you’re ready.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I’d never be able to tell her what I’d done tonight, how I’d been initiated into my crime family. She would hate me forever if she found out that I truly was Mafia. I’d never lied to her before about being a monster, but I would keep this from her. She clearly disdained and feared my family. The knowledge that I’d willingly joined their ranks would destroy what we shared.
And I wouldn’t lose Allie. I couldn’t.
I trailed my fingers through her silken hair, and she leaned into my touch.
“You’re safe now,” I promised. “That’s what matters.”
It was all that mattered: that she was safe and we were together. I wouldn’t allow anything to tear us apart. Not my family, and not this dark secret that I would always have to keep from her.
I couldn’t allow myself to think through the impossibility of hiding the terrible truth from her forever. My shame and fear of losing her overwhelmed all rational thought, and I surrendered to my most primal, possessive instincts.
I grasped her waist and easily lifted her delicate frame, arranging her so that she straddled my hips. Her lips parted on a shocked gasp, and I took the opportunity to claim her mouth once again. I had to make her mine in every way. Allie belonged to me.
I fisted her camisole and yanked it over her head, desperate to strip her bare for me. She handled me with the same frenzied hunger, tearing off my shirt so that she could run her fingers over my muscles, my scars.
I growled into her mouth and nipped at her lips, warning her away from the marks of vulnerability. She pressed her palm flat against the one at the base of my ribcage, defying me. Refusing to allow me to scare her away from my deepest pain that simmered beneath the anger I wore like armor.
I released a groan, a sound of anguish and longing. Allie decimated me like nothing else, and I was addicted to her power over me.
She shrugged out of her bra and arched against my chest, seeking stimulation against her tight nipples. I captured one between my thumb and forefinger, wrestling back control from her. When we were together like this, we did things on my terms.
“Tell me you’re mine.” My demand was hot on her lips.
“I’m yours,” she panted, pressing desperate kisses along my jaw, up my cheek, over my scar.
A shudder rolled through me at the intimate contact with the mark that had branded me with shame. It stoked the disconcerting heat in my face that’d bloomed as soon as she’d wrapped her arms around me.
I broke the contact with a growl, shoving the awful sensation away. I gripped her hips and turned, tossing her down onto the mattress and covering her body with mine, trapping her where I wanted her.
She gasped my name, and dark pleasure gathered at the base of my spine. I wanted to hear it again. I wanted her screaming it by the time I was finished with her.
I grazed the side of her neck with my teeth, and a little broken whimper eased from her chest. My smile against her pebbled skin was more than a touch savage, and I continued to explore her with my mouth. She would melt in my hands and surrender completely. She made me vulnerable in ways I’d never imagined, but she also made me feel more powerful than I’d known was possible.
I nipped at her shoulder before soothing the slight sting with my tongue, then dropped a soft kiss on the hollow at the base of her throat. I trailed a scorching path down her sternum, and her fingers fisted in my hair as she arched her back.
“Max!”
I captured her tight nipple between my teeth, and my fingers encircled her small wrists, directing her arms to her sides and cuffing them there so that I could continue to toy with her breasts at my leisure.
She made the sexiest little whine, a sound of lustful distress. I released her from my bite and kissed her tormented nipple, flicking my tongue over the tight peak until she moaned and writhed beneath me.
Her hands jerked against my hold, so helpless to resist me. My power over her flooded my mind, making me drunk on her. She was all that mattered, all that existed. There was only the two of us. Nothing keeping us apart.
My dick strained against my jeans, and I hissed in a breath when she ground her hips against my erection. Biting out a curse, I released her wrists so that I could unbutton her pants and dip my fingers into her underwear. A rough, primal sound slipped between my teeth when I found the wet heat at her core.
I caught her sharp cry on my tongue as my thumb slowly circled her clit.
“I’m going to get you ready for me, baby.”
Her sparkling eyes were huge, and her cheeks were flushed my favorite shade of pink. She licked her full lips and nodded her agreement, urging me to continue. To take what I wanted.
I eased one finger into her tight channel, pressing deep until my palm cupped her pussy. She shuddered, and her inner walls fluttered around me. I rubbed her clit, and she clenched down on my finger with a soft cry.
“You’re doing so good, angel.” I found the spot inside her that made her come undone, and her back arched on a moan. “So fucking good.”
Her hands clamped around my arms, her fingernails digging into my biceps as though I was the only thing tethering her to reality. She was so goddamn beautiful that it made my heart hurt. I took a deep breath and embraced the keen desire that tormented me, riding the edge of painful lust as I urged her to relax for me.
When her core began to contract, I pressed a second finger inside her. She tensed, and her fingers flexed into my muscles as her eyes tightened with discomfort.
I gently shushed her and rubbed her clit, lighting her up with pleasure until she eased to accommodate the larger intrusion. Within minutes, she was rotating her hips against me once again, torturing me as she rubbed my throbbing erection.
Unable to wait any longer, I crooked my fingers against her g-spot, forcing an orgasm from her hot little body. Her hands flew into my hair, and she pulled me toward her for a fierce kiss as she came undone.
Her pussy was still fluttering with the aftershocks of her release when she started fumbling at my jeans.