“She was really upset,” Nan whispered, wiping the tears away from her face.
Doreen got up, walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbed the box of tissues, and brought it over for her.
Nan dabbed at her eyes and whispered, “That would be absolutely terrible, if that’s what happened.”
“But we also have to understand that sometimes, at the end, what we think we’re looking for is not the end that we find,” she murmured.
Nan shuffled so that she was closer to Doreen, and reached over and picked up her hand. “If I’d even thought that we would go down this pathway,” she said, “I wouldn’t have gone here.”
“Maybe not,” Doreen agreed gently. “And I can understand being terribly upset to think that your friend might have done something like this willfully, but it is something we have to consider.”
Nan sniffled again and then took another Kleenex and blew her nose. “Maybe,” she muttered. “But I won’t believe it,” she stated defiantly.
“And why is that?”
Her grandmother stopped, looked at her. “Because she was very much in love with him. I think she fully expected to explain it away and that he would forgive her.”
“And what if she had that talk with him and what if he didn’t believe her?” she asked quietly.
At that, Nan shook her head. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can tell you that she would have been very, very upset.”
“Exactly,” Doreen agreed quietly with her grandmother. “And that is then something that we do have to consider.”
“I don’t want to consider it,” she snapped.
She reached over and gripped her grandmother’s hand. “Remember. We’re doing this for Chrissy’s sake, not for our sake. We’re trying to get at the truth, not just create something that fits the truth you want it to be.”
At that, Nan’s gaze widened. “Oh dear, is that what I’m doing?”
“You’re looking for something to … something to justify the guilt, to ease the guilt that you’re holding in your heart,” she explained quietly. “And we can’t always do that. Maybe your friend did need a friend to listen to her at the time. Maybe she needed more from somebody. Still, that doesn’t mean she needed it from you. But it may feel like that, especially if this is what ended up happening, but we don’t know for sure.”
“No, of course not.” Then she wrapped her arms around her chest, as if she were cold.
Doreen got up and grabbed the crocheted afghan from behind the big recliner and wrapped it around her grandmother’s shoulders. “And I’m sorry this is so upsetting for you.”
“Well, of course it’s upsetting,” she noted. “Last thing I want to think about is a friend of mine having been so upset that death was an easier answer than facing tomorrow.”
“And yet,” she reminded her, “for many people, the tomorrow here isn’t necessarily all that happy.”
“Maybe not,” she agreed, “but Chrissy wasn’t like that. You know how she really lived in her own world.”
“And maybe that inner world of Chrissy’s suddenly turned sour on her,” Doreen suggested, “and it was hard for her to come to terms with the reality that she had to get to tomorrow.”
“Meaning, Xavier?”
“Yes, I mean Xavier.” There wasn’t a whole lot of point in staying any longer, but she asked, “Do you know if this Xavier guy is still here?”
She shook her head. “After Chrissy’s death, he moved.”
“Oh, interesting. Do you know where?”
She nodded. “He went down to something called Riverview Manor. “I don’t … I don’t even remember if that’s the name of it, but it was something like that.”
Doreen nodded. “Maybe I’ll ask Richie.”
At that, Nan snorted. “Yeah, you go ahead and ask Richie about that one. He wouldn’t have given Xavier two times a day.”
“Sorry?” Doreen asked in confusion.
“Well, if someone wouldn’t give Xavier the time of day, then Richie hated him so much that he wouldn’t have given him two times a day.”
Still confused, Doreen nodded, as if she understood. “Do you mind if I leave the animals here, while I go talk to Richie?”
“Of course not. They are welcome here anytime. And especially when I need more hugs.”
After a teary hug with her grandmother, Doreen quickly stepped out of Nan’s place and walked down the hallway to Richie’s room. At the knock on the door, he called out to come in. She poked her head around. “Hey, Richie.”
He motioned at her to come in. “Come on in. Come on in. Have you got any news?”
“Just a couple questions at the moment.” She asked, “Do you know a Xavier Zelnick?”
He nodded. “Wish I didn’t though. Talk about a ladies’ man.”
At that, she stifled a smile. “In what way?” she asked. “Apparently he was Chrissy’s most recent boyfriend.”
“Yep, and they were an item for quite a while, but he broke it off when one of the witches in this place started up a rumor about her having an affair behind his back.”
“And was it a rumor?”
“Absolutely. Chrissy was just head over heels in love with him. And I don’t even know why,” he said, with a sniff. “I mean, obviously he wasn’t worth it, and she was somebody special.”
“And did you have any hope of a relationship with her?” she asked curiously. He looked at her, and she almost thought she saw a blush forming.
“Of course not. I was too old for her anyway.”
“I see,” she murmured. “So, after that, do you know what happened?”
He looked at her. “What do you mean? What happened?”
“Well, they broke it off. So did he have another girlfriend after that?”
He thought about it and added, “Well, Chrissy died really fast after that.” He frowned. “So I’m not sure if that was exactly … if that’s exactly when he left or not but he, … he moved out pretty fast. I don’t think he even gave much notice here.”
“Hmm.”
He frowned, then shrugged. “Maybe he did it, and that’s why he ran.”
“Maybe,” she noted on a cautionary tone, “but we can’t jump to that conclusion.” Yet it was obvious that Richie was quite excited about his conclusion. “Remember, Richie,” she explained. “We need facts not just fiction.”
His face fell. “Well, good luck getting facts. He’s not here anymore.”
“Do you have any idea where he is now?”
“Yeah, Riverview,” he said, with a wave of his hand. “No idea what it’s like trying to talk to anybody there.”
She winced at that. “No, that’s a good point. I get a lot of leeway here because everybody knows me.”
“Exactly,” he agreed, “but down there, you’ll be persona non grata.” And then he chuckled. “I always wanted to use that phrase.”
She smiled. “Well, now you did, and it’s up to me to figure out how to talk to him.”