“That she is.” He paused. “She said you and I both have those hearts.”
Caroline had to swallow hard. “Oh.”
“So, I’m just sayin’ that, if you want to keep trying with your family, I get it. Completely. And I support you. But if you don’t, I get that too.”
She gave him a small smile. “No, you don’t.”
He started to protest.
“But I love you for that. I love that you would support me not trying. But I also love that you don’t understand not trying to protect and be there for people you love. So—” She took a breath. “Yeah, I think maybe my heart’s big enough to take that on. And if it hurts once in awhile…there’s always Ellie’s gumbo to make it better.”
He gave her a smile that was sweet and hot and proud and full of love all at the same time. “’Course your heart’s big enough for that. And there’s a whole ton of support around you.” He paused. “Which is kind of like bubble-wrap, you know.”
She felt her heart melt a little. Yeah, she did know. And she was glad he did too. She nodded.
“But the work you’re gonna do in your life is gonna need lots of the pieces of your heart so…take your time deciding. Or try it and change your mind. It’s all okay. The only person I ask you to keep on lovin’ no matter what stupid shit he does and says over the next seventy-five years or so, is me.”
She was going to cry. And laugh. And maybe burst with all of the emotions this guy made her feel. “Done,” she managed to choke out.
A rumble of what sounded like thunder made her look up. Clouds were rolling in and the sky was darkening.
She frowned, sitting up. “Dammit, it’s going to rain.” The sun was already blocked out. She’d been so caught up in Zander she hadn’t even noticed.
“It’s no big deal. We can get back before we get too wet,” he told her. He started pulling the fishing rods from the water.
“But it is a big deal.” She felt the sharp stab of disappointment. “This was supposed to be your day off. Bright and sunny. A way to kick back in the quiet. But it’s getting dark. I wanted to show you that there’s always sun on the other side of the dark.”
Zander dropped the rods on the bottom of the boat and leaned in, reaching to snag one of her hands. “But…you’ve shown me that, Caroline. Repeatedly.”
She shook her head. “No. I’ve done the opposite. You were kicking back at Ellie’s having lunch with your family…then I walk in with a lion cub and drag you into my big chaotic mess. You come out to help me and have a simple solution…then my brother shows up and almost kidnaps me. After that, things are fairly calm and we know when Spencer shows up things will be okay…then Brantley shows up and you get yanked out of bed in the middle of the night. Then we have an amazing date night and we have a plan to get the info we need…then I show up at Octavia’s totally off script and turn it all upside down again. Every time you think things are sunny and warm, I roll in with clouds and rain on your plans.”
He gave a little tug. She tumbled forward. The boat rocked, but he settled them in the middle, and it stayed upright. He wrapped his arms around her, tucking her against his chest where his heart was beating hard.
“No,” he said gruffly. “You have all of that backward. Every time something started to look crazy or frustrating or dark, you were there to remind me there was a reason to fight through it. You were the light showing me the direction to go. Did you make my life crazier? Yes. But you made it bigger. You made it more meaningful.
“You could have just been this woman stranded by the road, who needed money to get back to New Orleans. Instead, you were this amazing person who needed someone to help her fight for a cause. You could have been this gorgeous woman I just took on a date and then back to a hotel. Instead, when someone had to step in and get something done with Brantley, you did what only you could have done. Without you, none of that case would be solved right now.”
He took a deep breath. “You could have been some woman who was just here on vacation, taking a break from her hectic schedule, sight-seeing, and kicking back. Instead, you were this person who helped introduce a lion cub to his new foster mom and a whole bunch of people who will love and care for him instead of leaving him in the possession of rich dumbasses who would make his life miserable. And you mucked out alpaca stalls and saved a unicorn and a birthday party. And gave my family a gorgeous tribute to our lives and the people who have made us who we are.”
His arms tightened around her. “No, nothing has been easy or simple with you, Caroline. Thank God. You’ve been more in every way, and you’ve made me and my life more because of it.”
She was full-on crying now. She hadn’t seen any of that but God she was so glad that was all true. Or at least that Zander felt it was true. She wanted that all to be true.
She looked up at him. “I love you so much,” she told him as she sniffed.
“I love you too.” He hugged her again. “And, you are my light. But…” He ran a hand up and down her back. “There can be some fun things about the dark."
Just then a big, fat raindrop hit Caroline’s cheek. He lifted a hand and wiped the drop and the tears away.
“Yeah?” she asked, already feeling her body heating. She knew exactly what he was thinking with that look in his eyes. “Like what?”
“I can show you. Leo’s fishing cabin isn’t too far from here and it’s got everything we need. And I think I might have just found an even better reason to come out to that cabin than fishing.”
She gave a mock gasp. “That’s the nicest thing you could have said to me, Zander Landry.”
“Mean it with all my heart.”
“And you think you’re not romantic.”
He grinned. “I think I’m learnin’.”
“Should we call and let everyone know we won’t be back for awhile?”
“Most importantly, that cabin has no cell service,” he told her.
Zander being willing to go someplace with no cell service, where no one could get a hold of him if something went wrong, was huge. That was definitely romantic.
Her chest warmed. “Won’t they worry?”
“We’ll put out the ‘Go the fuck away’ sign on the dock. If they come lookin’, they’ll know exactly where we are.”
She laughed. “How long can we stay?”
He looked at her with a hot gaze full of love. “Forever.”
She gave him a soft smile. But shook her head. “We’ll just celebrate the moments when things are quiet and everyone is safe and happy whenever we can. And we’ll take care of them all the rest of the time. Together.”
He held her gaze for a long moment. Then nodded. “Let’s do that.”
“And we’ll go fishing as often as possible,” she added.
He shifted her off his lap and onto the bench across from him. Then he reached to start the boat engine, pointing them down the bayou toward the fishing cabin. “And some of the time we’ll maybe even actually fish,” he told her with a grin.
Epilogue