What are You doing, Adonai? Will our family ever come together in harmony?
They had never been a close, loving family. His grandfather Laban had made sure it did not begin that way. And the rivalry between the women had filtered down to their children. If only there was something Joseph could do to change it.
9
As the sun splayed an array of yellow and pink hues like fingers spread wide, Joseph wore his multicolored coat while joining the others around the central fire. The wives of Jacob had prepared food for them, and the servants offered it to each one in turn.
The women spoke among themselves, and his father was engaged in conversation with his grandfather before turning to him. “Joseph, my son, I am glad to see you wearing the coat I gave you. It makes me proud to see it.”
His father’s loving smile warmed Joseph’s heart. He would wear the coat more often if it gave his father such joy.
“I am happy to please you, Father.” Joseph took the plate of hot bread and fruit from the young servant and held it on his knee. Benjamin’s high-pitched voice mimicked words Joseph did not quite understand as Dinah fed him.
“I’m glad to hear it,” Jacob said, pulling his attention back to their conversation, “for I have something to ask of you.”
His father’s words caught the attention of those nearby, and silence settled one by one over the small group.
“What is it, Father? I will do whatever you ask.” Perhaps he wanted Joseph to do some new task with the overseer today or help him walk the length of the land he rarely walked alone.
“Your brothers are still pasturing the sheep at Shechem,” his father said, his dark eyes never leaving Joseph’s face. “Get ready, and I will send you to them.”
Joseph finished the bit of bread he had broken off and swallowed hard. Go to his brothers? Was this God’s answer for him to make amends with them? A little thrill ran through him. Surely God’s hand was in this. He knew Joseph’s heart. Perhaps He was making a way for Joseph to fix the brokenness in his family.
“I’m ready to go,” he said, his heart beating faster.
“Good. Go and see how your brothers and the flocks are getting along,” Jacob said. “Then come back and bring me a report.”
Joseph nodded. “I will leave now.”
“But take a few servants with you,” his father said as if in afterthought.
Joseph saw his father’s furrowed brow and the sudden concern in his gaze. “I will take them if you want me to, Abba, but there is no need. The Lord will be with me, and you need the servants here.” He touched the pouch of nuts at his side. “I will take my sling and staff, and you know I am strong. You need not fear for me.”
He waited a breath until his father nodded his assent, then gathered food to put in a second pouch and another skin filled with water. He went to his tent to grab his staff and looked about the room to see if he should take anything else with him. No. He would not be gone long. Shechem was not such a long walk. He added his sling and sack of stones to his belt for protection from wild animals, then left the tent, satisfied with what he had.
He returned to his father, kissed Benjamin goodbye, and then kissed his father’s and grandfather’s cheeks. “I will return soon,” he promised.
Dinah touched his arm as he was about to leave the central area of the camp. He looked at her, and she pulled him close. “Be careful, Joseph,” she whispered in his ear.
“I will,” he said, pulling back and smiling into her eyes. “Perhaps this is the answer we spoke about. Perhaps God will give me the chance to bring peace between us all.”
“I will pray that this is so.” But her brows were drawn low, and worry filled her beautiful eyes.
“Thank you,” he said, not wanting to dwell on her fears. All women worried about their men, and Dinah had been his closest friend all his life, sister or not. “It shouldn’t take long to find them,” he added, then turned to head north toward Shechem.
Joseph walked with a light step, moving closer to a town he had never expected to visit again. He’d been young, barely a man, when his father had camped outside the gates of Shechem. Dinah, two years his junior, had been but thirteen when she fell prey to the prince of the land. The thought brought with it the weight of sadness, but he could not dwell on what he could not change.
He glanced at the multicolored coat he’d worn to please his father, hoping against hope that the object would not incite wrath in his brothers. His dreams comforted him when he thought of their anger. God had surely shown him that one day they would respect him. But would they really bow to him?
He looked at the clouds skipping across the bright blue sky. Sunlight poked between their cumulous layers, and it seemed as though the lights of heaven had broken out just for him.
Though he’d pondered the dreams for weeks, he could not see any possible way his brothers or his father would bow to him. Even when he became head of the clan after Jacob rested with his fathers, there would be no cause or reason for such a thing. Brothers did not bow to brothers just because one was their leader.
He focused again on the road ahead, using his staff to make the way steady. Walking alone through the hilly country did not cause him fear, for he had been alone with the sheep as a much younger lad. And he felt the strength in his arms and legs and knew he could handle himself. Still, sudden doubt rose within him. Would it not have been wiser for him to bring a few servants as his father had suggested? What if he was attacked along the way? Even with his sling and stones and shepherd’s staff to fend off wild beasts, what would he do against a band of men?
His heart missed a beat at the thought, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. Should he go back and gather servants and perhaps a donkey to take provisions to his brothers? By now they might be in need of food, and he could have appeased them with a gift. Why had he not thought of it? Why had his father not insisted and suggested a gift?
You were simply sent to check on your brothers’ safety, not to gain something from them.
That was true. But the more he thought on it, the more he considered turning back. He had not gone so far that he could not make it home by nightfall.
He glanced heavenward again. Do I fear for no reason, Adonai? He knew God wanted his trust. It was a lesson he had learned from his parents, Leah, and his grandfather. Perhaps he’d learned the most from his grandfather, who had suffered much agony during his youth. It was a trial Joseph could not imagine facing. To have your own father offer you as a sacrifice with no one to stop him but God.
Whenever that story came to mind, he shuddered inwardly. His father could not have done what Abraham had. And Joseph was certain he could not have submitted as Isaac had. Did that make him a man of lesser faith?
But he believed in his God. His faith was sure, even when his brothers disdained him and refused to speak to him. And one day God would show them how wrong they were and elevate Joseph in their eyes to the place he belonged.
As he continued toward Shechem, his faith was renewed, and he began to hum a hymn of praise. He had been right to refuse the company of others. God was with him, and alone he could better commune with Him. Besides, didn’t God control the wild beasts and protect from the hands of men?