There wasn’t a day that I woke up with her in my arms and didn’t fall just a little bit more in love with her.
She was mine. What was more, I was hers, and I fully intended to show her how it felt to be worshipped without conditions by a man who was willing to break his back in an effort to become deserving.
A loud burst of laughter jerked me from my thoughts and back into the present. I glanced over to the kitchen that had been scrubbed clean by the Ryan clan after dinner. Spencer was standing out on my back deck, the door open to let in the cool night breeze, helping his daughter, Sasha, throw a dingy tennis ball across the yard for Rollie. Every time the dog bounded back up the steps, she squealed in delight.
Stella was standing around the island with her mother, sister, and Spencer’s wife, Kira. I noticed a third bottle of wine had been opened, and the women’s faces were equally flushed as they diligently watched the three cards Stella was shuffling around on the countertop. “Eyes on the queen. Eyes on the queen. Whatever you do, don’t take your eyes off that lady, ladies.”
She stopped her shuffle, and Kira pointed at the middle card. When Stella flipped it over to reveal a six of hearts, her sister-in-law let out a slurred, slightly drunk “Shun of a bish!” that had the rest of the women in stitches.
“She’s something else, isn’t she?”
I didn’t bother pulling my eyes from Stella as her father came to a stop beside me where I stood near the fireplace. “Yes, she definitely is.” I lifted the bottle of beer in my hand and took a pull. “She’s something pretty fucking incredible.”
“Cheers to that.” Joe lifted his own beer, and I clinked the neck of mine against it. “I’m inclined to agree. And not just because I’m her dad.”
We both drank as we stood off to the side, content to enjoy watching everyone enjoy themselves.
“That ex-fuckface never deserved her,” Joe gritted a minute later.
I agreed wholeheartedly. “Nope.”
“Was never inclined to take care of her,” he continued. “Part of me wants to think the reason he wants her back so bad is ’cause he realizes he lost something amazing.” He shook his head sadly. “But I know it’s only ’cause he misses her taking care of him.”
I didn’t doubt that for a second.
“My baby girl’s always been the fixer of the family,” Joe sighed, drawing my attention fully to him as he shook his head, his expression full of sadness that suddenly made him look a hell of a lot older. “That’s on me. Any problem, she was the first to dive in and solve it, and eventually, I just sat back and let her. Never should’ve put her in that position. She was just so damn . . . old. Even when she was a kid. She came out of the womb that way, but that’s no excuse. She never wanted this life. I’m a shit father for getting any of my kids into it, but most especially my Starshine. All my girl ever wanted was to be normal. Have a normal job, a normal marriage to a normal man. Wanted it so damn bad, she tied herself in knots with that weasel trying to get it.”
I couldn’t say I disagreed, or that he wasn’t in the wrong for letting his youngest carry so many burdens, but I also couldn’t say it came from a bad place. When you had three kids, I imagined it was easier to just let the most responsible one share in the responsibility.
“You fucked up,” I told him, mindful to keep my voice low so no one could overhear. “But the fact you know that and want to do better says something. You’re not a bad man, Joe. You cherish your family above all else. There isn’t a single one you wouldn’t lay your life down for, so maybe cut yourself a little slack. The past is in the past. Just try and do better from here on out, yeah?”
The man’s eyes had grown red during my little speech, his chest rising and falling on labored breaths as he fought back emotion that was all for his kids. I remained silent and let him have that time, waiting for him to take the lead and speak again once he managed to gather himself.
“You take care of her,” he stated.
“I try. She doesn’t make it easy.” I shook my head, a small grin tugging at my lips. “Damn woman pushes back at every turn.”
“But I’m guessing you still manage to come out victorious.”
He wasn’t wrong about that. “Stella’s got a stubborn streak a mile wide, but I can be just as hard-headed when I want to.”
He chuckled low under his breath. “Got no doubt about that, son. But the fact you want to try is what I like so damn much.” He turned to me, his expression growing somber as he asked, “I can trust you with her, can’t I?”
“Yes sir, without a single doubt. You have my word. I’ll protect her with everything I am.”
“Knew that by how you look at her. You’ve been watching my girl all night like she’s the most precious thing in your universe.”
“Because she is.”
“My God,” he said under his breath. “You love her, don’t you?”
I gave the man my full attention once more, my eyes drilling into his so he’d see the honesty written all over my face. “Hope you’re not expecting me to deny it.”
The corner of his mouth crooked upward. “Think I’d lose a little respect for you if you did.” He canted his head to the side toward the kitchen. “Does she know yet?”
“Nope.”
We both turned back to the women when they let out a hoot. Serenity’s arms were in the air in victory, the card with the queen on it flipped over in the middle of the other two. Stella was laughing behind the rim of her wine glass, and at the sight of those dimples, that warmth I felt inside was beating at my ribs, desperate to get out so it could leak into everything.
“Hope you don’t mind me asking,” he said a second later, “but is there a reason you’re keeping that from her?”
“I’ll tell her when she’s ready to hear it,” I confessed. “Right now, she’s not willing to believe it. She thinks it’s still too soon, and the truth would send her running. That’s not a chance I’m willing to take.”
“Well, I’ll be,” Joe said on a hearty chuckle. “You know her almost as well as we do.”
I downed the rest of my beer, bending forward to place the empty bottle on the coffee table, silently reminding myself to remember to throw it away later so Stella didn’t feel the need to go around and clean up after me.
“I’ve given it to you straight so far, so I hope you don’t mind a little more.”
I watched as the man visibly braced himself. “I can handle it.” I studied him closely, realizing he meant that, and it only made me respect him that much more.
I didn’t bother mincing words. “Good, because Stella’s out,” I said definitively. “Not because I give a shit whether she spends the rest of her life picking the pockets of people she thinks deserve it, but because it’s what she wants. You said so yourself. What she wants to do with her life is totally up to her, and I’m going to give her the time and the freedom to figure that out on her own. I’m going to handle this shit with O’Brien for you, and then she’s done. You get me?”
He nodded solemnly. “I get you, son. But this O’Brien mess, it’s not on you to clean up. That’s on me.”