“Andsh, I just sayings… shit I’m gonna be a dad!” He yells it. Thankfully the music is super loud at the reception, and mostly everyone is either dancing or they’re on their second glass of wine.
Italians, we know how to party. What can I say?
Junior just pats Ash on the back. “Yes, yes you are.”
“Shit,” Ash says it again. “Whatsh if…”
“Nope,” Valerian says. “Don’t do the whole what if thing, plus you’re so fucking drunk you won’t even remember this tomorrow.”
“Hydration!” Maksim announces.
“I got this.” Junior winks.
“I’ll help.” Valerian walks off, leaving Maksim and me.
My best friend; hell, they all are.
Everyone’s having so much fun—my parents included. I like to see them relax. I know the stress my dad has on his shoulders. My half-brother, Dom, is helping out so my dad can hang with my mom and not worry about the world burning down around them.
I catch Tex’s gaze and nod.
He salutes me and then winks.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to give it all up, to give him this giant empire and just walk out into the ocean.
Would I hold my breath?
Or would I let the waves crash over me until I can’t breathe? Until I float away.
People would miss me.
Right?
But would she?
“Hey…” Maksim shoves me a bit. “Do you need a minute?”
I let out a long sigh. “No. I’m good. I mean, it doesn’t change things, does it?”
“No,” he says quickly. “But I’m here to provide an excuse if you need to leave for at least an hour. I do know Del…”
Yeah, he was pretending to fuck her not so long ago.
Angry, my jaw clenches as I look away.
He chokes out a laugh. “Wow, still pissed, good to know.”
“I’m not pissed.” I’m so pissed I want to unhinge his jaw from his face. “I’m totally fine.”
“Suuuuure.” He looks down at my fists then back up at me. “Totally relaxed.”
“Do you have a reason for being here right now other than to make me want to fight you?”
“Would it help?” he asks. “To punch me? Get bloody?”
“Maybe,” I grumble. “No. Yes. I don’t even know anymore at this point.”
Del’s out on the dance floor with her uncle looking tense as hell. Thank God, my dad steps in and starts dancing with her. I breathe a sigh of relief as they twirl around. The first relaxed smile I’ve seen forms across her lips, and I’m immediately pissed all over again because it was my fucking dad that put it there, not me.
Shit. I wipe my hands down my face.
“He could be her dad.” Maksim elbows me. “Stop being weird.”
“She’s happier with my dad than me,” I mumble, then huff out a breath.
“God, stop being such a bitch,” Maksim says under his breath. “So yeah, this sucks, yeah you’ve taken one for the team, but this isn’t you, all right? So I’m going to help, take one last look at that girl, smile, have your fucking daydreams about unicorns and lollipops, then do your damn job and remember who the fuck you are!” He grips my elbow. “If you need reminding, I have no qualms about punching you in the face just to get you to hit me back.”
I jerk away. “Do you want me to kill you tonight? Asking for a friend.”
He laughs. “You could try…”
“I hate you sometimes.” But I also love him. And I also smile a real smile.
“There it is.” He shoves me again. “Don’t be a bitch; nobody wants to sleep with someone who’s sad.”
The dance ends.
She looks up at me, then turns.
I’m ready to walk toward her to ask her to dance when Roman comes up behind her, grasping her elbow and whispering something in her ear.
I clench my teeth then realize I did this. He’s her bodyguard, so if there’s a threat, that’s his actual job, to keep her safe.
“Relax,” Maksim says next to me. “Want me to follow them?” They’re already heading outside.
“Nah.” I pat him on the back. “Thanks for the pep talk, but I’ve got this. We need to go in a few anyway.”
Yay, gotta start that super awesome honeymoon.
I swear it feels like an anvil is literally stuck in my chest.
I breathe in and out, calm, even breaths.
I can do this.
Maksim salutes me, and then I’m off to follow my wife and the love of her life out into the starry night.
Damn.
I shove open the doors to the hotel ballroom and frown. They clearly haven’t gone outside because I would have seen them walking. A waiter’s walking toward me.
“Hey, man,” I say. “Did you see the bride go somewhere out here?”
“Oh yeah, they went that way.” He points down the hall and then walks past me, holding a tray of cocktails.
I follow where he pointed. The hallway’s pretty dark, and it looks like it goes farther into the convention center of the hotel. I pass the bathrooms on the right and then stop when I see her.
She’s beautiful pressed up against the wall with Roman’s mouth so close to hers I feel like I’m going to be sick.
She shakes her head at him; he presses his body against hers, and everything in me just fucking snaps.
Because what the hell? He couldn’t at least wait until after the wedding night? After the honeymoon? Does he not fucking realize what he gets out of this? A job. Money.
But most important.
He gets her.
While I most likely have a price on my head the rest of my life, wishing I could share the burden of what I do with someone who looks at me the way she looks at him.
She lightly shoves his chest.
I walk toward them.
I’m done.
“At least let her be mine for seven days before you take her for the rest of her life. Before you get her pregnant. Before you kiss her goodnight. Before you get old and gray—you owe me, as your fucking Capo, to at least give me my seven days.” I say it in a ruthless voice that shocks even me.
Roman jerks away so fast he almost falls on his ass. “I’m sorry, sir, you’re right. She just looked so pretty—”
“I fucking know what she looks like,” I say in a lethal tone. “And you will respect me on my wedding day. I can easily assign someone else as her bodyguard. Don’t tempt me.”
He can’t even meet my gaze. “Sorry, sir. You’re absolutely correct.”
“I know,” I mutter. “Don’t patronize me.” I hold out my hand to Del. “I think it’s time to go before you’re tempted to sleep with the wrong man tonight.”
She flinches.
And I hear a slight curse fall from Roman’s mouth.
Good, let him be just as miserable as I was watching them nearly kiss and touch on the day I gave my life to everyone in order to keep them safe only to have nothing to show for it but a bride who’s currently looking at my hand like it’s poison.
I hate this.
Sometimes, I just wish she would pretend.
Our friendship used to be that, just a friendship, it was good, it was easier than things are now. But then things shifted, and I can’t go back to the way things were with her.